Funny Sex Jokes Novels & Stories

She says and I roll my eyes. "Hey, Marcy. Do you smell that?" She asks and I look up from the packet of berries in my hand. "What?" I ask and Maya begins sniffing. The more she sniffs, the closer she gets to me. "I smell dick deprivation. Smells like.... like... Someone who hasn't had sex in weeks." She says, laughing and I roll my eyes. "Laugh while you can. Tonight, I'll get my fair share." "I hope it's quite fulfilling," Maya says and bursts into laughter at her joke.

From nowhere, a smack landed on my ass tore a terrified and startled gasp from my throat as I hastily whirled around to see a bunch of four guys who were guffawing their lungs off, like they had done something impossibly funny right now. Meanwhile what they had done was to harass me sexually, and there was nothing funny about that. “What the fuck is wrong with you?” I demanded angrily at who was definitely the culprit because he was the one gloating while his friends snickered on and on. “You look so damn sexy in that pair of shorts, couldn’t resist. Bet you’d fold so well when getting fucked, tiny thing that you are.” As soon as he was done, his friends laughed on and on like the biggest jo

He could not take me seriously, "Seriously Jenny, you and I know that it's when you are in a bad mood you enjoy sex the most. Or you have got another fucking buddy" "Damn you, you are too raw. It must not be about sex all the time. Have you ever asked me why I am this crazy about sex? No, you wouldn't ask because you don't care. If not for the great sex you claim I give you, you would not be here with your dick trying to poke out of your briefs,

Jake piped in and Nick burst into laughter. "What? Me? No!" Kai exclaimed. "Okay," Jake snorted. "You're just saying that because you're an asexual jerk who needs to get laid," Kai fired back. Jake raised his hands in mock surrender. "My sexuality has nothing do to with you being a womanizer, just saying." Nick was full on laughing by now and I couldn't help join him because his laugh was contagious. "Okay enough with the bickering," I said in between fits of laughter. "I can't take any more."

he said, crossing his arms. I laughed. “Soooo what? Our sex life is going to just be what? Me laying on my back? Or worse you behind me … mounting me,” I shouted, making quotes with my fingers. Mounting me, fucking hell, who says that?? He cocked his head to the side as if he was processing my words. “Sex is supposed to be fun and wild and spontaneous. Different positions, oral, all that. But it should be sweet sometimes too, like making love,” I said, huffing with my hands on my hips.

“That’s literally a normal thing.” She laughed softly at my bluntness. “I’m serious,” I continued. “You were an adult who slept with another adult. It’s not like you committed some unforgivable crime.” Clarisse shook her head in disbelief. “You really say whatever comes to your mind, huh?” “Because sex isn’t something people should be shamed for,” I said with a shrug. “It’s fun.” Her jaw dropped slightly before she burst out laughing. “You’re unbelievable.” “And addictive,” I added confidently.

The next thing they knew, they were bursting out laughing in the backroom of a club where they just had sex. Caspian would be so fúcking proud. * * * - - - - - To Be Continued - - - - -

I took the Whiskey down, head spinning now, room tilting a bit, as the laughter was echoing loud. Ryker on Kael, "Dare, ask Lange a mate question." Kael shook his head, "Nah, truth instead for me," but Ryker pushed, "Wuss, drink then." Kael sipped, muttering, "You guys are obsessed." Now it was my turn to question Jaxon, "Truth, why so many gay jokes?" He laughed, " 'Cause it's funny, and maybe I'm bi-curious, who knows?" Winking at me, but this stupid soso was tugging playfully she was so happy one of her mates just winked at her, and there was me snapping sarcastic, "Yeah, keep it in your pants, perv." Laughter exploded, but the buzz grew, my words slurring a tad, my wolf was already hazy

He emphasizes the last word, presumably for his friends' benefit and they nearly choke on their laughter, while the girls glare at me with barely concealed jealousy. "Shit mate, you're so lucky. Hate sex is like the hottest kind of sex." Adam chuckles from beside us, reminding me where I am and I break the hold Nathan has on my gaze, stepping away to put distance between us and curling my lip as I whip my head towards Adam. "As if you'd know anything about good sex. From what I've heard, you couldn't find a clit if you had a map." Instead of being offended, he looks smug.

“You!” “What?” I say, feigning innocence. “They can't be compared. This is spicy and food for my mouth but that one is thick and long and big. That's food for my depths baby,” she leaned in closely. “He fucks good.” “I didn't need to know that,” I almost wept. She laughed at my expression and it made me wonder if that was what sex did. Does it make people happy unnecessarily? “All I'm wondering is how you guys have sex and stay quiet. Don't you moan?”