Its Not Funny Novels & Stories

"Shut the fuck up. You love my laugh." FYI it's not a donkey laugh. I like to think that I laugh like a normal person. "Yeah I fucking do."

I say this as I sip on my juice. “Yeah? So we, I guess, then buy our coffins and dig our graves before we leave this house, right?” Huh! Can you listen to this girl? I am here saying, and I have it embedded in every being and sense of me, that I am not letting these people hurt me, even just a little. My only friends are already envisioning corpses? “Will you just stop? Your joke isn't funny at all." I state.

The question sat between them. Adrian laughed. It wasn't a real laugh, nothing close to humor in it. It came out once, rough and wrong, and died just as quickly. “Why is that funny?” she said, and her voice shook. “It's not funny.” He dragged a hand down his face. “It's not funny. It's just... God, Ava.” “Then answer me.” He looked at her for a long moment. His shoulders dropped. “I've spent half my life loving you.”

“It’s not funny.” She looks so shocked as I scowl another, and it’s about time. It’s about time I let her know she’s being a fucking asshole. “It’s a fucking joke, alright?” She sighs like I’m the unreasonable one. “I’m serious, I want to know. If it’s a big deal for you, it’s a big deal for me.” If only that were true. That’s never been true. I shrug, and why not? She’s the best I’ve got.

“That’s not funny.” “It was a little funny,” he said, clearly enjoying my discomfort. “Gloss.” I ran a hand through my hair, forcing composure. “That’s inappropriate.” He tilted his head, eyes sparkling with mischief. “What? Joking? Or the fact that you almost did it?”

Then burst into a guffaw. "Oh, Man. Don't be serious. It's not any film but real life. Come out of your filmy and reel life to real life. Don't tell me someone tried to kill me, that's why I'm in such a condition." Susanna was still laughing but there was no sign of lightness in his face. He was looking deadly serious and his jaw was tight and firm.

Almost. Just that I do not laugh. Humor is not something I recognize even if it smacks me right in the face. I learnt early that I do not have a good sense of humor, as while I don’t have time for jokes, I used to laugh at the oddest hours, mostly when there is something as a serious as death on the line. That was weird. I know, and didn’t need anyone to tell me. So I stopped laughing all together. “It’s a ten minutes’ walk.”

“ Now that you know, it feels less lonely.” “ We have to try and get you treated…” He cackled and shut his lips, subduing a laugh. I stared at him puzzledly. There is nothing funny about what he's going through. “ You think it's funny that you are dying?” He shook his head. “ The fact that you think that a remedy will jump down from the sky for my own sake, meanwhile you haven't spoken about yours…son. That is funny.” “ You can't give up just yet.”

"Shut up, Elissa. Nothing happened to me or to King Jackob. He just told me about a very beautiful past, nothing else happened between us. More than that, I'm also reluctant to discuss all the things that really shouldn't be discussed. So I feel this is an unfounded question that really has no weight at all. So I hope you stop saying anything, otherwise I will really make you regret asking about that king.” Elissa actually laughed at my answer, as if my answer was something very funny to her. This is what is so very annoying, I glared at Elissa, Elissa laughed out loud again. Really, this is something that is not funny at all, but how can my best friend laugh at you in such a very annoying w

“Don’t you mean fangtastic?” “I most assuredly do not.” His face was now stern. I rolled my eyes. “OK, got it. Dick jokes are OK but vampire jokes are not. Touchy much?” His mouth was drawn in a thin line “Funny jokes are acceptable. Others should be met with the derision they deserve.” There was a pregnant pause and all silly jokes and puns rushed out of my head, so I settled for rolling my eyes at him as I jumped off the bar stool instead. “Do you have anyone you need to let know you’ll be away?” he asked