Hilarious Jokes For Adults Clean

On the eve of my engagement banquet, news broke that my fiancé had fathered a child with his mistress, and it spread like wildfire. Before I could confront him, Jayden Ford brushed it off casually. "It was just an accident. Focus on organizing the engagement banquet first. Besides, your dad’s in the late stages of stomach cancer. Calling off the engagement now won’t do either family any good." That night, he skipped the banquet but posted a photo of a swaddled newborn on social media. When I video-called him, he was bottle-feeding the baby. "I’ve been busy taking care of the kid. You know how it is. Our family lineage has always been sparse and dwindling, and the child takes priority." He wiped milk from the baby’s mouth. "But don’t worry. Once he’s a month old, I’ll send him to the overseas. Just show up on holidays and pretend to be his mom. The title of Mrs. Ford will always be yours." I stared at the matching diamond ring on his finger and couldn’t help but laugh. "Jayden, this engagement is off." He scoffed, "You're really throwing a tantrum over something like this? Don’t be so childish." I hung up on him and called his father—Charles Ford—directly. "I heard you’re looking for a new wife? Why not consider me?" I ran a hand over my belly and smiled. "After all, I’ve got a naturally fertile body. I can give you as many sons as you want." So much for being the sole heir. I’ll make sure he has plenty of brothers to keep him company.

Meet Hermione Hass, a college student who decides to look for a job to pay for her studies. When she meets Spencer Pawlan, a company owner who is terribly sexy, she sees him as a potential crush, knowing he's far too impossible for someone like her. However, Spencer harbors a very significant secret—why does he want more than one assistant close to him? Each of them shares something in common with Hermione. But by the time she realizes the terrible secret, it might already be too late. Do womanizers change? I think Hermione had found the answer.

I, Mona Goldheart, decide to tell my mate, Edmund Ryker, about my pregnancy on my birthday. But Edmund, who never misses my birthday, misses it this time. The reason he cited was that he had to attend a very important meeting. I don't believe it. When I rush over to his company, I see him holding a birthday party for Amy Drumm, the Omega he brought back to our pack not long ago. Watching as the two of them act so intimately, I contacted Edmund through our mind-link. I ask, "Is the meeting going well?" Edmund holds Amy in his arms, laughing happily. But when he replies to me, his tone is flat, as if he really is attending a meeting. He says, "It's going well. When I finish, I'll come back and celebrate your birthday." I sneer and reply, "Turn around and take a look."

Alexander Morrison doesn't love me, nor does he love our daughter. The only person he loves is his first love, Charlotte Clarke. To maintain his perfect image in Charlotte's eyes, he only allows our daughter to call him "Uncle Alex". This continues until Charlotte becomes pregnant and goes abroad to marry someone else. Alexander drinks himself into oblivion and finally decides to marry me. When he comes home, our daughter gives him 100 forgiveness coupons. I tell him that once those 100 coupons are used up, I'll take our daughter and leave him forever. He holds us both tightly in his arms, swearing he will never make us sad again. During the initial few years of our secret marriage, he indeed does exceptionally well, as not a single coupon is used. That is, until Charlotte returns to the country with her daughter. Every time he abandons me and our daughter for Charlotte and her child, I tear off one forgiveness coupon. Now, only three coupons remain.

" ahh , stop you're hurting me " , no no please stop, my stomach ,.. th..the baby please " she begged "Since when did an Alpha take orders from a mere human"? he said as he tore her dress open, revealing her white skin which already had hickeys in visible places ....Entering the car , she asked a question which she knew Peter had no answer to.." why me"? Getting to know about her sad health condition, Lara Hawthorne was devastated, coming home to meet her fiancee and think of plans to help ,she found him with her best friend, carrying his child as well Leaving her house and everything she had worked so hard for, she made a new decision, making her cross path with the most ruthless and powerful alpha king the whole less clans feared. Mistakenly carrying his child as well Just when she thought her life was over she fell into the hands of the ruthless John Crane Who thought she did all that on purpose and vowed to make life miserable for her What happens when they start exploring life together and their perspectives change and Crane sees the danger ahead?.

"Ikamamatay mo ba ang magpakasal sa akin? Ako ang babae, Caleb. Dapat ako ang maglulupasay sa sahig dahil pinipilit akong magpakasal sa taong hindi ko naman gusto."

Liam is a young selfmade multimillionaire who has never wanted a lasting relationship with a woman. All that matters is keeping his business stable. Then he meets Ariana, a sweet yet innocent girl. Despite the fact that their first meeting is not the most graceful one, she manages to drill into his heart slowly by slowly until he can't stay away from her. Pleasing a Billionaire is not easy, especially if he doesn't want anything to do with love or having a lasting relationship. Will Aria be able to convince him otherwise? Do you think Liam will adjust his preferences and end up letting Aria own his heart or will it only be for the pleasure?

*Excerpt* My gaze met Sergio's. He didn't look away. I couldn't look away either. It felt like there was an invisible magnet pulling us towards each other. He looked away, breaking us from the trance. "Are you sure you're okay, Nicole?" "Come inside." He shook his head. "I was worried, and—" "Come inside, let's talk." He shook his head again, unyieldingly. "We're already talking." "Are you scared?" I asked in a challenging voice, my gazed fixed on him. "What are you so scared of?" "Nicole..." "To answer your question, no, Sergio, I'm not okay." "What's bothering you?" The vulnerability in his eyes towards me was palpable. It was my chance to act. I couldn't afford to waste it. "You," I replied, my gaze still boring into his. "And your fiancee. I couldn't bear watching you together." Sergio swallowed, his Adam's apple bobbing. "I was jealous, Sergio." • *Blurb* In a turn of events, Juliana bears witness to the brutal murder of her father—a sight she never thought she'd witness. Amidst the turmoil, she finds out she's their next target, but somehow, she manages to evade them. Determined to seek closure and justice for what happened to her father, Juliana takes on a new identity as Nicole and embarks on a quest for vengeance against the masterminds. With a heart hardened by grief, she takes on the journey. A journey that would test her limits and push her to do unthinkable things. Will she succeed? Follow her on this journey as she confronts the demon of her past.

Dangerous Desires Book One. I, Zia Walker, take you, Xavier Luciano, to be my wedded husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part. I will honor you all the days of my life. 'And above all, I vow not to fall for you.' ~~ Trapped with the responsibility to my family, fate forced me to marry Xavier Luciano. He was the perfect solution to my problems, but there was only one condition he asked before promising me his ‘I do.’ “Don’t fall for me,” was his unbreakable rule. I laughed at him that day, thinking how easy it is to follow his stupid rule. I’m in love with my ex-fiance, his younger brother Calvin, so what could possibly go wrong? I agreed without hesitation, seeing him as the ticket out of my life’s predicament. Like a raging wave, the realization of my vow’s weight crashed on me. How can I fulfill my promise, when even in the darkness and danger that surrounds him, I’m hauled like a moth to a flame? How can I fight the slow burn of falling for my husband? The man I swore to cherish and adore, until death do us part, and the one my heart chose to love. ~~ [Mature Content] ~~ Follow me on lnstagram Castiel_Lj Cover by DobolyuV

From the ashes of a shattered life, Nicholas Cooper, once the embodiment of popularity, finds himself confined to a wheelchair, his world forever changed by a tragic accident. Transferred to Westview High School, he becomes the target of Andrew West, the ruthless leader of "The Bloodline," a bully group. Andrew West is the school’s feared and admired golden boy with secrets of his own. But everything starts to shift the day Nicholas catches a glimpse of Andrew's hidden life—and sketches it. What begins as a twisted game of power, pride, and revenge spirals into something neither of them expected: connection. Real, raw, and terrifying. As secrets are revealed and emotions ignite, a forbidden bond forms between the bullied and the bully. But in a world fueled by lies, pain, and dangerous debts, love might not be enough to save them. He was supposed to break him. Instead, he fell for him. But when the truth comes out, will love be enough—or will it drown them both?