Potter Jokes Novels & Stories

I know he didn't mean it. "That's the hand I used when I slapped you Mark." "Eh, what do you use when you and Ken slap?" they both asked. "Uhm, pot..." Their eyes widened. "It's not a joke, hahah, we really use our hands. But we've already tried hitting a pot on the head..." Their eyes widened again, making me laugh even harder. "Just kidding again... Pfft... hAHAHAHA your faces are epic." "You're being silly princess, we know it's true." Mark promised. Pfft, that's just you.

] "One of the things I like about him... He's a corny joker." ["Like what?"] I clap my hands once. "About teleporting mosquitos. Anyhow, he can make me laugh." ["He could have learned from me~ To make a woman laugh is to make them fall for that man."] "Like what?" ["Hmm, what do you call a mosquito inside the mosquito net?"] "What?"

Eyes widening with horror, as they shuffle to the side to try and cover the mug they have already made. I step easily around them, they aren’t game to touch me to stop me, and I pick up the finished mug, it has a wolf on it and I read the slogan out loud with a giggle. “’In my defence the moon was full and I was left unsupervised.’ It’s clever, are you both horror fans?” “Ah… it’s a just a joke…” James starts but is cut off the sound of the timer buzzing for the other mug still in the heating press.

“You sure? They’re terrible.” “Worse than your attempts at washing dishes?” he teases. I gasp, mock offended. “That was one time. And you said you were gonna drop it.” “One very memorable time.” I smirk. “Ready?” He nods. “Okay. Why don't eggs tell each other secrets?” “Why?” “Because they might crack.” A short laugh escapes him. “That one’s bad.” “Wait, I’ve got more. What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work?”

My mother called me one Saturday evening to her room, "we shall be paying a visit to somewhere in the city." She told me. That sunday about 3 p.m. we entered a public transport mode and straight away to the Crimson park. She bought two pairs of snacks, one for me and the other for her, as we look the snacks, we loiter around the pack and talk, "Paloma," my mother called me, "you must be careful with the boys that come around you. Be careful not to look into the eyes of any boy, you could be hypnotized by a love potion they have applied on their eyes, be careful not drink any drink offered to you by any one, you could be a victim of the love potions." "Mummy, how does this work, I mean? Does

"And guess what? He raised his cup, moving it in circle as he waited for me to guess. Yeah, he probably knew I was really poor in making guesses. He had talked, he let the cat out of the bag. "I know how dumb you could be most at times. So let me not keep the newe waiting and the excitement dying because of some dumb soul." He scoffed, laughing hard as he banged the table at his own jokes and what was required of every one who was present there was to laugh alongside with me. Even if…. It was a boring joke, no one cared as far as they wouldn't lose their life.

Carson gave me a little pout. "Ok, I was thinking about Harry Potter and what he would have done in a situation like that, so I pointed the stick and yelled EXPELLIARMUS!" Everyone froze, Declan's mouth hit the table. Cleo and Gerry were giving me the 'what the fuck' look. Carson was the first one to topple over with laughter. "Fuck Luna. You are one crazy girl, you're lucky you're Gidian's mate or else you would have been a goner." He continued his laughter.

Jeffery patted his shoulder. "We can always go for opening a new account for you". Parker chirped in. "Wow Parker. How come I didn’t think of the brilliant idea"? Jeffery said in a rather sarcastic tone and the table erupted into laughter. "Because all you can think is to shove your dick in some hole". Parker retorted back making Liam choke on his juice but it didn’t stop him from laughing. "Not any HOLE. Just one. And that’s..." Jeffery was cut short when Parker cupped his lips to restrain him from speaking.

Her actual name is Poppy, but what is a best friend if they do not have a nickname they hate. “I’ve been dancing and talking right in front of you for ages, you dipshit. You have been standing here like a wanker, staring at the same spot on the ceiling for ages”. She returned, laughing as if my trauma was the most hilarious thing ever. “What do you want anyway? You fucking twatwaffle.” “I came to see how the decs were coming along and found you in a trance with some weird ass look on your face”. Pops really does love having a joke, especially at someone elses expense.

I practically had to retrieve his jaw from the floor. ‘Well, naturally. An ex-convent girl would be far too demure to contemplate it.’ There was no missing the sardonic glint in his eye. With a bored expression she said, ‘Can we get the cliched old jokes over with? Just for the record, I’ve heard about a million variations on “Phwoor, convent girls! Always the worst when they’re let out!” ’ Twitch or tic, it was at it again. ‘No such thought ever crossed my brain cells.’