I Cheated Myself Like I Knew I Would 소설 & 이야기

If I had not seen him toying with my car brakes in the past with my own eyes and heard how smugly he had laughed at my funeral with my own ears, I would have fallen for his act. The past was also repeating itself in this room. After the examinations ended, the class teacher, Nina Lee, had reported me for cheating. She had said my answers were identical to Dylan’s. When I looked at the two identical exam papers, I was unable to defend myself. In order to protect Dylan’s status as a top scholar and the Anderson family’s reputation, they sacrificed me without any hesitation. They forced me to admit that I had cheated and dropped out of school. In order to prevent me from telling the truth, they

he muttered, then turned and staggered out of the room like he couldn’t get away fast enough. I forced myself off the mattress, legs shaking, and peeled off the ruined shirt and bra as I walked. The second I stepped under the shower and twisted the knob, the tears came just as hard as the water. Hot, ugly sobs tore out of me. I was disgusting. I was no better than my husband. I had cheated. With a man almost half my age. I was pathetic, weak, vile.

She then ran away with that man and never returned to my life. As I witnessed how mommy broke her promise, it made me realize that she's been cheating on daddy even though he was still alive. That moment made me hate people who are cheating against people who only knew to give love and care to the deepest. But fuck this! This is effing crazy because I am one of the people that I hate most. “I hate myself! I hate myself,” I murmured. Mitch’s hand went to my shoulder, and I tapped it a few times. There's a smile on her face, and that smile made me feel that it's not too late to fix everything.

“I despise them. And when I found out—on the rare occasion—that I was with someone who wasn’t actually single like they claimed to be, I left. Immediately.” Kassian watches me, his expression unreadable, his fingers still stroking my hair. I swallow hard and press on. “I swear on my life, Kassian, I will never cheat on you.” My voice trembles, but my words are firm. “That part of me—the reckless, careless part—it ended three and a half years ago when I left. I’m not that person anymore. I—” I stop myself. Because I almost say something I shouldn’t.

I didn’t wαnt to be thαt guy. But I wαs still so fucking hαrd it hurt. I shut the smαll bαthroom door αnd grαbbed myself‚ stroking with the kind of frustrαted pressure thαt should’ve been enough. But it wαsn’t. It never fucking wαs. Not when it cαme to her. It felt like cheαting myself‚ like punishing my body with something fαke while αll it wαnted‚ whαt I wαnted‚ wαs her. Only her. And she didn’t even reαlize it.

I shivered and then scowled at my reflection. I pushed away the guilt and the deep stab of grief that cut through me. It wasn’t my fault he was a cheater. I couldn’t have known he was a cheater. Up until that point, it had been everything that I had needed. Memories of my younger self, carefree and full of passion, flashed before my eyes. Cheater or not, he’d brought that part of me out when I thought it was completely gone, so while he was despicable, I couldn’t completely regret the night.

Not because I cared—but because I wanted to recognize the enemy when he called. I stared at the screen for a long second, thumb hovering over the block button. Then I whispered under my breath: “Go to hell, Liam.” And pressed it. A sudden gust of wind kicked dust into the air, and I turned on my heel, marching back toward the site. Whatever Liam thought he had with me—whatever fantasy he was chasing in his pathetic little brain—it was dead. Buried. Burned to ash. Because Liam didn’t just cheat on me. He broke something in me I didn’t know could be fixed.

And an ache that didn’t know where to settle. But then, another image flashed in my head — tangled sheets, the sound of Damien’s breath, the warmth of his skin against mine. My throat tightened as the guilt rose within me. I wasn’t innocent either. I had cheated too. Maybe not intentionally, but still. While Theo was growing more distant, I’d let myself slip into someone else’s arms — someone I swore I hated. Someone who had already broken me once. I let out a quiet, bitter laugh. The sound startled me. Maybe that was the truth I’d refused to see all along.

Just the thought of him is making my insides burn with desire. I went back to my place in that state. In need of getting myself some release. I did something I never thought I would do again. I touched myself, my frustration grew even more when I can’t even get that big O. There is seriously something wrong with me. Poor Edward might have felt that way, that’s why he did what he did. I shouldn’t justify the actions of a cheating bastard like him. I shouldn’t question myself for something I have very little knowledge of.

I get off the bed, quickly put on some boxers, and check the rooms of the suite to see if she's still there, but she's already gone. What the hell did I do? I fucking cheated on Ella. Ella I open the mini fridge before pouring myself a glass of scotch. “Oh my..” I swear, slamming my glass down on the table. How could I do such a thing? How could I let my old demons take over?