Sampai Kapan Aku Begini Novels & Stories

“This ends now.” ***

Caleb had seen me at my lowest — when I almost dropped out of school, when I couldn’t afford food, when I thought I’d never make it. “Thank you,” I whispered. “Text me when you get there, okay? And please, don’t skip breakfast again.” “I won’t, Love you.” I said, “Love you more. Always.” The line went silent. I smiled at my screen for a moment before sliding the phone back into my pocket. I boarded a bus and found a seat by the window. The wind brushed my face and for once, life felt… peaceful. A small, strange feeling tugged at my chest — like déjà vu. I shook it off. Maybe I was just nervous.

" I do not know how. Do not know what to do. Do not know how to fix what I just broke. All I know is that I just lost her. And this time it might be permanent.

Nothing more. I can’t keep living a lie. I don’t want to complicate things any further than they already are. I want to give myself the chance to love Travian freely… openly… like he’s the last person I’ll ever need to fall for. And if it ends badly, if everything crashes and burns in the end—I won’t complain. I’ll take it as it comes. “What's on your mind?” Travian’s voice lured me back to reality. I blinked, meeting his gaze, caught under the gentle scrutiny of his eyes.

My people. This ends now, even if it costs me everything.

he asked me hesitatingly. “Yes, Samuel. You heard me right. It has been seven years since she disappeared. She would have come back if she were still alive. I don’t want to torture myself anymore with this hope that I will find her one day.” I replied to him calmly, choosing my words carefully. “Your therapist said the same thing to you over and over, Mr. Lombart. I am glad th…. That you want to move on now.” Samuel chirped, but I felt as if he was also provoking someone by saying that I will be happy in the future.

Was writing on the banner with red ink. " What is the meaning of this karma?" I ask, gritting my teeth in anger. " My beloved flower, from the very first day I set my eyes on you, I lost my mind to you, I think of you when I'm eating, you are always by my side when I'm sleeping, even in the toilet you are always there, my love for you is like a Lion's love for meat, you are the air I breathe the sugar in my bee, no, the honey in my bee, you are my forever, I love you and will always...."

Maybe not. But his face invaded my mind and it all rushed back. It’s been about a week, still every day I wake up with a hope of seeing his name in the notification panel. Does break ups always shatter you this bad? Perhaps I am a novice to this game of hearts, that my lack of knowledge makes me feel like burning in hell.

"Please, stay where you are, Don't come any closer". Ayoko na magpapasok ulit. Ayoko nang kumilala pa. Ayoko na. Ang sakit. Ang hirap maiwan. I think I will just accept it. It is me and myself against the world. "Don't try to change my mind. I'm being cruel to be kind"