Funny Quotes Tv Shows Novels & Stories

The little sweetheart of a lady tottered down the aisle, faced the congregation, and said, "I outlived the buggers." Memorable Quotes "Scattered showers my ass!" Noah. "I have no problem with you talking to yourself as long as it doesn't turn into an argument" Woody Allen. "If at first you don't succeed try, try again. Then quit. There's no point being a damn fool about it." W.C.Fields. "The one thing that all porn stars have in common is a dread of filming the scenes that don't involve sex" Fanny Lightfoot (Porn Movie Director) "For every human problem, there is a solution that is simple, neat, and wrong." H. L. Mencken

“YEAH ! LET THE UNINVITED MOTHERFVCKER GET A TASTE OF ALL OUR ATTENTION AND LOVE” “KILL ! KILL ! KILL !” “BARBECUE HIS ASS, FVCKERS !!” “EVERYONE SHUT THE “HELL” UP ! SEE ? SEE ? WHAT I DID THERE ?” “YEAH SUCKER. YOU USED A PUN FOR THE FIRST TIME IN YOUR LIFE” “HELL NO ! I AM PUN LORD” “NO YOU ARE POOP LORD. THAT’S IT” “SHUT UP, GUYS ! YOU ARE BEING SO UNCOOL”

“It’s never early for anything as long as you want it.” “Nice quote. Where did you hear it from?” Asher asked me as he took a sip from the cup in his hands. “Would you believe me if I told you that I just made it up on the spot?” Asher stared at me for a few seconds before bursting into laughter, and I joined in, following suit. “That’s impressive.” “Thank you,” I replied, raising my glass towards him before taking a look around the place. “You look like you’ve got something you want to say, Lorenzo.”

Comedies fuel his sense of humor. I remember him forcing me to watch FRIENDS, BROOKLYN NINE NINE and BIG BANG THEORY on N*****x — and HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER too — but I told him it wasn’t really my cup of tea, so he gave up. I wasn’t able to talk much about the movie during the whole movie night session. There were some puns I didn’t get, but Jackson and Nelson always ended up cracking. I felt kinda left out but it was expected.

》》Jason Dutton《《 Jack and I burst into laughter at the epic fail we had just witnessed on the tv. Jack then started choking on popcorn. I gave him one hard slap on the back and his choking was replaced by a scream. Calvin burst into laughter at this as Jack threw cushions at me whileI died laughing. Just then my phone started ringing. "Boo! Don't pick it up!" Jack sulked. "Yeah it's interrupting our afternoon slash night chill session," Calvin added in agreement.

Roger replied as he tried to imitate Mae West as well. “Of all the fabulous Mae West quotes to pick from, you go with that?” Chris chuckled as she planted herself on the sofa next to him. “It’s the best I could come up with on such short notice,” he shrugged. I placed my elbows on my desk and held my face in the palms of my hands. “Tough day, honey?” Roger asked. “Every day’s a tough day,” I replied. “Our little Gertie found herself a new man,” Chris teased.

Gunner laughed and shook my shoulder, “See, you get it?” he laughed and pointed at the huge TV screen. “I get it” I chuckled, “Though, I feel like I should be weirded out that you were using quotes from a kids movie while I was sitting on your face?” I teased and elbowed his hip. Gunner purred and leaned down to press his lips to my ear, “Well, you know we can replay the scene, the one where you ride my face to infinity and beyond” he said softly with a seductive undertone.

About fifteen minutes into the drive, I asked, “Why so slow?” “Oh, I’m sorry. Do you feel the need, the need for… going faster?” I laughed so loudly I almost snorted and had to put both of my hands over my nose since even a baby like me recognizes the famous movie quote he almost said. “You’re a funny guy in an unassuming way.” He turned a slight shade of pink. “Yeah, well, in our line of work you have to find some way to be a little bit of a comedian, or you’ll end up in the loony bin.”

“If I choose the job, I obviously can’t go back to my mom, though?” It took her few seconds before she sighed. “Yeah, it makes sense. Sorry, I got it from p*******t and thought it was a cool quote.” I bite my lip to stop myself from laughing. But failed miserably as she made an eye contact with me. I cracked up to the point she throws the sofa cushion right onto my face. “Shut up.” “It’s a cool quote, though.” “Fuck off.”

I shook my head and went to sit across Audrey. She was laughing at the quotes on the wall. “These are hilarious,” she said, reading one aloud: ‘I don’t need you to brag about me, I just don’t want you to deny me in front of people. – FART!’ Her laughter burst out, filling the café. I just stared, completely captivated. Every laugh, every sparkle in her eyes, it was contagious. “Here’s another one!” she giggled. ‘What a life! Eggs every single day… eggs, eggs, eggs… Do you know who said that?’ Her eyes gleamed mischievously.