I Got A Feeling That I Just Can't Erase Novels & Stories

"That easy for you? That simple?" Was I truly so forgettable? So replaceable? My gaze dropped to the ground, but it didn't help. The cobblestones blurred beneath my vision, my thoughts spiraling faster, darker, pulling me down into a vortex of anger and something else, something that felt dangerously close to grief. "You don't just get to do that, Zane," I said quietly, my voice steady despite the storm brewing beneath it. "You don't just… erase me. Pretend we never happened."

Nothing could erase her from my mind. My little mate—there was something about her that dug deep into my thoughts, like a stubborn burr that wouldn’t come loose no matter how hard I tried to shake it off. Honestly, it was driving me crazy. I severed the bond, for heaven’s sake! I felt it snap like a damn rubber band, and the pain that shot through me was pure, unfiltered agony. Ever since that moment, I’ve been stuck in this fog of confusion, questioning every decision that led me to cut her out of my life. Why did I even do it? That question has haunted me day and night, and I was still struggling to find an answer.

What would happen if I didn't go to that restaurant in the first place? I feel like I am drowning and there is no hope of being saved. The blackness of my memories starts to spread through my mind, clouding my thoughts and taking me back to places I never wanted to revisit. His voice, His face, His touches everything was coming back to me. I know I should hate him for what he has done to me but why can't I? Why can't I hate him? Why am I like this? He destroyed my trust in him and my self-esteem. Why did I meet him, why did I fall in love with him?

Felt something settle in my chest. Not peace. Not forgiveness. Just certainty. "I'm leaving," I said again.

** I don’t respond. But I don’t delete the message either. Because eight weeks suddenly feels like forever. And not nearly long enough.

She tried to convince me, but deep down I was not having any of it. I could not shake off the feeling that something is wrong; I just could not figure out what the cause of that feeling exactly. Still, I had no choice but to lean back on the couch, trying to get rid of the buzzing feeling going through my blood, no doubt the remnants of the poison.

"We are one, Snow. I can feel your pain because I myself am in pain as well." "I really don't want to feel this way, Eris, but for some reason I can't stop myself." At this moment, I'm not entirely clear on what I'm supposed to do and am feeling helpless. My mind is also pushing me to make decisions that I don't want to make. "Eris, I just want to escape once more."

Disturbing in a way I can’t quite explain. And for some reason— It lingers.

Nothing less, nothing more. "Really?" I asked with a smile. But no matter how I try to remind myself, the bitterness I'm feeling can't just be washed off. What the hell is wrong with me?

It doesn't feel like an observer anymore. It feels like a part of me. And I don't know if I can cut it out.