Funny Inappropriate Bible Verses Novels & Stories

the pastor says. "When I asked the couple of, they had a special bible verse they would prefer for the wedding, Beckett told me he would like to use the same one used at his parents wedding over thirty years ago... The bible verse is 1 Corinthians, thirteen verses four to eight. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonour others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, and it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues

Aside from that, there's no harm in trying. I took out my phone and opened the bible app that came with it, and to my amazement, Mister Handsome was correct. "Proverbs 4:25 says, 'Let your eyes be straight ahead; fix your gaze directly ahead of you.'" The bible chapters from Proverbs were exalted. I suddenly recall something, and things start to make sense to my ear. "Wait! "I thought it was a romantic way of saying sorry?" I asked. "Well. As you can see, the Bible is chock-full of surprises." Mister handsome remarked, smiling.

Like it just happened yesterday and I will never forgive him. Echo hugged me, and “I am sorry to hear that,” he said. “It is not your fault, don’t say sorry”, I cried to him. “So, what is your plan now?” He asked “I don’t know,” I answered while crying. I take the bible out from my cabinet, which I took from nanny Silva’s room, and open it to verse. Deuteronomy 31:6 and read it silently because I want to clear my mind from everything that is happening to me. The bible verse might help me clear my mind. I take a deep breath before reading it.

Then, against every shred of better judgment he had left, he opened his messages with Avery and typed: **Jamie:** > He touched me last night. Just my throat. For like a second. > And I haven’t stopped shaking since. The three dots appeared almost immediately. **Avery 🐍🐍🐍:** > That’s worse than a kiss. > That’s biblical. > You’re f**ked. Jamie dropped the phone onto the mattress and buried his face in the pillow again. He didn’t reply. He didn’t need to. Because she was right.

“You’ll learn. You are the smartest person I ever met. Even back when you were a teenager, you were smarter than me.” “I don’t feel smarter,” said Jeannine, looking out to the infinite blackness that surrounded them. “Trust me, you are. You just need to act the part. “If ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain, remove hence to yonder place; and it shall remove; and nothing shall be impossible unto you.” Matthew 12:20.” Jeannine snorted. “You quoting the Bible at me now?” Curtis laughed, too. “You would’ve had a lot of that if you’d come to live with Georgina and me.”

Jeez. Shit! What on earth have I done???!!! Oh God! ******** Psalms 55:12-14 - "For it is not an enemy who reproaches me; then I could bear it. Nor is it one who hates me who has exalted himself against me; Then I could hide from him. But it was you, a man my equal, my companion and my acquaintance. We took sweet counsel together, and walked to the house of God in the throng."

Not that I wasn't bothered about the condition of others but Jenny was the collective factor(just don't think too much about it, flip to the next chapter). "Eisii"- sound made to call someone's attention "Wetin una dey do there?, Oya, everybody should come out"- "what are you guys doing there?, Everybody should come out immediately" "So, na Sodom and Gomorrah una dey re-act here, abii"- "So, you guys are here "re-acting Sodom and Gomorrah"? Sodom and Gomorrah- cities destroyed in God in the Bible, for their sins which included sexual immorality.

I cried again while grunting in anger and frustration. “Bible… won’t to be there for you, the man you worship… huh! He stole your life when you were seven” he spoke just to catch my attention as it sounded stupid since I never knew a guy named Bible existed back then. I rolled my eyes at him not bothering what he meant. I can’t be stupid and let him convince me that Bible is my enemy. I mean why would I believe such irrational things?

He added like defending himself and I couldn't find the right words to tell him he was stupid or even crazy. "How can you still look confident like it's nothing... Liking a guy is---" "I'm tired of hearing such boring topics..." He interrupted me. "Humans are the ones who misinterpret the Bible. No angel came to the world to say which is a sin or not, I believe mostly in the Ten Commandments, not the one others misinterpret." He added and I huffed. I should just stop here, there's no point arguing with him. "So why are you telling me how you feel about Matthew?"

“YEAH ! LET THE UNINVITED MOTHERFVCKER GET A TASTE OF ALL OUR ATTENTION AND LOVE” “KILL ! KILL ! KILL !” “BARBECUE HIS ASS, FVCKERS !!” “EVERYONE SHUT THE “HELL” UP ! SEE ? SEE ? WHAT I DID THERE ?” “YEAH SUCKER. YOU USED A PUN FOR THE FIRST TIME IN YOUR LIFE” “HELL NO ! I AM PUN LORD” “NO YOU ARE POOP LORD. THAT’S IT” “SHUT UP, GUYS ! YOU ARE BEING SO UNCOOL”