Humor Quotes Funny

"All because you are incredibly attractive doesn't give you the right to be fucking pompous and arrogant." Red slapped her hand over her mouth but it was too late, the words were out. "You find me attractive Red." He stepped closer to her, real close. His mother and friend still watching them. "I..d..on't." She stammered. Daniel took her chin in his hand and lifted her face, "Don't even think of falling for me or getting attracted." His voice was harsh, "I am not your type and would never look your way." The slap that landed on his face wasn't expected. _______ She was the girl without a surname, a terrible con artist and also the infamous petty thief on New York streets. 21 year old Red decided to find a Job and change to be a better person, the moment she walked through those big wooden doors her life changed drastically plus the bonus of having the perfect boyfriend, Capri lorenzo. He was New York's most eligible bachelor with riches and looks to die for. Daniel Hart was a cold hearted boss who worked endlessly to keep up his perfect image. That Monday morning when she walked into his office looking like a tornado, he hated her. he knew he had to be rid of her before she ruined his life. They hated each other and all it took for their lives to change was one heartbreak, a kiss and a steamy night.

Book Two of Cruel Intentions Series. This book can be read as a stand-alone, but for better comprehension of the characters, it is recommended to be read after Betrayed the Mafia. Theodore is the second in command of the Irish mob in New York. He is known as a player, use and toss. Theo hates relationships seeing them as useless. Theodore is funny and lighthearted around his friends, but when dealing with business, he is ruthless and heartless. His cold heart always prevails. Theodore is manipulative and a great liar. Theodore is chosen to help forge an alliance between the Irish and the Americans. He needs to marry the daughter of the boss. He takes his job and position seriously and accepts his fate. He doesn’t believe in love anyway, so that nothing will change for him. He will just have to wear a ring and play house. What happens when she is the girl he has avoided for years, the girl he feels the need to protect? He sees her as a weakness. He condones how she lives her life, but the day he allows himself to get close to her, everything changes, and his addiction to her becomes impossible to resist. Theodore is everything Everly has always dreamed of as an online romance novel writer, and she is inexperienced and sassy. The only way she has experienced love is through her books. She lives almost in captivity because of who she is, and Her purity will be negotiable. But once Theodore pops her cherry, he can’t stay away, involving her in a thread of lies and manipulations that she could only imagine as a plot of one of her books.

Nagpakasal si Julliane sa edad na dalawang pu't taong gulang dahil sa isang sirkumtansya na nangyari sa kanyang pamilya. Hindi siya gusto ng lalaki na pinakasalan niya. At sa ikalawang araw ng kanilang kasal ay pinadala siya nito sa Amerika para doon magpatuloy ng pag-aaral. Pero muli siyang nagbalik sa Pilipinas makalipas ng tatlong taon dahil malubha na ang sakit ng kanyang ina. At may isa pa siyang gustong gawin, ito ay ang pirmahan ang annulment paper na nakahanda na agad sa unang pagkikita pa pa lang nila ng kanyang asawa. Pero nagtaka si Julliane, dahil hindi agad pinirmahan ng lalaki ang papeles, dahil dito ay naisip niya na baka may kaunting pag-asa sa kanya na sana ay matutunan rin siyang mahalin ng kanyang asawa.

"What happens when you meet a tall and handsome elf king who has saved your life but kill your temper?" ~*~*~*~ "I'm more of a man in this house. Why can't you let me be on top?" Sean asked with a pout. Oswin groaned, rolling his eyes and wondering just how much more innocent Sean could be. "It takes a heavy responsibility to be the top," he replied. "Responsibility? Then it's perfect. I'm making more money, cooking,..." "Sean. I'm talking about things like stretching and penetrating," Oswin explained as he ignored the bulge in his pants. "Do you even have experience?” “Then teach me, your majesty.” “With pleasure.” ~*~*~*~ It all starts when the elf king, Oswin Alvingham, mysteriously gets stuck in the human realm and loses his powers. As he roams the unfamiliar一dirty and low class if he is to describe Earth, he stumbles into Sean Cooper, a fresh graduate, and a full-time table-waiter, who gets bullied in the alley. Though Oswin's magical power is lost, his physical strength remains invincible. When he rescues Sean, the latter decides to take him in as gratitude. And that is where the mess begins. How can the king of the elf cope with his new life? How can Sean convince himself not to be evil enough to kick his savor out of his house? Most importantly, how do an average mortal and the noble upper-class immortal live together under the same roof and on the same bed? ~*~*~*~* P.S: 1) This book contains mature and explicit 18+ scenes. 2) It also contains little graphic violence in some chapters, but I'll put a warning on the top of those chapters. 3) The ELF here is inspired by Lord of The Ring Series. Therefore, they are tall, slender and beautiful. Not tiny little beings like in children fairy tales.]

SYNOPSIS My mind and heart were all over the place as I stared straight into his blue grayish eyes, this time not looking away. “What do you want Liz?" I gulped, “you.” ~ Lizzy Greene, a popular actress and heiress to a multimillionaire company attends the 'royal' high school. School for the rich and high status. What happens when the new hot guy expected at her school is actually her neighbor next door? Noah King, a handsome, egoistic, hot bad boy transfers to a new school and state far from home only to find out that the popular actress was his neighbor next door. The both of them both have their scars and secrets. With all the secrets in the open, will they be able to become more than just neighbors? Find out in this story of love, betrayal, heartbreak, secrets and friendship. cover made by; @maramartha picture found on Pinterest. Model: Danielle Campbelle photo credit: Dusman Kardesler

Unfortunately for some, Lucas Villareal, the devastatingly handsome and heir to a powerful business empire, is gay. But bound by the rigid terms of his inheritance, he’s left with no choice but to marry a woman, even if it’s only for show. That’s when fate brings him to Rhea. Once the cherished daughter of a renowned chef, Rhea’s world fell apart after a heartbreaking tragedy left her with nothing. Now struggling to get back on her feet, she finds herself at a crossroads when Lucas offers her a deal: a marriage of convenience that guarantees financial stability in exchange for pretending to be his wife. Will Rhea accept the unexpected proposal? What will she choose when her heart feels more than it should? And what happens when emotions, something neither of them planned for, begin to blur the lines of their arrangement?

[I found out Daniel Ortega, the notorious delinquent at my high school, is actually a cat-loving gentle soul. Now, it's time to use it against him to get what I want.] Things get a lot more exciting for Logan Smith, a 17-year-old student from Skyland high school, when he catches Daniel Ortega in a vulnerable state. Logan is a scholarship boy-a genius prodigy who is expected to get into the best college once he graduates. Daniel Ortega is seen as the walking terror in high school. He is rough around the edges, tattooed, tall and muscular, and rumored to be a complete psychopath. But underneath his scarred skin hides a big heart. Daniel, however, doesn't want anyone to find out about his soft heart. His reputation as a bad boy makes people leave him alone, and he intends to keep it that way. But the problem arises when Logan finds out his secret. He threatens to expose Daniel as a secretly nice person unless Daniel beats up one of Logan's bullies on his behalf. Daniel doesn't like violence, but he has no choice but to agree since he doesn't want to lose his reputation as the high school bad boy. The sooner Daniel beats up the bully, the sooner he can return to being a lone wolf. He wants nothing to do with him after, yet, Logan seems to be attracted to him like the moth to a flame, and Danny can't seem to get rid of him!

Hoy baboy! Tabatchoy! Piggy ,oinky. Itawag na sa akin lahat. WALA AKONG PAKI! Spell that out! 'E so what kung mataba ako. I'm beautiful and sexy. Sexy on my own way! Ako si Diozza. Diyosa ng ganda, diyosa ng kaseksihan. Diyosa ng kakapalan ng mukha! I'm confidently beautiful. So walang kokontra! Samahan niyo ako sa aking mundo. At ang paghahanap ko sa magiging prince charming ko

The moon goddess had a sense of humor for pairing Fiona with the devilish alpha behind all her struggles. Worst still, the devilish Alpha rejects her And just when she thinks her hopes of a fairytale love is crushed and she would live alone in her misery The powerful rival of her mate swoops into her life with sexy blue eyes and an unwavering interest and a burning passion for her. She is torn between the teeth of two powerful Alphas The one who refuses to claim her and the one who wants to consume her. But now Fiona has learned to fight dirty and would do anything to get the attention of her mate including getting her fingers into the deep and becoming a pawn for her so called mate. What she doesn't realize is that all along she is on the wrong side of the battle She is tangled in a steamy twist of betrayal, secrets, revenge, and love. With only one thing she on her mind; love. When the truth reveals can she forgive? Can true love triumph over revenge? And can one love the devil?

Don’t trust anyone, not even yourself….You think you know someone pretty well, until you’re awoken in the middle of the night to the sound of unfamiliar voices and realize your sister’s being swept away by some supernatural creatures who climb in and out of windows and leap from two-story houses like it’s nothing.My parents tried to tell me everything was fine, but when Cadence finally did come back from wherever they’d taken her, I knew there was something unusual about my older sister.Now, her best friend is dead.Her ex-boyfriend is acting bizarre.And I’m afraid I might be next.My name is Cassidy Findley, and I’m pretty sure my sister is a vampire, despite her “co-worker” making every effort to brainwash me into believing otherwise. With the help of my two best friends, we vow to get to the bottom of this before it’s too late, and my sister starts to claim other victims. I love her, but I won’t be turned, nor will I just sit by without doing everything I can to stop her. I can only hope that I’m not too late and that I can trust my own memories.Because I’m pretty sure my sister’s friends are coming for me next.The Chronicles of Cassidy is a retelling of The Clandestine Saga specifically for young adult/teen readers told from the perspective of high schooler Cassidy Findley.