Harry Potter Humour Novels & Stories

The whole comment section suddenly went off-topic, erupting into a huge fight about whether or not Harry was actually smart. Neither side was willing to back down. Meanwhile, Harry just sat there in silence. Couldn't they give him a break? Where did they get off acting like he was a total idiot?

“Heard you brought your little sister. Where is she? I owe her another driving lesson. Or can I teach her how crypto works?” “Over my dead body,” I said immediately. Harry grinned. “Relax, man. I’m a changed guy. Mostly.” His eyes found Shula across the room. “Damnit. She grew up. Her body looks fully developed.” I stepped into his line of sight. “Look at her again and you’ll be eating through a straw.” “Protective much?” But he put his hands up. “Fine, fine. Just saying hi.” Except he wasn't. He went straight for the bar to get drunk.

“How do you even come up with these things?” Harry grinned proudly, leaning back in his chair. “It’s a gift, really. I consider myself a prank prodigy.” “Prodigy or not, you’re going to get expelled one of these days,” Lucas said, his voice light but laced with warning. “And I'm not going to help you this time if anything happened.” “This time?!” I questioned and Harry snorted, shrugging his shoulders. Next, he waved Lucas off. “Nah, they love me. Besides, someone’s got to keep things interesting.”

Orion snorted, sending a spray of toothpaste into his beard. "Harriet, what kind of half-baked remark was that?" I shot her a dirty look. Harriet was losing her touch, if that's all she could come up with as an amusing comment. "You know, in Harry Potter, Harry could hear the snake moving around in the pipes." Harriet shook her head as she crossed her arms defensively. "I could hear you through the pipes. You guys were so loud I couldn't hear the echo of my own moans." I hopped to my feet and waddled over to the couch. I placed the back of my hand on Harriet's forehead. "No, you don't have a fever. Harriet, honey, I think that's the stupidest thing I have ever heard you say."

He then said “As I have your husband’s name, you should respect me like your husband. You shouldn’t shout at me even if I was irregular to college, if I get suspended or even if I bring girls to our house. Um... I mean to help me in my studies.” Ugh! Seriously Harry? What an idiot you are? “Oh really!” granny held Harry’s ear and pinched it. “Ouch! Grandpa your wife is killing me. Do something.” He shouted. Granny started laughing hearing his sentence. Harry smiled looking at her and said “I love to see you laughing, gran.” “But not here. Everyone will look at me like a mad one.” She said laughing. I smiled looking at them. Harry always tries to make everyone laugh despite of whatever the si

“Nah, I mean, what could be more interesting than a crime scene where the suspect flees because she heard a sound in the bush?” When I face her, she’s grinning. Sneaky bi-atch. I flip my middle finger at her and trot towards Harry, who’s only a few feet away, ignoring the teasing comments she’s still hurling my way. Harry, of course, is in full host mode, surrounded by students I barely recognize. About a dozen people laugh aloud at something he says, half of whom are probably just drunk enough to think this night is perfect. His hands move animatedly, and a louder row of laughter follows.

The chill drenched into my bones, and I shivered. Zack stood at the entrance, his smile sardonic. He clapped his hands, and the maids got the message. They grabbed the snow off the ground and made snowballs. Then they hurled the snowballs at us. The snowballs exploded the moment they came in contact with our skin. The chill seeped in worse than ever. This was humiliating. It almost felt like I was a toy. I struggled and thrashed around. "Stop! They're Wendy's parents!"

"I brought my ex with me” Harry incomprehensibly turns his head towards me. “Do you remember I told you I had never smelled a woman before ? That's because she's not giving off any scent”. Harry's eyebrows seem to have grown together over his forehead. “And that's because she's one of them. The witches”. I look down. Harry starts laughing. "What's so funny ?" “You've been with a girl who spends her free time killing guys like you? How the hell did you dare cheat on her ?”

"But I have to be there, after all I'm the Headmaster, my boy, you…" Before he could continue with his grand speech, he was interrupted by bouts of laughter coming from Lord Ravenclaw's entourage. The 'boy' himself was looking at him amused, and even the ghosts around them were chuckling. The Headmaster is not amused, and frowns at the laughter. "Did you understand the joke, Fred?" "I did not, George. And I thought that we were the castle's jokers.."

he said but obviously, Hari thought the other boy was joking and he thus didn't take him seriously. "Ha ha ha, hurt me? How? I know you aren't trained and you don't have any weapon on you. So, pray tell, how would you have hurt me? Or are you a witch and you wanted to abracadabra me?" He said while laughing and Ravi just shook his head. "Abd... abda... what?" Ravi asked all confused because he didn't understand what Hari said. "You know, Harry Potter?" Hari said expecting Ravi to understand but he still had that confused lost look.