Judged in the Court of Scumbags
My wife, Charlene Weber, has taken me to the Scumbag Court.
If I'm found guilty, all my assets will be taken from me, and I'll face 10 years of imprisonment. Charlene, on the other hand, will get to marry her ideal man—Joel Quinlan—as she wishes.
If I'm acquitted of all charges, Charlene will be made to divorce me without alimony. She'll also be cursed with bad luck and disfigured so badly she'll be the ugliest woman in the world.
Conversely, I'll be given 10 million dollars in reparations and gain a lifetime's worth of good luck.
Everyone is advising me to admit to my mistakes, but only because Charlene has always been a virtuous, devoted wife in their eyes. They think that there must surely be some complicated grievances between us at the moment.
However, they are unaware that I've been reborn.
This time, I'm going to tear off Charlene's mask of hypocrisy.