Pirate Jokes Novels & Stories

One of the pirates said and the others grunted in agreement. "I bet you she feels better than the whores we had at Tampe Bay," Another said. "I don't know about that. I mean those women were exotic," Another replied and went to sit by the side of the ship with a cup full of ale. "I mean, their breast looked like watermelons and tasted sweet too..." He said again but before he could finish what he was saying, he fell backwards and screamed as he hit the water. The others laughed out loud thinking that their colleague had tripped over the ship because he was disoriented from being so drunk.

natatawang sabi ni Nathan. Napabuntong-hininga si Thalia at sa wakas, tumawa na rin. "Ang corny mo, Nathan." "Ayos lang, basta tumawa ka," sagot nito, ngayon ay mas kampante na ang tono. "Teka, gusto mo pa ng isa pang joke? Para lang sure na nawala na ang inis mo." "Sige nga, subukan mo," hamon ni Thalia. Sumeryoso saglit si Nathan, kunwari’y iniisip nang mabuti ang joke niya. "Ano ang sinabi ng isda sa pader?"

“Not a.” “Not a pirate?” I laughed, and the sound hurt us both. “I am what kept me alive.” He found the whip end of authority because men do when they are losing the argument that matters. “Those pirates.” He spat the word for the first time and then used it again because it made him feel taller. “Those men will be hung for their crimes. They have stolen, they have killed, they have.”

I was gasping for air when he spoke up again. "What's the cute ship called?" I raised my eyebrows. My grin couldn't be removed while thinking. "What?" "Cute boat.” We laughed together. His face is really hilarious! Imagine someone as muscular as him throwing nasty jokes. Lol! "There's more!" he said, tasting more. "Oh you have so many pockets..." He smirked. "What does a broom car sound like?" My lips immediately parted. I paused and thought. "Huh? Witch?!" He roared with laughter.

SCARLETT'S POV. I was completely right. The party was boring as hell, and from the looks of things we weren't even near done here. And then even worse, the annoying as fuck MC who thoughts his jokes were so funny but they were obviously not, had been wasting so much time on the third segment of the programme which was jokes and riddles, that I almost threw my shoe at him. If I heard one more uncle joke coming from his mouth, I could just do it right there, damning all the consequences.

Then in an attempt to prove his point, he looped his arm around the neck of a fellow pirate. “Didn’t the captain once tell us before that his beard is his beer, yes? He keeps them well-maintained, and classical, and…and…..” He trailed off as he racked his brain trying to think what was next to what he was saying. At this point, the guy’s words were getting more and more incomprehensible but the other guy grabbed was eager to listen and so he prodded the other to its ribs and insinuated, “And what?” “And old fashion and strong!”

“The Discordian.” “You… you tricked us into coming out here! Fooled us into turning ourselves over to a bunch of pirates!” “Calm down. I’ve done no such thing. You’re acting like parlaying with a pirate’s some kind of death sentence.” “Maybe if they hadn’t shot at me so many times before, I wouldn’t see it that way.” “It’s not like they were shooting at you, personally. They’re pirates. They shoot at everything.” “Is that supposed to make me feel better?”

Sometimes he could almost feel the change and had a moment to think Self, what we are about to do is really dumb. Not today. Today he was driven by pure instinct as bad went to ridiculously worse. A bunch of Hares appeared from inside the ship. Judging from their vests and sashes and - were those actually swords? - the pirates had arrived. A few of them also had pistols. Liam's eyes lit up as his brain flipped the aforementioned switch into handsome and brave mode.

I lay beside him as he wrapped his arms around me before letting out a deep and heavy sigh. "Why don't pirates take a shower before they walk the plank?" My brows furrowed as I looked up to him. "They just wash up on the shore." He looked down at me with a serious face. What is he saying? But that phrase seems familiar to me though. "Did you just joke?" "Yeah, isn't it funny?" He's still wearing his poker face. I scoffed as I ran my legs to his thigh. "You didn't even laugh." This time, he chuckled and it felt so good to my ears. "Because I don't find it funny and was curious if it's really funny to other people."

He quickly shouted at the crowd, "They are pirates! Don't resist! Give them the money or whatever they want or your life will be in danger!" The captain's words stunned the crowd. "What? We ran into pirates?" "My gosh! What year are we in? Pirates still exist?" "We're dead! They say pirates are the most brutal! Had I known earlier, I wouldn't have attended this gathering!" "We're toast! Are we going to be thrown into the sea by the pirates to feed the fish? I don't want to die!"