Funny Reading Quotes Novels & Stories

It's 11:30 pm. Home alone, I decide to order some takeout. When the map shows the delivery guy is zero miles away, I receive a call from him. I pick up, only to hear unsettling silence from the other end. I hang up, annoyed. The next moment, the guy texts me, "Sorry, I'm hearing-impaired and unable to speak. I called to notify you to pick up your food as soon as possible. I can't explain things over the phone, and I apologize for that." Then comes another text. "You must've been waiting for a long time. I've left your order at your door, so please pick it up as soon as you can." Just as I prepare to open the door, I see bars of live comments—reminiscent of livestream chats—floating right before my eyes. "Don't open the door! That dude isn't a delivery guy at all! He's a murderer!" "He called you to check if you're a woman living alone!" "Seriously, why are all thriller story protagonists always so dumb? The delivery guy is obviously suspicious, yet she still wants to open the door."

I quit and dipped. City threw a parade. Only Jenna Blake—my oh-so-gifted junior who claimed she could "see through killers' eyes"—lost it. At her celebration banquet, she went full drama queen: "I owe everything to Kate Mercer. Please, bring her back!" I laughed. Cold. Not happening. Last time around, I was the hotshot detective. But every clue I found? She dropped it first like she read my mind. People started saying I was washed. So I went all in—three months, no sleep, cracked a massive trafficking ring. Led the raid myself. She beat me there. Again. Place was cleaned out. Boom. She's the city's golden girl. I'm the clown with no game. Pressure got ugly. My head snapped. I died chasing the last scumbag. Then—bam. I woke up. Same day. Raid morning. Round two.

In a music competition show, my rival unexpectedly played the melody I had in my mind before I could. Shocked, I confronted her, asking why she plagiarized me. However, she turned the accusation against me and said, "You said I stole your work, but do you have any proof?" However, I was unable to provide any concrete evidence. Thus, I was labeled as a bully and a plagiarist, ultimately meeting a tragic end. Even in my final moments, I couldn't figure out how she managed to steal something from my mind. When I opened my eyes again, I found myself back on that same stage. Seeing that my rival was about to play her part, I stopped her and said, "This time, it's my turn to go first."

I'm the female protagonist of a spicy novel. One day, the system tosses me into an innocuous novel to be reformed. What a joke! I turn to the male protagonist. "Hi there. Want to make out?" He has me thrown behind bars and accuses me of molesting him. Much later, he does even naughtier things than the male protagonists in spicy novels do.

I was the biological daughter of the Stone Family. With my gossip-tracking system, I played the part of a meek, obedient girl on the surface, but underneath, I would strike hard when it counted. What I didn't realize was that someone could hear my every thought. "Even if you're our biological sister, Alicia is the only one we truly acknowledge. You need to understand your place," said my brothers. 'I must've broken a deal with the devil in a past life to end up in the Stone Family this time,' I figured. My brothers stopped dead in their tracks. "Alice is obedient, sensible, and loves everyone in this family. Don't stir up drama by trying to compete for attention." I couldn't help but think, 'Well, she's sensible enough to ruin everyone's lives and loves you all to the point of making me nauseous.' The brothers looked dumbfounded.

I'm the human who was adopted by a top-tier incubus. Austin Colton had just come of age, and he desperately needed a human to feed from. I volunteered once… and got completely shot down. I figured he must've hated me, so imagine my shock when I suddenly started hearing his inner thoughts instead. 'Don't ask me why I'm always burning up! Ugh…' 'Hey, quit playing with my tail, baby! Do you even know what that does? It's all swollen and tender…' 'Can't disturb Iris while she's studying. Tonight, I guess her pajamas will have to do.' 'What if I tell Iris the truth? That a first time with a top-tier incubus could drain half her life force? She'd run for the hills.' I was speechless.

My marriage to Caden Bradley was nothing more than a strategic alliance between two powerful families. For three years, our home has felt like a walk-in freezer. Convinced there was no room for me in his heart, I was ready to sign the divorce papers and walk away for good. Suddenly, the baby in my womb began to launch a relentless stream of telepathic commentary. [If Mom doesn't look at Dad soon, his eyes are actually going to fall out from staring at her!] [Dad tried to sneak a hand-hold last night, but when Mom moved, he was so startled he rolled right off the bed onto the floor. I’m dying here!] [They called it a marriage of convenience, but Dad is totally whipped. His lips are sealed shut, but his heart is burning to ashes. This is agonizing to watch!] My breath hitched. I whipped my head around only to collide with Caden’s deep, intense gaze. His entire body stiffened instantly, and though he tried to look away, his ears were burning a bright, tell-tale crimson. Had the Ice King melted? Fine. I’d put these divorce papers away for now. Let’s see exactly how long he could keep up this act.

My husband, Don Cassian, just survived an assassination attempt. He limped in, bleeding, and ordered me to stitch him up. But when I reached into his blood-soaked suit, my fingers brushed against something soft. Black lace panties. Not mine. My hand flew to my still-flat stomach. For our child. How could he do this to us? Ice flooded my veins. “We’re done, Cassian.” His gaze was heavy, exhausted. He gave a single, sharp nod. “Fine. I’ll have my lawyer draft the papers.” But then, a frantic little voice—one that wasn't mine—screamed from deep within my womb. [Mom, don’t leave him! Dad didn’t cheat! The family isn’t going to fall. It’s a setup!] [Oriana Gallo planned all of this! She wants your place! She put those panties in his pocket herself!] [If you leave, her men will grab you. They’ll take you to an abandoned warehouse and dump your body in Lake Michigan. Then she’ll play the grieving friend, comfort Dad, and become the new Mrs. Marino!] [Mom, I came back to stop this! Please, don’t fall for it again!] I snapped back to the present. Spinning around, I launched myself into Cassian's arms, my body wracked with sobs. “I was just trying to scare you! How could you agree so easily? Are you that tired of me?” I jabbed a finger at his chest, tears streaming down my face.

I always had a unique kind of mind-reading ability—I could hear the thoughts of people who didn't truly love me. On the night before my wedding, I suddenly heard my fiance's thoughts. 'If she shows up unexpectedly to disrupt the wedding tomorrow, will wearing leather shoes make it harder to escape?' I didn't say a word. The next day, without a second thought, I boarded a plane and left Chilia. In the end, that wedding, regarding a runaway bride and groom who never showed up, became the city's most infamous joke.

On my first day of work, I found myself face-to-face with the "Reaper", the infamously cold CEO, Silas Vance. I was paralyzed; he was the spitting image of Lucas Thorne, the treacherous ex who bankrupted me and left me for dead in my previous life. "Get out," he commanded, his voice cold. Just as I reached the door knob, a frantic, ecstatic voice erupted inside my head: [Holy crap! Is this my long-lost fiancee? She is a million times more stunning than her pictures! Is she already head-over-heels for me? Quick, I need to say something harsh to maintain my cool persona!] I freeze, the truth hitting me like a lightning bolt. He isn’t my ex. He’s the man my grandfather betrothed me to in childhood, whom I rejected in my previous life before falling prey to a swindler. Silas thought I was here to break off the engagement. Little did he know, I returned from the grave with a secret weapon: I could hear every one of his thoughts. 'Go ahead, Silas. Keep up the cold, untouchable act. With your heart screaming your secrets directly into my brain, I’m going to peel back those layers of yours one by one until you’re completely under my thumb. 'This time, the game is mine.'