Funny Mom Jokes Dirty

On the day of our marriage registration, Henry Davis’s first love returned.For her sake, he left me at the city hall.He said it was dangerous at night, so he brought his first love back to our new house.I, who was forced to leave, however, encountered a violent criminal.After narrowly escaping death, I finally made up my mind to leave him.But he cried and begged me to stay.I found it ridiculously funny and said, "Do you think I can accept a jerk like you who has no principles?"

He was darkness, sinfully gorgeous, a dangerous fantasy, a walking orgasm with strings of broken heart behind him a proof of his heartless nature. He was everything decadent yet delicious your mom warned you about. She wanted light He wanted her After running away from her abusive drug addict of a step father and a mother who was busy getting her next fix to care for a whiny 15 years old, Maya could safely say she have had it rough in life and just wanted her own happy ever after. A husband who adores her, a picket fence, a dog and three adorable children. After she catches her fantasized soulmate cheating on her with her Best friend, she is shattered which left her deciding to throw caution into the air once and indulge in a mind blowing one night stand. A one night stand which leaves her sprawled on the bed humiliated, turned on and intrigued about the hot stranger with the distant cold blue eyes who practically freaked out when he discovered she was a virgin. When her friend gets her a Job as a PA to the CEO of one of the biggest establishment in the country but turns out Mr CEO was the hot stranger and what's more? He wants to claim her in every way possible but Maya knows what a picket fence guy material looks like and her insanely hot brooding boss wasn't it.

The three-year contractual marriage had fulfilled Ember’s dream.However, everyone knew that the dashing Caleb had his own dream with a woman called Penelope.His love returned, and the contract had ended, but Ember found herself pregnant with Caleb’s child.On the day that they were supposed to complete the divorce, something happened to Ember. Caleb could never find her again. Life seemed to have returned to normal, until one day when Caleb got drunk at a bar. His friends dialed a number saved as “Honey” - only to find it was Ember’s terminated number, not Penelope’s.******Only when Ember returned with her son did Caleb notice he had already fallen for her. He regretted his decision and began his journey to take his wife back. He would sacrifice everything for her.Then one day, when he once again held her hand and pulled her into his embrace, he said with a coarse voice, “Em, I already noticed you the day you gave the speech. When are you coming home? Our house has been so cold…”Ember pushed him away. “Stop acting so lovey-dovey with me. Our son’s watching…”The boy ran away and put his hands over his ears. “Bye, Mom! Bye, Dad!”

I was sold as sex slave by my parents! My mom broke down in tears at this point as she shook her head as she murmured while sobbing. "I'm sorry, my dear... I'm sorry." Her expression looked as if she was truly guilty of me, but her backward steps betrayed her. I shuddered uncontrollably as I watched this unfold before me, desperately shaking my head as I struggled to deny it all. "No, no… I don't want this…" I looked at those men who were looking at me with excitement, as they had already removed their clothes. When I tried to move my thin body and escape from what they were trying to do, the two of them held both of my arms and my legs, trying to stop me from moving, as one of them was already on top of me. One of them sneered as he looked at me with arrogance. "Alpha King has other sex slaves anyway, so there's no harm in us enjoying this bitch first!" Tears broke out of my eyes as I begged them to stop what they were doing. "Stop… no… please don't…" Despite my hoarse voice and I could barely even speak, I pleaded for mercy. I plead that they won't do what they were planning to do. I am saving myself for my future mate. I… I hate this… But what the hell am I supposed to do!

Natalie Adams is not just a typical wolf. She is strong, brave, and beautiful. She has lived in the shadows for many years. She is soon going to be 18 years old and is now a senior at the Blue Moon Academy. She has never had a boyfriend and only has one friend named Evie. However, Natalie didn't realize that not just one Alpha but two desire her. Her Alpha, Christian Allen from the Starry Night Pack, wants her even if she is not his fated mate. He is determined to make her his chosen mate. Alpha Ivan Carter is from the Midnight Pack. He has had feelings for Natalie since they both started the academy years ago. He is determined to get close to her as they both begin their senior year, but Christian is hell-bent on making it impossible for him. Despite all this drama, Natalie has a past that she is unaware of. Ivan has a suspicion that there is more to Natalie than meets the eye. Her pack and others will slowly realize that Natalie is a warrior. Not even her bullies can handle her. Can Alpha Ivan dominate this energetic, bold, sexy she wolf? Read and see.

I needed this. I need to let go. She thought as she tried to justify her sexual feelings towards the sexy beast tangled to her body. "Stop me..." Matteo whispered harshly in her ear, but she was moaning to his kisses and was letting him take off her dress as he lay her down to the bed. He groaned when he saw her slender body which strangely aroused him more than those voluptuous stripper bodies that he had grown accustomed to. "Amara, baby..." ***** She's the daughter of one of the most influential families in the world. She grew up as one of the richest trust fund kids, and she lives a very lavish and luxurious lifestyle. But what people didn't know was the truth of her bloodline. She's the love child, of one of the richest men in the world. She was daddy's little princess. All three of her biological brothers, the true heir of her father's wealth hated her. His wife, her fake mom despised her, never acknowledge her existence unless it was for social occasions. ...... This is a story about the richest, deception, love, humor, hate, heartbreak, and all the drama you can fit into a book. Follow me, find out who's the lucky guy who gets to live his ever after with our madame billionaire. And for all of you who has been stalking on our townies... Take a wild guess, who knows, you might be right ....... *Warning! R-Rated for 18+ due to strong, explicit language and sexual content*

Thea Morris is 23 years old and she works as an interior designer for a well-known company in Paris. She always rejected all the guys that asked her to go out on a date. She doesn't date nor has a boyfriend because she always makes herself busy with her work, work, and work. Joseph Sanchez is 26 years old. He's the owner of Sanchez Corporation also name J.S Corporation. He is well known because of his good-looking face and also he's one of the richest bachelors in New York. He loves to play and break women's hearts. For him, all women are the same who like to easily give their bodies like a whore. When Joseph going to open a new hotel in Paris, of course, he needs an interior designer to make a design for his hotel. That's when Thea is chosen and the one who's gonna in charge of that job. At first, they just act as a professional boss and employee. But then, days by days the attraction between both of them have become stronger. But the problem is Thea didn't want to have any relationship with Joseph because she's afraid that he might leave and break her heart just like he did to other women. Read to find out more...

•Two brothers, one mate, a curse that binds all three. The goddess plays a cruel trick on Selena, pairing her with two mates who are brothers and bitter rivals. When Alpha Tristan comes to take her as his mate, Selena refuses to go because she has heard horrible rumours about the alpha. Her outright refusal enrages him and he disfigures her face as punishment and takes her captive. Selena is subjected to a lot of abuse at the home of the alpha, but she glimpses her first ray of hope when Zander, the Tristan's older brother, comes back home. Burdened by a curse, Zander has been driven by bloodlust all his life. What he does best is killing and plundering... Until he meets Selena and becomes immensely obsessed with her in all the dark, dirty ways he shouldn't. Would she be the one to tame him or will she pick his brother over her?

Night Stalker Series 3: Forrest Wood is an enigmatic tattooed bartender who lives in two worlds to protect someone he loves. He never questions his self-control over temptations while searching for answers for half his life. Until something has changed in a woman, he’s been keeping tabs for a while. When he’s finally ready to deal with his feelings, he knows nothing can be easy in his life—it only complicates his plans and his secrets that Megan might not accept who truly he is. A flirty, blunt, and funny, Megan Simons built her walls over relationships until her life crumbles down in front of her. Forrest comes to the rescue. She finds him intriguing and beyond attractive. When she starts bringing her walls down, she finds herself in a situation where Forrest Wood is more than what meets the eye.

Two CEOs got into an arranged marriage for convenience. One is a strong-willed woman who doesn’t believe in love. The other is a cold-hearted man who was rejected by his unrequited love. Adira Hale and Chadwick McElroy appear to be perfect in front of many. They are rich, influential, leaders, and good-looking. People said that they are the best couple, a match made by heaven. But the truth is far from the imaginary perfect romance that one could think of. Adira only married Chadwick in order to get pregnant. All she desires is his body and not his affection. Meanwhile, Chadwick despises the idea of sharing the bed with his wife just because he’s still in love with another woman. Is there a chance for love to bloom between temptation and betrayal?