Kickass Humor Novels & Stories

"Listen, you look legit. Take this startup cash, find a girl to ride your dick till you black out. Can't get it up? Buy a beer and shove it up your ass - call it a night!" They cackled again, feeding off each other's venom. I stayed cool, letting their words slide off me like the rain outside. One of them, a wiry prick with a mean glint in his eye, leaned closer when he saw I wasn't budging. "What, you here to start shit? If your asshole is itching for a quick fuck, take it to the human world. Don't fuck up our fun." I tilted my head, voice low and edged with mockery. "Oh, I thought you lot had balls. My mistake. Guess I made you feel... insecure."

Effectively knocking him over on his side. Unfortunately it had the opposite effect as he laid there laughing harder. This little fucker! I plopped on on the ground next to him before throwing myself back on the floor. After a few moments of us laughing, We slowly looked over at each other, our faces only foot away from the others. "Don't even ask, fuck no, I'm not going to kiss you!" Jackass said and I couldn't help but laugh harder at that point. I kicked my leg out effectively rolling him over.

he said while winking at her. She took a few minutes to understand what he meant with 'Bigger demand' and then started laughing. “ What the fuck are you and your assistant is doing in front of my door, huh, don't you have a little conscience to not disturb human beings while they are in sleep, ” an irritated voice sounded as Karan woke up by the sound of their laughter. “ Umm... You are right, but do you count on humans? ” Krish commented with a sarcastic tone, “ Ae... Brat, I have told you many times that you can insult me as you wish but.. ” he paused as he bent a little bit to Krish and whispered, “ But, don't insult me in front of beauties, you know, ”

“This is what I’m talking about. Spiritborn drops cryptic horror, and you all act like we’re on summer vacation.” Lia squeezed my hand. “We’re not ignoring it. We’re coping.” “Some of us cope with jokes,” Matt added. “Some of us pace like a wild dog.” “Some of us drink expired energy drinks and watch conspiracy videos at 3 a.m.,” Colby offered. “I was doing research,” I said, clearly offended. “You were watching a guy yell about moon phases and ancient lizard royalty.” “Research,” I repeated stubbornly. I took a breath, tried to ground myself. “Okay. Fine. Humor’s your armor. But I’m serious. We need a plan.”

“For once, you might be right.” Cassar’s eyes were wide as he started barking out orders to his pack. Cass scooped me into his arms as he started running through he territory. “Well, I’m getting a sense of déjà vu.” I grimaced. Cassar growled. “This isn’t the time for jokes.” “Actually, my coping mechanism is through humour.” I chuckled with a wheeze. “Humour and murder.” Cassar glared as he ran faster. “Oh you’re just mad because if I die, you die.”

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I sputtered and wiped my eyes, trying to see through the milk. "You've made a big mistake.”Cassidy said, her voice filled with glee. She and her friends were laughing, pointing at me and making cruel jokes. I felt humiliated and angry, but I refused to let them see it. “I’ll be the karma.” A certain familiar deep voice stepped in and worded, and out of nowhere drenching Cassidy with the same amount of milk… no, pepper spray?! What karma does…

“I was told you’ve gone insane after losing the baby, but I had no idea it was this critical. Your brain needs a checkup.” “Fuck you, Adam.” “Unfortunately, you can’t. I’m not one of your whores.” His lips twitched into a sly smile again, and this time, it extended into wicked laughter. His shoulders were shaking as he mocked Cassian. “The pain of a loser.” “You won’t last there, I promise you.” Cassian turned away from him, holding his gaze firmly. “I’ll make sure of that.”

I'm grateful for the government of the day and for this opportunity to hear from the people but we shouldn't open our doors and our ears to hear crabs and nonsense from gangsters. He spoke so calmly due to his age as he stretched his hands to Jefsexy and his crew. “How on earth do you ever imagine a man fucking a man and it seats down well with you?." “The anus isn't meant for fucking but for you to used it for your damned poop.” “ It's so irritating and disgusting when ever I hear a man will have the audacity to fuck a fellow man man.” Mr. Kitty said a little bit loud as his voice began to show his anger gradually.

His fingers drummed against the windowsill, the rhythm growing faster, betraying the unease he refused to name. His warriors, known for their flawless tracking skills, scoured every inch of land. Yet no matter how many warriors or hounds he sent out, they all circled back to the same place—the abandoned well. His frustration boiled over as he paced furiously around it, refusing to believe that the corpse inside was mine. Then, as if struck by sudden inspiration, he snapped his fingers. "I see it now! She must've used a Burrowing Technique—that's why the hounds keep leading us here."