Kickass Humor Novels & Stories

I only nodded my head at him as if he could see it. But I swallowed hard the moment I was fully done grazing the soap on his back. It was now my turn to graze the soap on his butt and I swallowed harder when I saw how gifted he is on that part. Seriously, why do men have more butt than us women? It’s so unfair! “Ooof,” Bullet laughed the moment my hand landed on his butt. “You are giving Kim Kardasian vibes on this part,” I told him as I laughed. “And yours are giving Nicki Minaj,” he bantered back and that is the reason why I hit him gently in the calf while laughing harder.

“This is what I’m talking about. Spiritborn drops cryptic horror, and you all act like we’re on summer vacation.” Lia squeezed my hand. “We’re not ignoring it. We’re coping.” “Some of us cope with jokes,” Matt added. “Some of us pace like a wild dog.” “Some of us drink expired energy drinks and watch conspiracy videos at 3 a.m.,” Colby offered. “I was doing research,” I said, clearly offended. “You were watching a guy yell about moon phases and ancient lizard royalty.” “Research,” I repeated stubbornly. I took a breath, tried to ground myself. “Okay. Fine. Humor’s your armor. But I’m serious. We need a plan.”

“The witch looked shocked for all of two seconds, then she…” “Kicked him in the fucking nuts…” Pete roared, cutting George off. The others erupted into laughter again. “Ooohhh… Stanislav got served!” Philip laughed. “Right back at you.” He added when Stan gave him the finger. “And trust me, it was one hell of a kick.” Kate laughed. “Do you see me limping?” Stan drawled. “You’ve healed, boss.” The lady warrior laughed. “Are you okay, man?” Jeremy tried to look serious but failed. “Dude, I’m sorry but their laughter is fucking contagious.” The alpha of alphas dissolved into laughter.

She deadass did save my life but something in the back of my mind kept telling me that was not the reason I was agitated to meet her. "Then tell me what the fuck the reason is, you stupid brain." I yelled into my pillow, muffling the sound to the point where it almost sounded non-existent. I'm not one to play mind games, I just wanted to know the reason. Did you get the pun there? I'm so fucking funny. I know you're shaking your head thinking of what a stupid pun that was. But you know it was fucking lit. Maybe I should go into Comedy instead, I'm too funny for Urban/Realistic/Drama. Imagine my next stop being called Life of Eve: Comedy and Puns. What do you think?

he said, stepping forward with the confidence of someone who could somehow charm a room into submission. Cassius exhaled beside him. “Please don’t start,” he murmured, arms crossed as always. “You two are impossible,” I muttered under my breath, though the corner of my mouth betrayed a smile. Marco leaned toward me, lowering his voice conspiratorially. “He’s like this because he has no sense of humor. And I, of course, have plenty.” Cassius blinked calmly. “I have a sense of humor.” “Name one joke you’ve ever made,” Marco challenged.

“I was told you’ve gone insane after losing the baby, but I had no idea it was this critical. Your brain needs a checkup.” “Fuck you, Adam.” “Unfortunately, you can’t. I’m not one of your whores.” His lips twitched into a sly smile again, and this time, it extended into wicked laughter. His shoulders were shaking as he mocked Cassian. “The pain of a loser.” “You won’t last there, I promise you.” Cassian turned away from him, holding his gaze firmly. “I’ll make sure of that.”

His fingers drummed against the windowsill, the rhythm growing faster, betraying the unease he refused to name. His warriors, known for their flawless tracking skills, scoured every inch of land. Yet no matter how many warriors or hounds he sent out, they all circled back to the same place—the abandoned well. His frustration boiled over as he paced furiously around it, refusing to believe that the corpse inside was mine. Then, as if struck by sudden inspiration, he snapped his fingers. "I see it now! She must've used a Burrowing Technique—that's why the hounds keep leading us here."

But she was already reading it out. 2Tall2Bottom: U into anonymous gloryholes? I host (⁠•⁠‿⁠•⁠) I peeked through my fingers. "Why are they all talking like GTA strip club NPCs?!" She was crying with laughter. "Mate, this is normal for hookup sites. Here see, this one straight up sent, Wyd with a dick pic attached. At least he's got humor. “Let me put my dick in dat booty." She snickered at the play of words of my username.

"I'd pay really well for you to satisfy my foot fetish." "For five dollars I'll put my foot up your ass." "Painful and drastically overpriced." "You like the pain." "Not in my ass." They both laughed, and a short time later they left the suite to interrupt Krispin during his favorite past time.

There, take that you hottie, hot guy! His grin leaves me breathless but then he opens his mouth, and nonsense spills out like word vomit. “Yeah, I have a plethora of words in my arsenal… there’s fuck, fucker, fucked, dickhead, shit, bullshit, ass, asshat…” He continues to list more cuss words. Each curse word becomes more ridiculous than the last. I gaped at him wide-eyed and suddenly busted out laughing. “You’re just a dork, you know that?” I can’t help but smile at him. This scary dude does have a sense of humor.