Little Johnny Jokes Dirty Novels & Stories

“Do you know how much these cost?” “No,” I said quickly. “But I know how much my rent is, and it is… less.” His jaw tightened. “Stand up.” I obeyed, clutching my bag as it might save me. “You’re new,” he said. “Yes.” “You’re late.” “Yes.” “You’ve ruined my shoes.” “Yes.” I nodded at every accusation because they were all true and because I had a strong feeling denying anything would end badly. “Name,” he demanded. “Lola.”

A lady was giggling at a corner. "She is confused." She said. She was also masked. "One moment, I was serving a "special guest" and the next moment, I'm in the lion's den. What a sweet plot twist." I chuckled. "Oh! Girl. You were really sweet, I wouldn't lie about that. But work has to be done." He smiled and carrased my face. I held the urge to spit into his face. I felt really dirty. "Was it because of what I stole?" I asked him.

“Man, I don't know. You probably need therapy or some shit like that.” You know what was funny? While no one could notice, I was fucking boiling inside as Johnny said all this. No, I wasn't pissed off… I could take a joke. What infuriated me wasn't what Johnny said to me. Come on. We had been friends since we were kids. We did everything together. It wasn't that.

“He doesn’t know what sex is. Justin and I talked to him about it. I thought he’d forgotten about it. I am so sorry.” “I think it’s hilarious,” I laugh. “Jackson went through a phase where he talked about how babies get put inside a mommy by a daddy.” “I’m sure you had nothing to do with that.” Charlie raises an eyebrow. “That was all on Dean, actually. Even I know better than to open that can of worms.” “The last thing I need is him asking people at school this fall if they’re having sex.” Charlie laughs. “It is kind of funny.” “It kind of is. Like when Libby said penis all the time when she was three. But it’s embarrassing if it’s said to the wrong people.”

He says poking his head in the bathroom with a smirk. “I mean I need a week to recover but yes that was the definition of a quickie...” He burst out laughing and I gain my composure and finish my shower. Once I’m out I dry myself and go in search of something to wear. As I bend over searching for a decent pair of jeans Johnny playfully slaps my ass and runs out the room telling me to hurry up. “Hey that was uncalled for mister!” I shout after him and I hear him shout back half way down the stairs…

"Man, what did you just say?" The guy scoffs and repeats. "Stupid slut!" CJ laughs. "Please tell me it's me you called that." The guy scoffs. "It's your cheap whore right there..." "That's funny bro!" CJ laughs and the Indian guy joins in and now they are both laughing. "See you around bro..."

She tickled the lot of them, rolling around, before shifting onto her stomach and setting her sights on Johnny. “Well, well. If it isn’t my fellow head basher.” He laughed along with the older kids. Lizzy grinned, never taking her eyes off him. “Kids, what do you call a woodpecker without a beak?” The youngsters threw out some possibilities and Lizzy shook her head, still staring deep into his eyes before yelling out the answer. “A headbanger.” He snorted and Lizzy threw sand on his stretched-out calf. “Hey, easy, hellcat! I liked the tune by the way. Aren’t you a little young for that playlist. What are you, like twenty-three?”

"Carpentry ain't easy. Jesus 'Whistling Hands' Christ was a carpenter all those years ago, so you know it's tough work." I laughed at his irreverence -- he was always known to run screaming from a church, so the jokes were to be expected. "Where did you hear that one? It doesn't feel like yours." I asked. "A bad movie podcast. We Hate Movies. I steal their jokes more than I want to admit," he said bashfully. "Aww, that's okay. I wouldn't hear them otherwise. So... how long do I have to wait for your revenge?" Ronny glanced back at me. "My next prank? Depends. Do you have any rules you need to establish?" He gave me such a pointed look, he had to have something specific in mind, but I wasn't

"What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it? Nothing, it just let out a little wine." "Please stop," Ashlyn laughed, covering her face with her hands. "Your jokes are getting worse." "My jokes are berry good, thank you very much." He grinned, clearly proud of himself. "Get it? Berry?" "I'm filing for divorce." "No, you're not. You love my dad jokes." "I tolerate them at best." Richard leaned forward, still holding the strawberry. "What do you call a fake noodle?" "Don't—" "An impasta!" Despite herself, Ashlyn burst out laughing. "That's it. I'm leaving."

She may have a bit of stubborn and brat bones in her body. "You could have made it last time too if Lilith didn't made a total worthless joke about breathing in hell which had Grace laughing like a fool ." Emily scoffs remembering their stupidity that night. "It was funny though" Grace defends herself,It's not her fault that she finds stupid nerd jokes funny.