Kickass Humor Novels & Stories

“I know you’re lying, but it’s scary how much that could be true. Fuck, you’re a bitch.” I laughed, enjoying torturing my future ex-husband. “Don’t worry. I didn’t stick a needle into your balls. I'm pretty sure you would wake up from that, even if you were as drunk as you were back then.” “Not fucking funny,” Cassius said, his hands reaching for his groin. “I pity your future baby.” “Don’t fucking say that!” I started to cry. I almost never cry, and especially not in public. “Fuck, it was a joke. Just like you were, Fuck!” Cassius grunted. He handed me some tissues. “I’ll leave yo alone, okay. But if you do need something, just fucking ask. And I won’t tell.”

Joe’s eyes bulged, his brows furrowing in pure rage, but his hands moved against his will, rubbing moose excrement into his own face. “You know what Gigi told me?” I said conversationally, turning to Nikolai. “She saw on TikTok that some men don’t wash their asses.” I tutted at Joe. “We can’t have that. Rub your ass in that shit, bro. Get it between the cheeks.” Joe looked like he was about to slaughter us, but he was powerless as he rolled his ass in the dung, grinding into it like he had the world’s itchiest bottom. At this point, Nikolai and I were crying with laughter, struggling to breathe as we doubled over, barely able to steal glances at each other without completely losing it again.

Leesa had to give the guy credit. He didn’t seem to let the catcalls and groans bother him. He either had the thickest skin in the world, or he thought the derision was in some twisted way an approval of his act. His jokes were new, but were equally as dumb as the last time. She wondered if he wrote the stuff himself or got it from some website—stupidjokes.com, maybe.

At my sudden question, Cassius stared at me. “...” “Because their horns don’t work,” I said and chuckled. “...” He blinked his eyes as is he finally realized that I am saying a joke. But it felt awkward that he did not smile a bit. And so, I thought of another joke that made me laugh so hard before. “I g-got into a fight with someone last night and it was totally my fault.” “...” “Because I was asked what was on the TV. And I answered, dust.”

I roll my eyes as the entire class erupts in laughter. Beside me, Maya groans, then plasters a sickeningly sweet smile on her face before turning around. “Don’t you have other things to worry about, Cass?” She tilts her head, pretending to think. “Like those shorts of yours, for example. It looks like your ass is about to fall out of it.” Someone howls, and the laughter doubles, but I feel a wave of satisfaction when Cassidy’s face turns red as she struggles for a comeback. Eventually, she settles for a scowl and flippant “whatever” before turning back to her “clones,” as everyone else calls them.

Keith “It’s not funny,” I was seated in my study the next day going over some documents with Cassian. But Cassian was not so forgiving when it came to letting go. He had taken every opportunity he could get from yesterday to bring up the fact that I had fainted. “It is,” he said, “and it will continue to be funny for a long time,” he laughed again, “What were you thinking…” “If you laugh again, I’ll frame it as treason,” I said, my face serious. That did not help at all. Cassian doubled over and laughed in my face even harder.

“And… I know that because I’m supposed to be at the meeting right now.” “Yet here you are.” “And yet here you are.” He stepped closer, flapping his hands in mock dramatics. “Between us girls… tell me, do you have a kink for watching gay men fuck?” My jaw dropped. “Wha—no, that’s… I swear, I was just passing. I didn’t even see anything—” “Relax, Kira.” He broke into unhinged laughter. “I’m just fucking with you.” His laughter echoing through the wall, I shoved his shoulder hard.

Haiders and Usman hair looked like a nest . Usman was drenched . Kiara laughed at their condition and said," Now you both are really looking like the Joker ". Khalid and Amina both laughed along with her . Haider and Usman didn't mind getting in a fight that made their sister smile. Kiara said," Go and change, otherwise you may catch a cold ". Usman nodded with a smile and went to change. Kiara looked at Haider with a raised eyebrow .

(Piper POV) Kade and I made it to Moon Shadow Pack without incident. Well, I take that back. We made it to Moon Shadow Pack MOSTLY without incident. Despite the earlier tension between us, I was grateful that Kade was with me. During the long bus ride, he distracted me with stories about his puphood and about what led to him wanting to become a doctor. He also told me some of the worst werewolf jokes that I have ever heard. The jokes were so awful that I could not help but laugh; Buster McGee’s job was definitely safe from the likes of Kade. (How did the werewolf stop the recording? By hitting the “paws” button. How do fans support a werewolf’s social media page? Lycan subscribe.)

My vapidness would love to smack some sense in him. ‘Cheers!’ Another wrote with clinking glasses. His teeth would look better on the ground or better as toppings. ‘Can I have some?’ The following goes on. I'd like to have some of your arteries too. ‘Cheap drunks!’ You think you can afford the cheap in the wildest of your dreams. The netizens had a gala day sharing memes amongst themselves. I have become a laughingstock. It ranges from hilarious to disgustingly vulgar. For what? For outspeaking and spitting facts at a jerk's face. For standing up by the side of a vampiress who is forced to become his sex slave. For having opinions that do not reconcile. For wanting to be admired.