Hilarious Jokes For Adults Clean

*Excerpt* My gaze met Sergio's. He didn't look away. I couldn't look away either. It felt like there was an invisible magnet pulling us towards each other. He looked away, breaking us from the trance. "Are you sure you're okay, Nicole?" "Come inside." He shook his head. "I was worried, and—" "Come inside, let's talk." He shook his head again, unyieldingly. "We're already talking." "Are you scared?" I asked in a challenging voice, my gazed fixed on him. "What are you so scared of?" "Nicole..." "To answer your question, no, Sergio, I'm not okay." "What's bothering you?" The vulnerability in his eyes towards me was palpable. It was my chance to act. I couldn't afford to waste it. "You," I replied, my gaze still boring into his. "And your fiancee. I couldn't bear watching you together." Sergio swallowed, his Adam's apple bobbing. "I was jealous, Sergio." • *Blurb* In a turn of events, Juliana bears witness to the brutal murder of her father—a sight she never thought she'd witness. Amidst the turmoil, she finds out she's their next target, but somehow, she manages to evade them. Determined to seek closure and justice for what happened to her father, Juliana takes on a new identity as Nicole and embarks on a quest for vengeance against the masterminds. With a heart hardened by grief, she takes on the journey. A journey that would test her limits and push her to do unthinkable things. Will she succeed? Follow her on this journey as she confronts the demon of her past.

Sabi nila kaakibat ng pagmamahal ang masaktan. Paano naman kung sobra-sobra nang sakit ang nararamdaman mo? Magmamahal ka pa rin ba? ... Si Maria Ingrid Natasha Garcia, o kilala sa tawag na 'Ming' ay head over heels ang pagmamahal sa kanyang boss kahit pa walking freezer ito. At kasing liwanag man ng ilaw na may kasintahan na ito, patuloy niya pa rin itong minamahal. Martir na kung martir. Pero hindi naman mapigilan ni Ming ang patuloy na pagkabaliw ng kanyang puso sa kanyang gwapings na amo. At sa gabi-gabi niyang pagdarasal narindi na ang diyos ng pag-ibig kaya pinagbigyan na ang panalangin nito. Sa wakas! nakuha nito ang atensyon ng kanyang amo. Kaya lang hindi rin pala ito magta-tagal dahil muling magbabalik ang unang babaeng nag-patibok sa puso ng kanyang Boss.

“Bow to me, Ember.” Alpha Thorne commanded, his voice low and sharp. She glared up at him. “I’d rather die.” His wolf demanded he take her, but she refused to kneel. The pull between them was dangerous and impossible to ignore. Taken from her pack and forced into servitude, Ember knows exactly who Alpha Thorne is, and she swore to hate him. But as the bond between them grows, one choice could destroy everything.

My brother was a twisted, paranoid psychopath. When I was ten, my parents were murdered. Both my legs broke off while I tried to save my brother. I became his only family and also Achilles’ heel. Those who mocked me as a crippled would have their bones broken, and anyone who tried to hurt me would be smashed into a pulp. As he reclaimed our family’s fortune, he became “the Devil” in Amberwater, a man no one dared to offend. Yet, he alone spoiled me like I was a little princess. Everyone knew that Lucas’s sister was untouchable. He had sent me abroad to receive the best treatment. The day that I could finally stand up again, I received an invitation to my brother’s engagement banquet. “Veronica, we’re going to have a new family member soon.” I heard that his fiancee was the daughter of a wealthy family. She was gentle and virtuous. I dressed beautifully to meet her and planned to give her the jade bracelet that my mother had left behind. However, she had me kidnapped and taken to an abandoned construction building. “You lowly little witch. I’ll rip that face of yours since you’re such a seductress. I’ll see how you’ll steal my man now!” She crushed my mother’s heirloom, broke all my limbs, and ripped my face off. Then, she ordered a dozen men to torment me to death. In the end, she stuffed me into a gift box and sent it to my brother. “Dearest, this is your wedding gift. Do you like it?”

Jonas Whitepaw has always felt a little different, and he has accepted people commenting on his size and teasingly calling him a pretty boy. For despite being a future Alpha, he isn’t big or burly. Luckily for him, his handsome face and charms more than make up for his lack of size, at least with the ladies. Without really being prepared, he is thrown into the job as Alpha when his father is killed by the feared rogue king Typhon Bloodclaw, also known as Cerberus. Pushed by the pack and especially the Beta, Jonas decides to go and negotiate alone with the rogues when they abduct 4 Young girls, one of them Jonas' baby sister. To his surprise, the rogue King is willing to let the girls go on one condition: Jonas takes their place. What does the rogue King want with Jonas? Will he abuse him like the young Alpha fears? And what is the weird feeling Jonas gets when he is near Typhon? He can’t be attracted to a man, or can he?

Elle Langford was once the most dedicated hardworking werewolf in her pack. She used to have many friends and was respected by all. They were her priority and she didn't even have time to look for her mate. Yet when she felt her bond with her mate break, everything turns awry in her world. The next thing she knew, she was pulled down from grace, marked as the pack slut, and banished from the place she once called home. Rules were set once they were accepted into another pack. Elle never saw the outside world again nor was she fortunate to have another mate. She watched as everyone in the pack mated, have pups, and lived happily in the pack. She was left with no mate or anyone to feel the spark with. However, what happens when her Alpha sent her to another territory for the first time on pack business? Will she be able to find another mate? Or is it true that her mate died? ~~~ Book 1: A Mate For The Latecomer Book 2: Rejecting Your Rejection Book 3: Lie To Me Alpha ~Unfollow My Heart~ Veronica

Ever since when he was young, Alexander would get glimpse of his past life. Every night he would get to see what his past life was. Sometimes in a form of dreams and sometimes in a form of nightmare. He would dream about a life he shared with his mate in his past life. He would dream about his tragic death . What will happen when he will meet that same omega in this life too? Will he be able to change their love story from tragic ending to happy ending?

"I'm Aiden Hart's secretary!" I shrieked over the phone. "Calm down, Charlie. It can't be that bad." I heard amusement in Emily's voice. My roommate's attitude did nothing to soothe my nerves. "It's not bad; it's a disaster!" I convinced. "I can't work for someone as hot as him! I can't breathe around him!" I might have been on the verge of a panic attack. I was supposed to work for his father, the well-respected sixty-eight-year-old Alexander Hart, not his youngest son! This wasn't what I agreed to! Less than a month ago, my dear friend died while working at Hart Global Corporation as the CEO's secretary. Now, I was about to replace her while investigating the truth behind her death. I thought I was prepared to enter the snake's nest, but I clearly underestimated the enemy… Aiden Hart was the purest embodiment of my sexual fantasies, and believe me, after four sexless years, I had more than too many of them twirling inside my brain. Every day, I found my boss more and more alluring, and I could only protect my weak heart by repeating my newly created mantra... "Don't fall for Mr. Hart... Don't fall for Mr. Hart... Don't fall for Mr. Hart."

Dylan Walker is one of New York city's richest businessmen. He has the reputation of being a ruthless businessman, and as hot as he is so is he arrogant, proud, and a full-time Casanova but not heartless though... His whole business carrier is at stake and the only thing that can save it is something he doesn't see himself doing. Getting married... Dylan turns to Lorraine, who isn't the regular woman he'll go for, she's beautiful and feisty with a voice men call 1-900 numbers to hear. Dylan offers her ten million dollars for a one-year contract. And there's nothing indecent about this proposal. The money will help with her family's bills. All Lorraine will need to do is keep her attraction to her new husband to herself and avoid his bed. But Dylan's toe-curling kisses and sexy charm prove too difficult for Lorraine to resist. It was a marriage contract that planned for everything...except falling in love.

(Mature contents for 18 years old or more) "I am not the holy woman that a man wants to marry. Too many men’s hands have touched me. I am dirty and unworthy to be beside you, much less to bear your child. I think the entire world will be against this. Sorry, I turn it down. Thank you for your offer, sir,” I replied in a trembling voice. It took just one day for Jennifer Swan to take a hundred and eighty degrees turn towards disaster. Her aunt sold her to a ruthless billionaire to make money for them and pay for her uncle’s cancer operation. But that evil billionaire put her in his famous brothel to be an escort. Several years later, she became a star and high-class escort that not all men can book without her will. One day, fate lead her to a new journey. A disabled billionaire came into her life, changed everything, and offer her a contract marriage. Since then, her life has turned three hundred and sixty degrees. Who is that disabled billionaire? Why he wants Jennifer so badly? How will Jennifer live next?