Its Not Funny

Kristen Sterling bounces back after a rough past, landing a job where she reunites with the CEO, Marcus Everhart, who once rescued her. Things get wild when they attend an engagement party, only for Kristen to realize it's her ex and best friend tying the knot. Marcus offers her a marriage deal to shield her from her troubling ex, suggesting to turn their fake marriage into a revenge plot, giving Kristen a chance to face her past.

🔞 WARNING ⚠️ THIS BOOK CONTAINS EXPLICIT SEXUAL SCENES NOT SUITABLE FOR UNDER 18! “I gave him everything,” Naya whispered, staring at the papers in her hand. The divorce papers she never saw coming. Her hands trembled, but not from fear. Now, it was rage. Across the room, Chloe smirked, her hand resting on Daniel’s shoulder. “You should’ve seen this coming, Naya. You were never enough for him.”

When I went to reissue my mate certificate, the Werewolf Affairs Division told me, "Your mate certificate is a forgery. We have no record of your registration." I stared at the clerk, unable to believe what I was hearing. "But Sam and I registered five years ago. That's impossible. Could you please check again?" The clerk gave me a look before double-checking the files. "We found Alpha Sam's record. But the registered mate… isn't you." My voice trembled. "Then who is Sam's legal mate?" The clerk didn't hesitate. "Lily." I gripped the back of the chair, white-knuckled, just to keep myself upright. Until the clerk had spoken that name, I'd still held on to hope. Maybe it was a clerical error. A mix-up. But of all people, it had to be Lily, Sam's childhood friend. And suddenly, everything started to make sense. In five years of being Sam's mate, he had never marked me. We'd only held a mating ceremony—no certificate, no legal bond. I had given up everything for that ceremony, poured all my hope and love into it, believing I was his, only to find the certificate was fake. The five years I'd thought were mine—our happiness—had all been a lie, crafted and upheld by appearances. If none of it was truly mine, then there's only one thing left for me to do. Leave.

Part 1 - Fated Mistake: Kira and Arkyn As the daughter of Alpha Kai, Kira knew not to doubt what the Goddess had already carved in stone. A Fated mafia marriage of alliance in play to strengthen the packs. It should have been easy, right? Then why was it so damn hard? Alpha Fenriz's son, Arkyn Vega, made her question everything she thought she knew... Everything that should have never been doubtful in the first place. The Goddess chose her mate, so why does she still feel this way about Arkyn? Why does she still crave the touch of a man who is supposed to be her best friend? When her mate takes the Volkov pack hostage, it forces Kira to pick sides. Does she follow fate and remain at her mate's side, or trust the one she has an unbreakable bond with? Did the Goddess make a fatal mistake? ---------- Part 2 - Fated Desire: Kaia and Elijah Elijah Priest and Kaia Volkova thought their lust-filled tryst was a one-time thing, especially after they found out that Kaia was to marry Arkyn Vega. It didn't matter that they were attracted to one another; it didn't matter that it turned out Kaia was actually Arkyn's family.  It also didn't matter that their one-time thing turned into a continuous thing. It was just sex, right? Or so Elijah thought. Seeing Kaia meet her mate at the Convergence Ball leads him to realize that he's actually in love with the woman who lit a fire in his soul. What happens when he finds out Kaia cannot bond with her mate because of a mistaken bite he left in the middle of a sex-filled haze? Even more so, her bite didn't kill him and his blood didn't kill her... Can a vampire and a werewolf truly be mates?

Marcello believed his life is perfect, he got a perfect job, a perfect wife, perfect house. What more could he ask for? Marc knew he had gotten everything good in life, Little did he know this was just the beginning of his mystery, an exodus of his his life shattering into tiny pieces. His only mistake was that he had come home early, too early.

On the eve of my engagement banquet, news broke that my fiancé had fathered a child with his mistress, and it spread like wildfire. Before I could confront him, Jayden Ford brushed it off casually. "It was just an accident. Focus on organizing the engagement banquet first. Besides, your dad’s in the late stages of stomach cancer. Calling off the engagement now won’t do either family any good." That night, he skipped the banquet but posted a photo of a swaddled newborn on social media. When I video-called him, he was bottle-feeding the baby. "I’ve been busy taking care of the kid. You know how it is. Our family lineage has always been sparse and dwindling, and the child takes priority." He wiped milk from the baby’s mouth. "But don’t worry. Once he’s a month old, I’ll send him to the overseas. Just show up on holidays and pretend to be his mom. The title of Mrs. Ford will always be yours." I stared at the matching diamond ring on his finger and couldn’t help but laugh. "Jayden, this engagement is off." He scoffed, "You're really throwing a tantrum over something like this? Don’t be so childish." I hung up on him and called his father—Charles Ford—directly. "I heard you’re looking for a new wife? Why not consider me?" I ran a hand over my belly and smiled. "After all, I’ve got a naturally fertile body. I can give you as many sons as you want." So much for being the sole heir. I’ll make sure he has plenty of brothers to keep him company.

A week before the wedding, my fiancé, Luke Graham, announced that he needed to marry his first love, Mandy Lynch, before marrying me. “It’s because her mother passed away,” he explained, “and her dying wish was to see Mandy married to a good man. I’m just fulfilling an elder’s final request. Don’t overthink it.” But the company had already planned to launch the “True Love” jewelry line on the day of our grand wedding. Impatiently, he dismissed my concerns: “It’s just a few million. Does that compare to Mandy’s love for her mother? If you’re so eager to make those millions, go find someone else to marry.” Hearing his cold and heartless words, I understood everything. Without another word, I turned and dialled my family. “Brother, help me find a new groom.”

Seven years into our marriage, I went to the hospital as usual to bring Jason Gunn lunch. But as I stood outside his office, I overheard his colleagues teasing him about a patient, calling her his girlfriend. To my shock, Jason didn't deny it—he simply smiled and allowed it. I placed the lunchbox down and turned to leave. He rushed after me, angrily accusing me of being unreasonable. "Zara is just a patient, someone who had surgery. She can't be stressed out. I'm a doctor! Can't you, as my wife, understand that?" In the past, I would have exploded, causing a scene and making the entire hospital chaotic. But now, I didn't care anymore.

Charles Dickson will transfer five million dollars to me every time he cheats. After three years of being together, I've saved enough money to last a lifetime. This time, he transfers ten million dollars to me. I immediately pack my things and make a run for it when I see the money in my account. By the time he tracks me down, I've started a career as a teacher. He looks disdainful. "Enough of this nonsense. What can you teach them?" I run my mouth. "I'm using my experience to teach young women how to find a rich, generous husband who's always away from home, of course!" That strikes a nerve. His eyes turn red with rage as he snaps, "Am I nothing but a teaching tool to you, Chloe?" "Of course not!" I say. Before he can feel pleased, I continue, "At most, you're a failed specimen because you always come home…"

Before my boyfriend, August Cadwell, marked me, we went to register our mate bond at the Pack Affairs Department. Without a word of explanation, he unexpectedly had someone throw me out of the office. Then he walked in with his childhood sweetheart. He didn’t even blink when he saw me sitting there on the ground, shaking with disbelief. "Hailey's pup needs to be part of the Aurelis pack. The best and quickest method is for her to register a mate bond with a werewolf from the Aurelis pack. As soon as we sever the mate bond, I'll form a mate bond with you." Everyone assumed the lovesick version of me would wait just one more month for him. After all, I'd already waited seven long years. But that night, I did something unexpected too. I accepted my parents' arranged mate bond and quietly left for the Lymerian pack, disappearing from his life entirely. Three years later, I returned to my original pack to visit my family. My mate, Ryder Weyland, was now the lycan chairman. Because of an urgent council meeting, he arranged for someone to collect me from the airport. I never imagined that “someone” would be August. The moment he spotted me, his eyes immediately landed on the sparkling bracelet on my wrist. "Isn't this a knockoff of the bracelet Ryder Weyland, the lycan chairman, spent two million dollars on for his mate? Didn't expect you to turn this vain after just a few years. "You've caused enough chaos, haven't you? It's time to return. Hailey's pup is now of school age. You can take on the responsibility of pick-ups and drop-offs." I gently ran my fingers over the bracelet on my wrist. Little did he know that this was the cheapest one Ryder had ever given me.