Hilarious Jokes For Adults Clean

In my previous life, I had been suffering from a terminal illness when I won the lottery.  To my shock, Mommy advised me to forgo treatment and leave the winnings to my younger brother, David, to use for his marriage.  I refused to become an accessory to his future, so, behind my parents’ backs, I donated every bit of it to an orphanage.  When they found out, they were furious. They called me a heartless, ungrateful wretch.  After severing ties with me, they abandoned me at the hospital. On David's birthday, they gathered as a family and celebrated him while I was left to die in the hospital, utterly alone. When I opened my eyes again, I found myself back on the day I had won the lottery.  Recalling the pain and betrayal of my past life, I resolved to leave my parents that very day.  But to my surprise, when I returned home, they had completely changed.  They doted on me and showered me with affection.

I was the son of the wealthiest man in Capital City, but I had never enjoyed the flattery and fake smiles that came with that title. All I had ever wanted was a normal life. Now that I was pushing twenty-eight and still single, my mom finally lost her patience. She gave me an ultimatum: go on a blind date or she’d disown me. On my way to the date, I passed by a luxury boutique and spotted a watch that immediately caught my eye. I was just about to pay for it when, out of nowhere, a man barged in from behind and slapped a black card down on the counter. “I’ll take this watch. Wrap it up for me,” he said. I stayed calm and said politely, “Sir, I saw this watch first.” However, he just scoffed and snapped back, full of arrogance, “A broke nobody like you can look but not afford it. Get lost. I’m the assistant to Ms. Jackson, the CEO of Jackson Group. In this city, if I want something, no one will fight me for it.” Ms. Jackson? Isn’t that the exact woman I was supposed to be meeting for the blind date? Without another word, I pulled out my phone and dialed her number. “Selena,” I said calmly, “do you know your assistant is out here throwing your name around to bully people?”

He didn't love her but she became his Mrs. Jack. She couldn't interfere with his personal behavior and couldn't tell others that she was his wife. When his ex-girlfriend returned as promised, she handed him the divorce agreement, saying, "She's back, and I'm returning your freedom." But he just laughed and said, "Mrs. Jack, you even have our child. Where else do you want to go?"

On her wedding night, Rebecca Brown gets sent abroad by her new husband, Daniel Winston. On her return three years later, she's presented with a divorce agreement from her husband and a disownment agreement from her mother. Everyone is waiting to laugh at her, thinking she won't be able to survive living a poor life and will end up begging the Browns or shamelessly hound Daniel to take her back. However, it ends up with Daniel presenting himself pitifully before his ex-wife. He says, "Becca, when can we get remarried?"

I had no choice but to become the partner of a mafia boss with an incubus bloodline when his heat cycle began. To my surprise, Lionel Andrus and I got along better than I ever imagined. Every night, he held me close, craving more of me, as if we were made for each other. But right before we got our marriage license, my jealous sister, Tracy Rowe, tried to talk me out of it. "Incubi are born flirts," she warned. "How do you know you're his only woman? Once he's bored, he'll toss you aside." In my last life, I had believed her. I called off my engagement with Lionel and, through her introduction, married a "nice guy" named Jamie Stephenson. After we married, Jamie cheated on me and gave me STDs. Desperate, I went to Tracy's house to ask for help. She turned me away with disgust. "You couldn't control your husband and ended up sick, and you actually came asking me for money? How dare you! You have no self-respect. You don't deserve to be my sister!" Right then, she publicly cut ties with me. Even our parents sided with her, calling me a disgrace and refusing to let me step inside the house. In the end, I couldn't take the pain anymore and ended up hanging myself. When I opened my eyes again, I had returned to the very day Tracy told me not to marry Lionel.

I groan, leaning my body over his, resting my forehead against his shoulder. “Ride me, Angel.” He commands, panting, guiding my hips. “Put it in me, please…” I beg, biting his shoulder, trying to control the pleasurable sensation that's taking over my body more intensely than any orgasm I have felt alone. He's just rubbing his dick on me, and the sensation is better than any I've been able to provide on my own. “Shut up.” He says hoarsely, digging his finger even harder into my hips, guiding the way I ride on his lap quickly, sliding my wet entrance and causing my clit to rub against his hard-on. “Hah, Julian…” His name escapes with a loud moan, and he lifts my hips with extreme ease and pulls me down again, making a hollow sound that makes me bite my lips. I could feel how the tip of his dick dangerously met my entrance… Angelee decides to free herself and do whatever she wants, including losing her virginity after catching her boyfriend of four years sleeping with her best friend in his apartment. But who could be the best choice, if not her father's best friend, a successful man and a convicted bachelor? Julian is used to having flings and one-night stands. More than that, he has never been committed to anyone, or had his heart won over. And that would make him the best candidate… if he were willing to accept Angelee's request. However, she's determined to convince him, even if it means seducing him and messing with his head completely. … “Angelee?” He looks at me confused, maybe my expression is confused. But I just open my lips, saying slowly, “Julian, I want you to fuck me.” Rating: 18+

"Get this woman out of here; I don't want to see her face ever again!" With those words, the warmth I once saw in my husband's eyes has gone. ***** Faking her death, Clara decided to escape her city while pregnant. She chooses to leave everything about her billionaire husband, James Morgan, behind after realizing that the man she thought would eventually love her was only growing to hate her even more. But, what if fate reunites them again? Clara with her new successful life and James with his ex-lover who is now his wife. Strangely, seeing Clara with another man sparked jealousy he never knew he had, and James wanted her back. But will Clara be willing to return to his arms after all the pain he gave? And after being faced with the option to choose James' brother instead?

The stubborn Unica Hija – Stephanie Alicia Villamar meets a young colonel who is recognized as the most playboy guy in their town and supposedly her husband! The two had an agreement to not bother each other after the wedding since her husband's duty is to protect the country. Stephanie carried on with her life as usual, but her world turns upside down when her husband was transferred to their town. What could possibly go wrong between the pair if their marriage was only for convenience, and how long would they pretend?

For someone like Isabella Evans, a one night stand was never in the books. But her entire life changed on her wedding day, when she finds her husband-to-be, cheating with his secretary. After getting her heart broken, she retires to a bar where she sleeps with a stranger before leaving town the next day, only to discover in a few weeks, that she was pregnant. Seven years later, she had birthed twins for a man she was sure she would never see again, but fate brings her back to her hometown where she settles for a job with a very successful hotel. What happens when she finds out Leonardo, the most powerful billionaire in Norman is her boss, and even worse, that the reason her heart pounded each time she saw him was because he was the man she knew a few years back—the father of her kids. Even further complicating things was Colton, the man she was supposed to marry then. Now pursued by two men, Isabella is faced with the toughest decisions. When would Leonardo recognize her and in fact realize he has children of his own? How would Colton face such reality? And alas, who would she choose—the father of her kids, or her first love?

On the fateful day my asthma struck, Lucas was with his first love, Ariana, blissfully unaware of the storm brewing on the horizon.  He clutched my life-saving medicine, a lifeline that would soon slip through his fingers.  As I lay trapped in the shadows, I witnessed his desperation, his frantic calls echoing in the void when he discovered the shocking news of my pregnancy.  In that moment, everything changed. From that day forward, he became the guardian at my grave, a silent testament to a love that transcended even death.