Miserable Funny Quotes Novels & Stories

“You? Act right? I guess this would serve as a new turn for you.” “Can you not make fun of me? This is me trying to do things I should have done before now. I feel so bad for hurting her like that. She deserves the best of life and I want to be the one to give that to her.” “I don’t feel sorry for you, Mason. I think you deserve to be treated like trash.” “Well, thanks for being an amazing friend. I really appreciate you.” He said with deep sarcasm dripping off his words. “You are very welcome. I am happy for you.”

I traced a constellation with a glint in my eyes, “It’s my motto, maybe you should make it yours too” I tilted my head to give him a genuine smile. I saw his wheels turning in his head for a while through his green orbs, then he broke into small chuckles, shaking his head. I blinked my eyes as to why he was laughing. We were talking serious things right before he began chortling. Did I say something funny? “Why’re you laughing?” I asked. He silenced his chuckles to look at me biting his lips preventing any more. “No wonder you were called the ‘Quote Schmuck’” he quoted.

Roger replied as he tried to imitate Mae West as well. “Of all the fabulous Mae West quotes to pick from, you go with that?” Chris chuckled as she planted herself on the sofa next to him. “It’s the best I could come up with on such short notice,” he shrugged. I placed my elbows on my desk and held my face in the palms of my hands. “Tough day, honey?” Roger asked. “Every day’s a tough day,” I replied. “Our little Gertie found herself a new man,” Chris teased.

Mildred replied. “And I am the one who lost! hahaha! What the hell! hahaha !, ”I said laughing but deep inside so that I was slowly being killed by the pain. “Isn't it funny? Funny? Hahaha! ”I said laughing to stop the pain I was feeling.

"If you don't go, that crazy Jenny is going to eat you up and spit you out! "I'm perfectly safe here. At worst, it's just like I'm watching some exaggerated melodrama with a brain-dead script. Just hurry up and get the hell out of here. And if I don't make it back, remember to get me the best casket you can find. I don't want the ones made out of cheap particle boards, you got that?" His morbid humor made me laugh—and wince because the motion tugged on my wound. Nevertheless, my heart warmed.

Mason tried to make a joke of it. “As*h*le!” I growled. I gave him the middle finger, and he laughed uproariously. “You really are having a good time at my expense,” I told him. When the mirth died down, he rubbed his face with the back of his hand and ran his fingers over his head. “No. I just wanted to make this light. I am sad, too. I did not realize that I would enjoy working in corporate life. I thought sitting behind a desk was boring.”

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“Focus on me.” “I don’t feel like it.” “Too bad. Look at me.” He slowly looked up as I sighed. “I’m sorry,” I muttered. “About your mom. I mean it. That’s… that’s shit no one deserves to go through.” He gave me this odd, almost mocking smile. “You sound like a human being when you’re drunk. Did you ever realize that?” I laughed, a hard, bitter laugh. “Well, I guess the best of me is kept for crumbling, then.”

he asked in a teasing tone. I sighed. “Just… having a messed-up day. Needed to clear my head.” He tapped my shoulder. “You know, drinking alone only makes the day darker. Next time, call a friend; you can call me. Misery loves company, but at least with company, you can laugh a little while you drown your sorrows.” A corner of my lips twitched, but I didn’t answer. Marcus signaled the bartender. “One for me too,” he said before turning back to me. “And don’t think you’re the only one with troubles. I’ve had a rough week myself.”

His face was literally shaped like that of a person cursed always to be unhappy. I shrugged, displaying my open palms. "Just twice a week. I'm pretty reasonable on Sundays." Damian looked baffled, and then an expression of utter disgust crossed his face as his brows drew together, displaying lines on his forehead. "That's…was a joke, you were supposed to find that funny," My voice trailed. "I guess not. Keep your eyes on the road, then. You might find something that spikes your humor there." "I see no reason to. It's not like you're one of those scared to die."