Kickass Humor

"Vee bumangon ka muna! Ipapakilala ko sayo iyong bago mong bodyguard." Kahit inaantok pa ay bumangon ako at bagot na tinignan si Daddy. "What? Bodyguard na naman! Ayoko na nga ng ganyan eh! Nakakasawa na--" napahinto ako sa pagsasalita ng may lalaking pumasok sa kwarto ko. "Sino siya?" "Vee meet your new bodyguard, James Villianuevva." "Ito? New bodyguard ko? Seryoso ka dad?" "Yes, and I am sure magugustuhan mo siya. Magkakasundo kayo sa mga bagay-bagay, lalo na kung mag sho-shopping ka at pagdating sa mga makeup--" "Babae lang ang mahilig mag shopping at mag makeup dad." Saad ko at napatampal sa noo ko. "I'm gay." Muntik ng malaglag iyong panga ko sa sinabi niya.

"You heard me, Damon Jones," I replied after a few seconds of silence that was honoured with his confused gaze. "I want us to be together. I want us to have sizzling moments that only you and I would know about. I want us to hold each other, and sweaty as our needs grow. Not once, not twice, but for as long as possible." I surprised myself with the tone of my voice. His hands on his waist, the man scoffed. It was a loud one. After a few seconds of making his feet dance in the very spot he stood, he faced me, the tip of histongue probing the flesh of his upper lip. That was a nice sight. It made my eyes linger on his lips longer than I intended. As my eyes quickly traveled to his wet shirt which exposed the nudity that I keep wondering about, he said, "You must be out of your mind, Selena." ~ In life, mistakes happen. A mistake like taking the wrong file instead of the file that contains your CV and other important documents a job seeker needs to have. But, there's no going back because you have a great job opportunity right in front of you. An opportunity that could vanish before anyone can complete the words, Jack Robinson. And, mistakes can lead to a lot of things. Things you could never imagine would happen in even five lifetimes to come. Like making a dangerous deal with a Mafia Queen... [Mature scenes inclusive]

“You're so cold. My strawberry milk needs ice,” Ruelle says, sitting on Killian and wrapping her legs around him making his anger vanish immediately. Killian stared down at the female currently staring up at him with a smile on her face. ‘I would destroy everyone that made her cry’ He vowed to himself. |Killian| The crippled ice-cold Billionaire who only smiles at his wife. |Ruelle| The neglected daughter of a second-grade family. Both are fueled by their anger and thirst for revenge. What would happen when these two are forced into marriage with each other? When fire meets Ice and love clashes with hate.

"Well, well, well," He said, his voice low with a hint of both playfulness and danger in it. I know I am caught like a deer in the headlight but still I did not came out, holding onto a little hope that is crushed long ago. "What do we have here?" His voice was demanding and threatening, forcing my feets to move on their own to come out of the shadows. -- Kirill Volkov, is a 25 years old russian heartthrob with many dark little secrets. His hands are stained with the blood of people whoever discovered his little secret and he never batted another glance to the lifeless bodies he left behind. He is the perfect definition of an emotionless, quiet, arrogant and an inhumane human. Aleeza Aria Russo, is a 23 year old elegant Italian beauty with the dreams of living a life that have nothing to do with her previous one. She wants to taste the freedom in her mouth, not only on the tip of her tongue. But she did not realised she was loosing everything she always wanted while she got involved with Kirill, without even knowing the truth he hides. Aleeza does not realise the pressure and betrayal, Kirill, is going to crush her with, which will leave her with nothing but scars. Happy Reading!

After nearly losing her sanity at the hands of her first love, Alexandra vowed to never fall in love again. Four years had passed since the horrible incident, and yet those memories haunted her like a vengeful ghost. Following her grandfather's death, Alexandra is forced to come back and take revenge on the people who destroyed her in the past. Her grandfather's will bound her to a man she did not love, but he loves her so much he would grant her all her unfulfilled dreams. He determined to love her and cherish her properly this time. Will Alexandra give herself a second chance to fall in love? Or will she continue to dwell in her dark past? __________________________ (The following book contains mature content and talks about mental illnesses. This book is recommended for 18+. Contains Violence, SA, rape)

Skylar's world shattered in a single, drunken night. Not once, but twice, her destined mate rejected her – or so she thought. Blinded by the sting of betrayal, she made a reckless choice that left her pregnant and ostracized. Branded a harlot, she fled, vowing to build a new life. Years later, Skylar returns and she is no longer the scared girl but an elegant and powerful woman, with a secret tucked away in the form of adorable twins. But fate, it seems, has a twisted sense of humor when she meets the man who ignites a familiar spark in her.  He's the spitting image of her past. Except, there's a shocking truth – they're twins.

“I trusted you!” Zachary yelled angrily his hands curled into fists at the revelation that he just got. "Is this is how you repay me?!” “I never told you to trust me." “Do you honestly think that I will let you get away with this?" Zach looked at the woman furiously. “Well, you’ll be disappointed." He took long steps towards her threateningly and held both hands, pushing her towards the wall hardly. “Do you think I'll let you get away from this?” Alex looked at him hardly, their faces close to each other, mouths almost touching. “Because I won’t.” Zach then pressed his mouth on hers in a hard and hungry kiss, giving in to the demands of his body that's been eating him for a while. Zachary Montgomery, 36, is a hard-working FBI agent, who works in counterterrorism, instead with the big law firm that his family had for generations. He is a man with goals and conviction. Alexandra Walters is a 27-year-old diner co-owner with her aunt and her wheelchair-bound younger sister. She turned her back on the thrilling and fast-paced life she once had. When Alexandra met Zachary over an incident that she believes has something to do with the case she abandoned, she forced her way in, despite his resistance and persistence in pushing her away and keeping her away from the case. Covering up their attraction towards each other, Zachary will do anything to keep her away for her safety while Alexandra made a vow to herself that she will get the information she needs to finally close the case that has been haunting her. Even if it means, seducing Zachary Montgomery to her bed.

I beg to differ that.", I sassed and got out of his grip ready to move out of the room when he pulled me by my elbow and the next second I was pushed on the visitor's chair. He trapped me completely by keeping his palms on the arms of the chair. "I tried to tell you patiently.", I scoffed at his words. Patience and he don't go in a single sentence. He gripped my chin making me look into his eyes."Now listen carefully Miss, I want you for my niece as her babysitter. Tell me how much you'll take and we can seal the deal." This time it was me who blinked once, twice and thrice. "But I don't want to work for you." See the reason was absolutely clear. I liked the kid since the moment I met her but I hated this man from the moment I gazed into his eyes. "How much?" I frowned."You really think your money can make everyone dance on your tips?" "1200 dollars a week." I rolled my eyes making him lean towards me." 1500?" "Make it 15000 and still I won't work for you.", I retorted and pushed him. I walked to the door and gave him one glance."Next time when you talk to me, make sure you keep all your richness aside. That's one thing that I never want to see you again, you self-centred CEO." "We shall see." . . . Brave but lonely. Passionate but sensitive. That's Arielle Summers. For everyone, Money, Assets and happiness may be supreme but to her, self-respect is prime. Cold and reckless. Commanding and ruthless. That was Nicolas Arnold. He only cared for his niece, his Mama and his friends. Love life didn't exist until- she came into the picture.

She gave him her heart and he crushed it to pieces. If chasing love was a crime, she'd spend countless years in jail. Haley gave her whole to William Nash, sacrificing everything she had, with his happiness her only goal. His indifference never bothered her, until one night, he told her the coldest words. “Haley Nash, don't overstep your limits. I'll never have children with you. Don't forget how you plotted to marry me in the first place!” To him, all her action was a pretentious lie. Stuck in his past relationship with his Ex, he'd rather be with a woman who resembled his Ex than cherish his wife. His betrayal was the last straw. Haley let go, gathering the broken pieces of her heart. However, When she disappeared from his life, his once vibrant home, boasting of love, turned into a graveyard, and a deep scar he never knew existed opened up in his heart. Damnit! Did he mess up?

Alexandra 'The Duchess' Madden grew up loving MC life. She thrived on the danger, the closeness, the idea of playing on the wrong side of the law. What she didn't love, was being shut out of business and being denied being heir to the club due to the crime of having a vagina. Moving away with her closest friend, they went solo, and the Valkyrie MC was born. In all the hub bub when she was younger, the Duchess lost her chance at true happiness with Neil 'Ghost' Whitlock. When he reappears nearly ten years later as the second in command for a club she is allied with, it's like they never separated. Now, though. She's the ruthless boss of what is easily accepted as one of the most dangerous clubs in the country, and that means she has enemies, enemies that would love to take advantage of her being attached to someone. Can they get through it together? Or will her enemies manage to tear them apart?