Funny Quotes Humor

Demetrio Laureti is the most sought-after millionaire in town. An arrogant, domineering and extremely handsome man, he is used to taking all the women he wants into his bed. When his secretary is fired, he immediately sends for a new one. Confident that they have hired the most beautiful of them all, he decides to make a bet with his best friend and conquer Evangelina Anderson, a woman of grotesque appearance, which is not at all to the taste of the Italian, but, however, manages to drive all his senses crazy. Will Demetrio be able to conquer his secretary? Will Eva be able to forgive Demetrio after this bet?

Reggie is a concubus doing her part in the fight against the false elites. While doing recon for the resistance, she was attacked by ex-trackers. With little memory, aside from her mission, the unique concubus is working for more than just the safety of her people. She is working to find out who she is and where she belongs. Once she returns to the resistance, she finds out her true purpose, to complete a powerful spell that will help in the coming battle with the false elites... and die. In this final installment of the Vasilia Series, all questions will be answered and all vengeance will be brought about. Before reading this, make sure to catch up to the story so far with The Demon Queen's Desire and The Demon Queen's Duty.

WARNING: The female lead is not a weak, spineless doormat. She’s bold, funny, slightly fearless and witty as hell. Her husband is an absolute fool and her ex-fiancé is a full fledged red flag who is completely obsessed with her. Thanks for reading!! *** At the age of 18, Amani’s fiancé looked her in the eyes and called her “the trash.” On top of that, he proceeded to call off their engagement because he found a more beautiful and glamorous woman. Heartbroken and shattered, she gets married to Henry Wilson a few years later and he turns out to be an abuser and a cheat. Their son is diagnosed with stage four cancer and while he breathes his last on his deathbed, Henry is busy frolicking around town with his new secretary. Angry beyond measure, she files for divorce. Amani’s plan after divorce is to remain totally man-free for the rest of her life, but that plan turns to dust when the man who shattered her heart at 18 storms back into her life like a violent earthquake. Bhyron Macaulay is his name – New York’s most enigmatic billionaire bachelor, gorgeous as a demon and every woman’s dream man. One thing about him? He hates debtors. And Amani’s late parents owe him the sum of twenty million dollars. Bhyron has only one plan — to make sure Amani becomes his wife whether by consent or by force, and he plans to use that debt as leverage. When dark, haunting secrets about their pasts start to fly and Amani begins to feel a burning attraction for a man she once swore she hates, who will fall first? The heartless billionaire or the woman he once abandoned…?

May lihim na pagtingin si Arianne sa best friend ng daddy Henry niya na si Josh kaya nang malaman niya na iiwan muna siya dito ng tatlong linggo ay walang pag-aalinlangan na pumayag siya kaagad para makasama ito. Aware naman siya na may girlfriend ito ngunit ang makasama lang niya ito ay masaya na siya. Kasama ni Josh na nakatira sa bahay niya ang girlfriend na si Lira. Maayos naman ang pakiktungo nito sa kanya. She's working as a fashion designer. Palagi itong wala kaya madalas na silang dalawa lang ng best friend ng dad niya ang magkasama. Isang gabi ay umuwi na nakainom ng alak si Josh. Nagkamali ito ng kuwarto na pinasukan. Imbis na sa kuwarto nilang dalawa ng girlfriend niya ay sa kuwarto kung nasaan si Arianne ito nakapasok. Akala niya ay ang girlfriend niya ang nakahiga doon ngunit hindi pala. Nakainom rin si Arianne dahil dumalo ito sa birthday party ng isa niyang kaibigan kaya humiga kaagad ito pagkapasok sa kuwarto kung saan siya natutulog habang nandoon sa bahay ni Josh. Bigla na lang niya naimulat ang kanyang mga mata dahil naramdaman niya na may malaki at matipunong katawan na pumatong sa ibabaw niya. Hubo't hubad ito. Her eyes got bigger when she saw who it was—Josh. Itutulak sana niya ito ngunit malakas ito kaya wala siyang nagawa. Nagustuhan naman nga niya ang ginagawa nito sa kanya hanggang sa may nangyari sa kanilang dalawa. Parehas silang dalawa nabigla kinabukasan sa nangyari. They found themselves naked lying on the bed. Ano ang gagawin nila? Paalisin kaya siya ni Josh sa bahay nito dahil sa nangyaring 'yon o hindi? Paano na ang girlfriend niya? Will it be the end of their relationship and the beginning of his fantasies with Arianne the woman he desires for so long?

Jayson and his fraternal twin Alexi met Taelin when they when they were 18. Their father was marrying her mother so they would soon become step siblings. They knew they wanted her from the moment they saw her. Things were going well for the first few months they lived together, but a few months after school started Taelin distanced herself from them. No matter what they did she avoided them unless it was family related and even then she was standoffish. Before they could figure out what happened they were off to college. Now Taelin is attending the same college, but Jayson and Alexi have no idea. Taelin told her mother that she told them but she didn’t. She has every intention of keeping them from finding out, but when she runs into a couple of mutual friends that changes. Everything comes to a head during a family dinner. The truth also comes out as to why she distanced herself from them. Can Jayson and Alexi make her see what they said isn’t what they felt or meant? What happens when a girl that has been obsessed with the boys start trouble? Can these three work out their issues and can Jayson and Alexi convince Taelin that their relationship is no one elses business but theirs? What will Taelin do when she finds out that she has been Secretly Wanted By Her Mafia Stepbrothers?

Book one of The Moon & Sun Series. Fate is a very funny thing. Sometimes it can bring something amazing into your life, a grand new adventure that will test and challenge you. That will help you grow and learn where you belong in this world. Other times, well... she's just a gigantic witch with a sick sense of humour. I never asked for any of this to happen, to be beat down, hurt and struggle and fight everyday to grow and get better. This was never what I imagined my life would be like. But I'm not one to shy away from a challenge. And I sure as hell won't let a man define me. I make my own path, I will do what needs to be done and if I have to do it on my own, well then so be it.I'll be stronger for it, and there's nothing a man fears more than a strong woman.

Michael Morris has found the perfect girl in Allison Kennemore--she is sweet, funny, beautiful, and everyone thinks they're so cute together. But Michael is lying to himself. His problem is compounded when he meets Allison's charming, handsome, and openly gay sibling Jacob. When Allison discovers that Michael is more interested in Jacob than he is in her, she is devastated. To get back at him, she pretends to be ignorant of his secret and ramps up her seduction to make him squirm. Michael spent most of his teens denying his true self and has learned to hide it well. When Jacob proves to be too much of a temptation, Allison tells him she wants to take their relationship to the next level. Unfortunately, being Allison's perfect boyfriend is the only way Michael can get closer to the one he really wants. If he tells Alison the truth, he might lose his only link to Jacob. When Jacob starts to notice him as Allison pushes for more, Michael will have to decide if he is ready to embrace his true self or lose his opportunity to make a true connection with someone who wants him as himself.

Siya si Danielle, short for Daniella Marasigan Sandoval. Anak mayaman, kung kayat lahat ng gusto niya ay kanyang nakukuha. Sa katunayan siya ang nag isang anak ni Eduardo Sandovall, ang nagmamay ari ng pagawaan ng mamahaling sasakyan sa bansa. Maganda, mabait at higit sa lahat mapagmahal sa mga taong itinuturing siyang pamilya. Isa lang ang kulang sa kanyang buhay at ang pinakaasam asam niya, walang iba kundi ang atensiyon at pagmamahal ng kanyang ama. Lalaki kasi ang gusto ni Eduardo Sandoval na maging anak kung kayat sobra itong nadismaya ng babae ang lumabas noong manganak ang kanyang asawa na si Victoria Marasigan Sandoval. Muntik kasi itong mamatay nang ipanganak siya kung kayat hindi na siya nasundan o di kaya ay nagkaroon pa ng kapatid. Noong kabataan niya ay isa siyang prinsesa ngunit ng nagkaroon ng isip at nalaman ang dahilan kung bakit malayo ang loob sa kanya ng kanyang ama ay binago niya ang kanyang sarili. Mula sa magagandang bestida ay pinalitan niya ng maluluwang na t-shirts at jeans. Ang laruan niyang manika ay naging barilbarilan at ang pangarap niyang maging model ay naging taga kalikot ng makina ng mga sasakyan. Ang mga activities na kanyang sinasalihan ay para sa mga kalalakihan, kagaya ng karate, taekwando, shooting, motto cross, drag race at kung ano ano pa. Hindi naman iyon sinabi ng kanyang ama bagkus ay sarili niya itong pasya lalo na ng sabihin nito minsan na ayaw niya sa babaeng mahina kung kayat pati ang pagtatago ng emosyon ay praktisado na niya. Ngunit ang lahat ng kanyang effort ay tila hindi nakikita ng kanyang ama, bagkus ay bale wala ang lahat ng ito sa kanya.

Elsie Miller, just an ordinary girl that lived in ordinary life. Her life turned chaos when she accidentally bumped into a little girl that attached to her immediately after the incident.Dexter Anderson, the mafia king that lost his family and it turned him to a cold hearted, ruthless and heartless mafia-broken mafia. The only family left was his niece, Andrea Smith. He devoted all his love to his niece and willing to do anything to create a smile on her face and she was the cause he trampled into Elsie's world."You can't reject me. Once I decided what I want, no one can say no to me and you are included. I will make sure you come to me and say yes to my face. Mark my words.”"Haha. Very funny mister whatever you are. Let's see how you are going to make me say yes!”"Well, challenge accepted.” He cut off the line afterwards without giving me chance to argue back. Arrogant and rude. Now, it convinced me more that this was the right decision ever for rejected his offer.

What happens when young Bethel is made to get married to the Country's most popular richest idol? The country's pride? Who's actually a rude, annoying playboy and not ready to stay committed? What about the enemies? His step-brothers? The other female crushes? And his tiny little secret? It's all about Romance, Suspense and betrayal.