Two Blondes Walk Into A Bar Joke Novels & Stories

I don't know what's going on and why she's in such a bad mood and I've come to the conclusion that a joke would be great to make her laugh or at least encourage her to get there. “I need water, I've run out! Give me some of yours”, she says, angrily, panting. “My bottle is with Dom”, I start my joke, because we've decided not to take two backpacks, since it's not much, “I can't carry weight. You know how it is, right?”, I say, putting my hand on my belly and stroking it, “You're going to be an auntie.” Blanca's eyes widen. “They're twins.”

Adana and Blue walked out of the shower dressed in hot swimming suits, their hips swayed as they walked toward their private pool. Immediately they walked out, the eyes of people focused on them, especially the men whose eyes were filled with lust and hotness but who could blame them? The two friends were hot. They continued walking as they both laughed at the joke Blue had cracked and without focusing on the road, they collided with others and almost fell, but they were saved by the men whom they had collided with.

I stand close by where the beautiful blond and her friends were standing as I stand next to this huge man on the bartender booth, who looked like he is six foot seven, trying to eavesdrop from their conversation. "Oh my god! Really? They're here? Where? Did you see them?" The blond chimes so happily as I take a peak from how she smiles so happily. Beautiful. Fucking beautiful. "Yes! I saw them somewhere!" Her friend answers. "Oh shit. We have to find them! I'll look around the entire bar if I have to!" The beautiful blond answers happily. Who are they looking for? I thought to myself curiously. Two of her friends were laughing and I have a feeling that they were all a little bit drunk now. I

"You sure look better now." "And you look... worse." As far as jokes went, it was a lame joke, one that would not have made anyone event crack a smile normally, but it somehow managed to crack us both up. A second later, Silas and I were laughing like loons, laughing our heads off, clutching the counter to keep from toppling over. Silas stopped to burp and that set us both off again. Silas's unsteady hands poured us both a large glass of whisky.

If those military boys were anywhere tonight, they were at this bar. We stepped inside, adjusting our eyes to the revolving colored disco lights, and there they were. All three of them were leaned up against the bar, their jeans showing off perfect asses. Their t-shirts were ripped, and I could see how muscular they were underneath their clothing. One guy's shirt was a particularly bright shade of red and another had a gorgeous mane of blonde hair. However, "Blondie" and "Redshirt" weren't the guys that I was really checking out. The dark-haired one I liked was laughing at a joke Blondie had told. I did a quick check, and while there were no girls currently hanging on them, hungry looks abou

Our regular day drunk walks into the bar, which catches our attention. "You attend to him." We say simultaneously as we point at each other. "I said it first," Jean says as the man approaches them. "Plus, don't you need to appear busy for Jeff?" This guy comes in every day, and loves to tell stories when he is drunk. The problem is that he repeats his stories and it's now boring. Neither Jean nor I want to be stuck listening to the same stories for hours. "Fuck off." I cuss.

I pout and glare at them, it took few minutes before they came down from their laughter fit and wiped their tears as I kept my cold glare at them. They both gave each other questioning look then narrowed their eyes on me. “you are joking right?”, they both ask in unison. It’s amusing that how they both speak same thing at a time, just like they have a single brain to think. I swear your tri best friends group isn’t best friend group if you don’t have a duo who speaks same line in exact time. “do I look like am joking, I married him few hours ago”, I tell them rolling my eyes.

"I'm beat, gonna call it a night." "Woah, woah, but you just got here." Sammy argued. "Are we boring you?" "Sick of seeing your ugly mugs." I lifted my bottle of water in a cheer to take the sting out of the words. Sammy laughed. "Yeah, whatever. You're just mad you're not getting any tonight. Better luck next time sucker." "He probably has some chick he's meeting elsewhere." Another guy joked. Ignoring their ribbing, I marched out of the bar. As I made my way around the corner of the building, I glanced into one of the Windows and met Travis steady gaze on me. The blonde was in his lap, mouthing at his neck, but he wasn’t looking at her.

I ask. Mason smiles. A smile that has my stomach filling with dread. " Who said we have just one dancer?" My eyes narrow. " What is that supposed to mean?" He snaps his fingers and the doors on either sides of the bar open. My eyes widen as two similarly dressed girls that look like they just stepped off the pages of Vogue magazine walk through the doors. The each walk over and give Mason a peck, jiggling their fake boobs, before walking off in the direction of the poles.

“Tyler’s dumb ass thought he could talk me into skinny-dipping and then fuck me in the ocean. He definitely learned his lesson.” “That’s because you stole his clothes! Seriously, I can still see his face.” A ridiculous wheezing sound escapes her that sounds suspiciously like a pig. “Running through the dorm with that piece of cardboard clutched in front of his dick. Sprinting for his room like his life depended on it.” She is laughing so hard she’s bent over the bar now. And that’s it. I’m done. The sound of her laughter sets me off again. Right then, the bartender sets two fresh drinks in front of us. Neither of which we ordered.