Necromancer Jokes Novels & Stories

"I knew it! How could a fresh graduate like you possibly land a client as tough as Gilla Group on your own? Turns out all you did was just climb into Mr. Kapowsky's bed!" She turned to the pale-faced Miguel, convinced that she'd figured everything out. "Don't be scared, Miguel. He's just pretending to be all respectful. It's part of their bedroom kink. These rich older guys love these role-playing games nowadays. "You're such a slut, Macy. You really stooped to such disgusting lows just to land a project? And you even have the nerve to show off about it at a team dinner?" As soon as she said that, everyone else in the room suddenly seemed to come to the same conclusion as well. After all, wh

Noah's voice pulled me back to reality. "Oh, sorry. I was just thinking about something." "I know you're under a lot of pressure right now, especially with everything going on at home," he said with concern. "Honestly, when I heard about your situation, I really wanted to help you. We've been classmates for so many years, after all." I looked at his "sincere" expression and sneered inwardly. Noah lowered his voice. "I know a quick way to make money. It's nothing illegal. Just a little risky."

she played with the orchid on her ear. “I am a necromancer. I could see the future.” She said shrugging her shoulders as if it was nothing for her. I looked at her if she wasn’t joking. No, she wasn’t. “So, you could see the future? I mean future like what is going to happen?” I rambled; my mouth was wide open. Necromancy was a myth. Nobody could see the future. She smiled and nodded. For some reason I felt she doesn’t like talking about it. I decide to change the topic.

She remained standing. "You smell dead," a boy said from behind Nathaniel. Nathaniel turned to see a child no more than twelve years old, his eyes sparkling with curiosity. "Jake, you can't say that to people," Elder August scolded, his tone gentle. The boy scoffed and returned to playing, unaffected. "Please pardon him; Jake is a necromancer," August explained. Nathaniel's eyes widened in astonishment. He had never seen a necromancer before, let alone one within a pack.

Talon sneered, yanking him closer. "Necromancers are always weak as shit. You hide behind your army, and everyone thinks you're powerful. Look at you now. You're nothing without your magic." Hugh's swollen eyes flickered open, and to Talon’s surprise, he started laughing—a wet, gurgling disgusting sound that make Talon want to rip his throat out. "You think that's all I have up my sleeve?" Hugh rasped, his lips curling into a wicked grin. His gaze flicked downward.

He had seen few zombie flicks during his stay in the human realm. "Necromancers?" Alexa frowned and Dimitri knew what would be her next question. "Necromancers are wizards who practice black magic on dead people," he explained. Alexa's mouth formed a cute 'O' while she thought about what he said. "Alexa... baby, it's almost lunchtime. You are starving our guests," Lucian intervened and Dimitri let out a sigh of relief. "Oh... shit, I forgot. You guys talk. I will get on to it," Alexa said and bounced towards the kitchen.

“If you die, don’t come back here.” I snorted. A necromancer was probably the only person who actually could do something like that—I mean, die and come back for a visit, or get back at the killer. But if I told Farne how accurate his joke was, he’d die himself—of shock. Anyway, I decided to have mercy on the colonel—it’s not like I had an abundance of capable military personnel—and went on with my preparations.

' she laughed at her own joke as if it was the funniest thing she had ever heard. 'No matter how much makeup you put on bitch you will still be the same old Ugly Emma!' she then steps closer and I step back. Only this time I didn't realize I was at the edge of the pool and I fell in and I heard people including the bitch laughing. The only problem was I couldn't swim I kept trying to kick to the surface but it was not working I felt myself starting to lose consciousness but then I felt myself being carried by someone that self so warm.

💉Tiara p.o.v 💉 It's time for the first prey to be sacrificed. I took off my bracelet and turn to half a bat and half of my vampiress's face, and disappeared into the thin air. I got to his house and decided to play some tricks on him, I started changing the light in his sitting room to different colours. I can see how scary he was, I used my necromancy power to break his plates and anything breakable in his kitchen at least he will die today, even when I finish draining his blood I will still demolish his apartment so as not to leave any traces for investigation.

then it becomes a problem. "We'll be glad to have a talent like you in our pack" I told her. She smiled at my words and nodded. "I think it is necromancy" She said after a while, out of nowhere. I looked at her with my eyebrows drawn together. "Necromancy?" I asked.... that's the thing from TV shows isn't it? Where you talk to the dead and all that?