Sarcastic Witty Quotes Novels & Stories

Crayvin's brows furrow as he retorts, "Does your ass ever get jealous of the amount of shit that comes out of your mouth?" I smirk, trying to cover my irritation, but I'm pretty much translucent. He probably knows how much he irritates me. "Nope, it's just sarcasm, honey," I say with my innocent voice, before adding, "But I apologize. Sarcasm just happens to fall out of my mouth like stupidity falls out of yours."

Can you believe it? “Wow! You know sarcasm is a sign of a healthy brain, good, you’re already fine!” I chirped as I could not digest this happiness. By his dangerous aura, I thought he would even behave like a killer but here he is taunting me. Amazing! I mean not the taunt! For a response, he just stares at me. “You’re looking at me like I’m eating your brain.” I muttered, putting my bag next to me. “You look like one.” I heard him muttering. I just shake my head in defeat. Seriously, he is way too sarcastic.

] /All the time? [Each and every thought.] /... I see. Well, what use is this skill you speak of when I can't do anything to change what is bound to happen?/ [That's for you to figure out.] /And I'm saying-! Ah, nevermind. ... ... By the way, you do realise that my comment about you being smart was me being sarcastic, right?/ [Sarcastic?] After a short pause, the system mumbled. [So that's sarcasm…]

“Thanks, Nate. I mean it.” “You’ll figure it out,” I said. “And when you do, I want naming rights on your next signature cocktail.” He laughed for real this time. “Only if it includes your bitter personality and a splash of self-righteousness.” We both chuckled. “You're an asshole, you know that.” I retorted. He shrugged like I just stated a fact, “Learnt form the best.” And like that the gloominess lifted and my sarcastic, down to earth, best friend was back in the room.

I shook my head and went to sit across Audrey. She was laughing at the quotes on the wall. “These are hilarious,” she said, reading one aloud: ‘I don’t need you to brag about me, I just don’t want you to deny me in front of people. – FART!’ Her laughter burst out, filling the café. I just stared, completely captivated. Every laugh, every sparkle in her eyes, it was contagious. “Here’s another one!” she giggled. ‘What a life! Eggs every single day… eggs, eggs, eggs… Do you know who said that?’ Her eyes gleamed mischievously.

Well, I fucking opened myself up to that one. “As a solution to a problem I in part caused,” I say emotionlessly. “I’m going to assume by the vague answer, you don’t wish to discuss it.” “You’re very astute for a human,” I commend her. Her face slips into an emotionless mask, “Yes, we mere mortals are quite astute. We’ve also mastered fire and invented the wheel,” she says sarcastically. “Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit you know.” “At least one of us has some,” she says, taking another sip of her drink.

he replied with a sarcastic remark so good I laughed. "That's funny??" he asked me, smirking. "Nope, but it's funny seeing you giving jokes a try babe, it's still not your thing," I said to him sweetly not to hurt his ego but to be honest, it was honestly true, I did think he was a hottie with good jokes, just sometimes, you got to break their ego a little, it helped put them in their place.

Sarcasm evident in my words *Just hurry up* *Fine* I replied and as I was about to keep my phone back into its rightful place I bumped into someone and my hot cocoa slipped from my hand unto the floor "We have to stop meeting like this cupcake" Only one human being in the world called me that. "Sorry about your hot cocoa though. At least it didn't spill all over your shirt" he said with an amused look on his charming face. Maybe if I ignore him he'll go away

She inquired with an icy tone. " Yeah, you are funny," I smirk down at her. " Oh, I didn't realize that I could be quite the comedian!" A sarcastic remark. " Maybe I should resign and become a full time stand up comedian!" " Buttoning up your shirt isn't going to take away the glaring fact that your shirt has graduated from opaque to see-through,"

she mockingly said. I looked at her, mad and annoyed. “Stop talking nonsense, Veronica,” I said and glared at her. “Have some shame, Veronica. She’s a kid. Spare her,” I didn’t hide the anger in my tone. Instead of stopping, she just laughed. “Do you think I’m stupid?” she said, still smiling and laughing. I rolled my eyes at her. “I know you’re not, Veronica, so stop acting like a stupid person,” I sarcastically said.