I Never Thought Of It That Way Novels & Stories

Even while my mind whispered I should never say never. ***

Basically shoving it in my face. ‘How long had it been like this'? I wondered, pitying myself for how foolish I was. I shook my head shoving the thought out of my mind. ‘It does not even matter anymore, let the games begin..’ I thought, looking at him with a smile…

A faint smear of lipstick near my collarbone No. Not lipstick. Too dark. I touch it. It doesn’t smear. Teeth. My breath leaves me slowly. This wasn’t gentle. This wasn’t soft. I was hungry. And I can’t remember a second of it. Anger starts to burn through the fog. Not at the marks. In the blank space in my head. I grip the sink harder. Think. I remember leaning against the bar. I remember someone stepping into my space without asking permission. “You look bored,” a voice had said.

I guess they understood that I had sorted out the issue I had been facing for a long time. Damn, why didn’t I think before? I lifted my lip from the side. **

Time seemed to have stood still. Zaine's big brown eyes are wide and they are looking at me with what I fear may be shock. What did I just say? Where did that idea even come from? Seriously now. That thought has never even crossed my mind before and then I blurt it out?! Maybe that coffee had not sobered me up as much as I had hoped. Either that or my brain was full on malfunctioning, because that has to be the craziest thing I think I may have said!

I just looked at him. And for the first time, a thought crossed my mind that I didn’t quite understand. This didn’t feel like coincidence. But I couldn’t explain why.

The word arrived on its own, unexamined, in the ordinary flow of a thought about traffic, and I did not have to argue with it or check it or ask myself whether I was allowed to use it. He asked if I was happy. I said I thought I was going to be. That we'd have to build it every day. He said obviously yes. Then I got in the car and drove back through the dark with a ring in my pocket, and somewhere on the highway I noticed that I'd been thinking of it as driving home for about twenty minutes without noticing. That was the answer. Right there. I just hadn't said it out loud yet.

but then I don't understand why I feel like I don't hate him even after he has done so much to much. The last two weeks when he was away, I felt like i missed him. What am I even thinking about . That is something that I should never think about . imagine who on this world can have interest in someone like me. That I don't believe. Why am I even thinking about liking and so on. I am supposed to only concentrate in making sure my mom gets all the treatment she needs. Now that my salary was a bit okay, I just had to concentrate on working hard for him so that he doesn't get any second thoughts of chasing me away from the work.

“Thеrе wаѕ thаt аѕ wеll, Iz, guуѕ have a dіffеrеnt way of еxрrеѕѕіng thеmѕеlvеѕ. Truѕt me whеn I say wе dоn’t аlwауѕ gеt it right, ѕоmеtіmеѕ thе thіng wе еnvіѕіоn іn our hеаd dоеѕn’t асtuаllу mаtсh the оutсоmе.” I ѕnоrtеd. “You gоt that rіght. But in mу hеаd I nеvеr thоught уоu wоuld еvеn look at mе thаt wау, you had the сhоісе оf whоеvеr you wаntеd at school аnd bоу did уоu uѕе that tо уоur advantage.” That wа ѕ an understatement.

Well, it's crazy how that didn't even cross my mind. Who knows, maybe I was losing my mind or I had completely lost it...