Funny Inappropriate Bible Verses Novels & Stories

She hurries and looks away, then finds a seat on the opposite side of the room. Strange, but I don't overthink it. Ellie enters and does the same thing. Relieved, I settle in my seat, but Paige enters. After panning the crowd, she finds me and sits next to me. "Good morning, Paige." "Morning, Ajay." Katrina greets, "Good morning, women of God. Please turn to Proverbs 17. Verse one reads, Better is a dry morsel with quietness than a house full of feasting with hatred."

Is this day Is this day again I know the nurture I realise the day Let's celebrate Let's celebrate This morning This day It's rich in every way It's polite in its stay Let's make helpful use Of this day To knock out pain To knock out past stains On Memory Celebrate this day Love it Celebrate this day No day is less Than a Christmas Day Celebrate It To enrich in all the ways In all the ways This day This day ******** When I sin When I don't The Bible keeps a record Of what I speak I don't But then why Me in church Again Why not I be free From bonding Of dirt and dust On life's throne I know it aches To follow a concept That ultimately fails To make you happy again To be serious in life's ever

Is that inappropriate? I’m fucked up!

1 Peter 1:13 Complete the race that God has set before us. II Timothy 4:6-8 People of God, give Him glory. Isaiah 42:12 Let us abound in Faith, Love, and Hope. 1 Thessalonians 1:3 ALL. Lies. The Bible fed us with opium. We became high with it. I should have made an effort to save my family, said some suggestions. I have enough strength. Maybe we should have made an underground passage for me and my family to use for escaping the authorities?

As children, Paul and Sharon were told in no uncertain terms that masturbation is a sin and they would burn in hell if they played with themselves. Sharon took this literally and has never touched herself or let anyone else touch her. Now her insides are burning hot and wet. "Cursed be he that lieth with his sister, the daughter of his father, or the daughter of his mother. Deuteronomy 27:22," Paul whispers as Sharon tugs at his sweat pants and he grabs her hand to stop her.

The pastor then added a Bible text from 2 Timothy chapter three, verse twenty-three saying," she murmurs “All of the Scriptures are inspired by God and can be used to educate, rebuke, correct, and train in righteousness, ensuring that God's servant is fully prepared for all good deeds." Her father Ernest noticed that Ericka had a knot between her eyebrows. Ericka also remembers the passage from Hebrews 4:12, which states, “Because the word of God is living and active, it is sharper than any double-edge sword, and it can penetrate even to the bone marrow, joints, and dividing soul and spirit. It also assesses the heart's intentions and the thoughts.” She just borrows her father's bible to con

I see,” I said, feigning understanding. “So, now, having and enjoying sex makes a girl a slut.” “That’s not what I meant,” Kaylee defended quickly, suddenly self-conscious; something I figured had to do with that whole feminism parade she had going on a few months ago. “Then what do you mean?” “Well that… that uh…” But it was another voice that helped her out – Hailey Johnson, the leader of the school's church group. “No one is implying anything here, Stephanie. But according to the Bible, sexual immorality is something detestable to the Lord. And it is not too late for all who’ve been misled towards such path to change.” For someone who wasn’t implying anything, she sure implied a lo

Ozgur's words stopped, because now the bible had opened by itself. Then without being touched, the Bible scrolls through its pages. In the end, stopping to the old testament page. "Don't tell me the Bible tells us to guess the passage?" Zeus tried to calm down, but there was still panic there. Zeus was panicking, because this was a real nightmare. "You think this is Jumanji." Ozgur exclaimed. "In the Deuterocanonica (Roman Catholic canonical book) there are thousands of verses. How could we possibly guess?"

Phone in and tell us if you know. ‘Here is our Baltimore bible expert, Randy Nelson. Randy, tell us what the bible quote was.’ Camera swings to Randy, who looks more like a country singer than a bible expert. ‘Well, Todd, John 7:53, verses 8 to11, refer to the passage where the Lord forgives the adulteress. The unidentified woman tells us the Lord’s message “is shit”. Seems she has issues with the Lord’s decision. Jesus said, “Let he who is without sin, throw the first stone” She sure threw the first punch.’

I didn't know if he wanted to sound humorous but I wasn't buying that anymore. "The Bible says do not argue, twist or change the words of the scripture, exceptions cannot be made father, as the homosexuals from hell go back to their dwelling place isn't hating on your neighbor a sin, isn't wishing ill, thinking ill, saying bad things upon your neighbor a sin" My voice echoed through the chapel with conviction.