Funny Inappropriate Bible Verses

Malachi Brooks is a wealthy, eligible bachelor with everything going for him. He is living the life many would want, but he is missing something - The love of a real woman. Of course he has the pick of any woman he chooses; women would bend over backwards to bare his children. He is very attractive, intelligent and he has a lot to offer but he wants something different than what has been getting. Brianna Martin wants something other than being a booty call. She is a thick sistah with a lot going for her. She wants to find real love with a real man who would appreciate her for being her. Lately, Brianna has been thinking it's inevitable for her to be single for the rest of her life. On his way to work, Malachi sees the woman of his dreams but doesn't know how to get in touch with her. Yet he is determined to find out who she is. Meanwhile, Brianna gets an inappropriate phone call that livens things up for her. She does the unthinkable and steals the caller’s number to hunt him down. She’s intrigued to find out who is behind that sexy voice. As luck would have it, Brianna finds the caller and begins calling him to give him a taste of his own medicine and they click! A meet-up is planned between Brianna and the caller. Brianna is hesitant and decides to have a back up plan. The plan goes awry leaving confessions needing to be made. Will Brianna be able to come clean? Will Malachi see Brianna for who she really is?

Jamie Reyes doesn’t do one-night stands. But after a soul-crushing breakup and too many glasses of whiskey, he lets himself fall—just once—for a stranger’s hands, lips, and whispered promises in the dark. No names. No strings. No future. Until Monday morning, when his anonymous hookup steps into the conference room… as Julian Black, his new department supervisor. Julian is everything Jamie shouldn’t want—older, emotionally locked down, and strictly off-limits. Yet the tension simmers, sharp as ever, and pretending it didn’t happen is impossible when every brush of fingers feels like a memory. They’re supposed to be professionals. They’re not supposed to want more. And if they’re caught, everything Jamie’s worked for could fall apart. But what happens when the lines blur, and a one-night mistake becomes the one thing neither of them can walk away from? A steamy, slow-burn MM office romance filled with forbidden tension, secret glances, and the kind of chemistry that doesn’t stay buried.

*Abandoning ship isn’t my style. It wasn’t hers either, but our circumstances ripped us apart. Now it’s not just a literal ocean standing between us. Francine Chirilova has no direction. After coming out of the closet leaves her without a family at age 18, the quick witted 25 year old has been forced to survive on her connections and kind personality. Throw in a rapidly decreasing appetite and a tendency to gravitate toward abusive women for a epic shit show. While recovering from her latest 4 year long mistake, she makes a strong, yet unlikely connection with her virtual best friend. Que in recovering alcoholic Vasilisa Krovopuskova, aged 26 from Siberia, Russia. After surviving a grueling upbringing on her own, trust is a difficult concept to grasp. Already having experienced heartbreak once before, she wasn’t looking for anything serious when Francine crash landed into her life via an online sanctuary for lesbians. With an ocean separating the two, neither Francine nor Vasilisa know which direction to swim in. Will they stay on their side of the world, or drown trying to get to the other? *Disclaimer* - Strong mature content. 18+, please Book one. To follow is book two: “Our Blank Canvas.”

Year Malkame returns to her hometown after ten years of exile. She came back following pieces of a puzzle she really needed to find in order to meet her Secret santa, the man or woman who had been gifting her lonely childhood Christmases with joy and music. Being sent away from her home at the age of fourteen, she had lost the trail of the person she was looking for. But now, she wants to finally find him. But in her journey, she finds her childhood best friend Justin. A misfortune leaves her under the same roof with this man. What happens when long-time friends come together after ten years? What happens when she realizes who her secret santa is? And what the hell happens when a billionaire decides he suddenly wants her to not only work for him but also be his woman?

This is book 1 in the Royal Wolf Of Zidiah series. This book can be read as part of the series or as a standalone. Lillian Dalgaard, or Lilly to her friends, is the future Queen of Zidiah, a strong, powerful, rare wolf shifter and part vampire. With capabilities like no other, only a strong Alpha wolf will do as Lilly's mate. However, the mate she gains is not one she wants. Bastian is a powerful Alpha in his own right and runs his pack with an iron fist. He has no tolerance for rogues and even less for Lillian Dalgaard. When Bastain's men kidnap Lilly, locking her in Greenrock packs cells, they have no clue what they've set in motion. Realising that Lilly is his mate, Bastian rejects her on the spot, not realising he just rejected the future Queen and Omerian wolf that all men wish was theirs, leaving her to die. When the realisation hits, Bastian knows his only choice is to accept Lilly, or it could mean the end of both of them. Lilly, however, has other ideas. She will not accept Bastian, no matter what it costs. Lilly will fight for what's right, and Bastian Ashworth has no business believing that he can write the wrongs of the past between them. Will Bastain be able to show Lillian how wrong he was? Or will her mighty wolf tear him to shreds before the eyes of his pack? There are four books in the series - Alpha Verses Omerian book 1 The Romerian Alpha's Mate, book 2 - both available now. **I sincerely apologise for any confusion with this book and the second. I hope you will continue to read book 2 **

Dominixe Cantavalle, an Alpha slayer, is torn between her loyalty to her father and her love for her Alpha mate. In a desperate bid to gain her father's favor and become the heir of the powerful House of Cantavalle, she chooses to betray and slaughter her mate's pack members, a decision that leaves her in a state of misery and despair. As if that wasn't enough, Dominixe finds herself betrothed to an abhorrent man arranged by her father and is forced to sleep with him against her will. But her fate takes a dark turn when she is poisoned by one of her own sister. In her dying moments, the only one who tends to her is a rogue Alpha who has long admired her. However, when Dominixe wakes up, she finds that she cannot remember him. She can only recall her fated mate Valerian Leveaux, whom she betrayed in the past. Determined to seek revenge against those who have wronged her and protect those who care for her, Dominixe sets out on a perilous journey, with her new allies by her side, to right the wrongs of her past and change the course of her and her Alpha mate's destiny. ︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵ Moon Goddess' Daughters series: Dameta, the Goddess of Time

Kwento ni Calcifer at kung bakit gusto niyang mamatay.Si Calcifer ay isang kalahating demonyo at kalahating mortal. Buong buhay niya ay naghahasik na siya ng kasamaan at ang tanging nais niya lamang ngayon ay ang mamatay na dahil nagsasawa na ito sa kaniyang buhay. Ngunit malakas ang dugo ng kaniyang ama kaya siya ay naging isang immortal at ang tanging makakapatay lamang sa kanya ay ang kanyang tiyuhin at lolo, na si Hesus at ang Diyos Ama. Dahil sa kasamaan nito siya ay nakatanggap ng isang matinding parusa na nagpahirap sa kanyang buhay bilang isang demonyong walang sinasamba at ito ay ang magmahal sa isang babaeng handang makipagkita sakanya kung siya ay makikipag bible study sakanya.

A young guy keeps getting into trouble in very funny and unfortunate ways. He wrecked havocs on people too, mistakenly. He hallucinated and had great fantasies about people to brighten up his hearers. Afterwards, he came back to his mundane reality.

In a world of feral beings who have fangs and claws, an Alpha is born to reign. However, a glitch of nature made something extraordinary. Three Alpha are born to rule the world of wolves. With strength and wit, they build a kingdom and earn the respect of all packs. Rogues and other alphas kneel before their throne. King Lucas Haze is the center of the tri-alpha. Behind every success is his genius plans. The one who executes everything and loves tormenting their enemy. Indeed, Non ducor, duco. Until one night, he found himself fucking up their plan. They are supposed to kill everyone at the party but when his gaze landed on Victoria Stephen, he knows he cannot lay his hands on her. The funny thing is, she was the woman of their ultimate enemy. A woman who remains to be blind just because of love. With no other choice, he kidnapped the woman of his enemy, creating a feud in their plan. Under the complex circumstances of their life, they will find themselves falling at the most inappropriate time. However, is it possible for love to prosper against all wars and odds of their life?

Kiara Tennyson. It has always been her dream to go to the US. After her parent's death, an opportunity presents itself when she gets a chance to go there as an exchange student. She is funny, crazy, very loving, and has read too many books to know that she will find new friends, get into a fight on the first day of school with the queen bee and later teach her a lesson, and maybe find love. Reed Scott. Your typical cliche bad boy. His first love broke his heart causing him to change from loving to becoming cold. What do you think will happen when a bubbly and crazy person comes barging into his life and tries to change his cold demeanour? Why don't you read and find out? Join Kiara and be mistaken for a dog sitter, get into fights, prank the queen bee, fall on your butt in front of your new best friend, prank the whole school, take the bad boy shopping and most importantly find love abroad.