Funny Sexual Jokes

Willa has been running for as long as she could remember along side her twin brother, West and her mother. Their Mother has always told them that a someone is after them. Life was difficult since their mother trained them to be ready for anything, even her death. Two years after their mom died, the twins luck has finally run out and they are captured but they are shocked to discover that it's their own father and brothers they've been running from. Now reunited, will the twins finally find happiness and family or will they end up being destroyed by their family's dark secret? With everyone hiding secrets, what is the truth? What is safe? The twins have only ever believed in their motto, Chaos not cash, maim not murder and each other. Can they trust anyone else and more importantly, should they?

The Alpha has an audience as she gives birth to a baby that smiles instead of cry. Her green eyes shine bright and didn't burn red like it should. Which means she has no wolf, unusual to their kind. "This is what happens when a female is Alpha. She bores a wofless child, who is of no use to us." Someone said, sparking murmurs all around the room. The news quickly spread throughout the pack, causing an uproar, with them asking for the Alpha's head. "It's you or the child." Hayley Blackwater yearned for a better life, never imagining she'd be the outcast. Or that The Alpha himself, Kane Wolfgang, would have an interest in her. Even though he seemed to always be there to save her, he was no saviour, only looking for sexual pleasure. But Fate has a sense of humour, Hayley and the Alpha are mates. But can Hayley bring herself to stay in a pack that hates her? Or will the Alpha reject her after learning her true nature? Follow Hayley as she goes from wolfless to the most powerful wolf and potential Luna. Will the pack and the Alpha accept her?

[18+] This story may contain mature themes such as profanity, drugs, violence, and sexual nature. Read at your own risk. *** Reiana Avy also known as Revy is the best at what she does when it comes to investigating a case of strange murdersㅡbut also the best at giving her superior a lot of trouble because she always does things by herself. One night, she infiltrates a shady nightclub to investigate her sister’s death and let herself get drugged. Soon, she woke up just to find herself in a theatre: what lies before her is an underground auction and she’s being presented as one of the goods. To her horror, the highest bidder is none other than the famous masked man; Crimsonㅡone of the world of crime’s most dangerous men. Revy expects to be killed or mistreated after being sold but for some strange reason, she’s taken to a penthouse where Crimson reveals his identity and proposes a deal to her that led to a contractual marriage.

Shane remembers every detail of their past lives, but Adea is the key to breaking the curse that has doomed them to tragic ends. In order for the curse to be broken, Adea must choose Shane and declare her love for him. As their fiery romance intensifies, Shane holds onto hope that Adea will choose him and break the curse. But their happiness is threatened when they are faced with the man who cursed them, and Adea must decide whether to give into her feelings for him or stay true to Shane. Now, Shane and Adea must race against time to find a way to break the curse that has haunted them for centuries. Can Adea resist the pull of the man who cursed them and choose Shane, or will their love be doomed to end in tragedy once again? Content Warning: Graphic sexual scenes. *Readers of TFA, please note that Chosen Mate is an alternate storyline for The Forbidden Alpha*

"Remember the most important rule, don't get caught." *** I try to keep my expression neutral and give nothing away in my eyes, Eli is a smart man, smarter than he lets on and will know if something is different about me, "Everyone change, Eli, you definitely aren't the man you were when we first met, but the question is if the change is for the better or the worse." His hand reaches over the table and take mine in the gloves and though there is a barrier between our hands his touch is felt and the reaction sent to the rest of my body. "I love you, Anna and that's not going to change, but I have to admit that I like this side of you more. However, I am contented with whatever I get as long as I get to have you." These words are the words any woman wants to hear their man tell them and it is almost perfect to my ears... almost because I am not Anna...

Sa edad na 32 ay hindi pa naranasan ni Andrea ang magkaroon ng boyfriend. In short, siya ay NBSB o No Boyfriend Since Birth. Hindi naman siya kapangitan ngunit napakailap ng pagkatataon sa kanya. May nagawa ba siyang malaking kasalanan sa kanyang past life? Sa edad niya ay hindi na siya umaasa pa na may lalaki na magmamahal sa kanya ngunit gusto niya na magkaroon ng kahit isang anak man lang. Puwede naman na magkaroon ng anak na walang asawa kaya naisip niya maghanap ng sperm donor. Hindi artificial insemination ang gagawin kundi natural method. Sa kalagitnaan ng paghahanap niya ay nakilala niya si Martin na isang guwapong bilyonaryo. Unang pumasok sa isip niya na perfect match ang binata para sa kanya ngunit ang problema lang ay hindi siya nito gusto. Mapapayag kaya ito ni Andrea sa nais niyang mangyari? Paano kung hindi? Itutuloy pa ba niya ang paghahanap ng sperm donor o ititigil na lang at tatanggapin na lang na kailanma'y hindi siya magkaroon ng asawa't anak?

Carla Simpson A CEO of a million-dollar company at age twenty. Her parents died when she was 12 years old. Kyler Jacobs a twenty-eight-year-old Billionaire falls in love with Carla at first sight. He arranges to be present at her meeting and what looked like intimate pictures of the couple went viral over the internet. Kyler’s mother fakes a heart attack to force him to marry Carla. The two fall in love, but many trials and tribulations come in between them will the couple survive, or will they call it quits?

Ethan is one of the least you could ever imagine was a full blooded werewolf. A clumsy ass, a nerd, a wimp, all about a loser, with many health problems. Also an orphan. He was never the bold type rather he was very shy and tends to play dumb. But what happens when he found his grandfather dead in house, heart ripped off? With pain and grief he tries to fight through, but he is struck down when he is been told the real truth about his origin, like it wasn't hard enough, he comes to know a lot more than he can take, crossing over to the werewolf world were he is forced to be an omega and rejected cause he was seen as weak. How ever all the werewolf race are endanger with the prophecy pending, the hero was already been prepared right from birth, at least the person the thought was their hero. But little did they know the moon goddess had her eyes on someone else, someone least expected. A nobody.But cause of some traumatic experience will the chosen one ever conquer his fear and finally let his werewolf speak or would betrayal and abuse quench the only hope of goddess Luna? or will another hero be chosen for the ultimate battle of the prophecy? only you can find out now! warnings. contain sexual assault, abuse of minor, disturbing scenes. for only those who are strong enough to go through that adventure! through pain and victory.

"Please, I am in pain." My pleas fell on deaf ears as his grip on my hair intensified. "I know you felt it too, the connection between us. I want to make one thing clear," he lowered his head and whispered into my ear, "Don't get any funny ideas. I can never mark you as my mate! You are a mere slave, and that is all you will be—a slave I can bed whenever I want." His finger trailed down my face and neck, pausing briefly at my bosom, which responded involuntarily. "Just like I will tonight," he snarled before releasing my hair. I immediately crumpled to the hard ground. Athena, an 18-year-old Omega, was offered to the cruel Alpha king by her stepfather, who cared nothing about her, in exchange for a debt he owed the king. Upon meeting the cruel Alpha king, Sebastian, they felt a connection that indicated they were each other's mate. The cruel king rejects her immediately and subjects her to his sexual pleasures. Torn and broken, Athena decides to flee the pack with her unborn child, as the cruel king's palace was not a fit place to raise her child. She vowed to give her baby all the love and care she was deprived of, even as a child, something it would never get from its father or his kingdom. What would happen when she falls right into the hands of a Lycan king in need of an heir? What would happen when Sabastain decides he wants her back? What would happen when she discovers a secret that would play a huge role in determining whether she lives or dies, one that has been hidden from her all her life? Find out in this thrilling werewolf romance novel, "Offered to the Cruel Alpha King."

"What about her?" Andre asked."Who?" I asked he motioned to a group of women specifically the one sitting down, I couldnt really see her because of the dim lights and the group of friends she had around her."No,""Why not?" Jason asked I took another sip before saying."She is sitting with her friends,""And?" Andre asked."Her friends are drunk,""And?" Jason asked confused."She is the only one with a beer and look at how she continuously checks her phone every five second,""And?""The beer isn't strong which means she is the designated driver her friends are drunk which means she has to leave soon, and the phone just shows that she would rather be anywhere but here, like she has much more important things to do. Which let's me know she probably won't give me the time of day because I'm not the most important thing in her life right now,""She is the one, she is the one you got to date"