Vegetable Puns Novels & Stories

Demonte’s POV: What the fuck? It was an insane vegetable love story. I was supposed to show her some romantic movie but what the hell was this. All of a sudden a lady finger emerged along with some cucumbers and sung and dance hilariously in front of us. I had never seen something so much stupid and something so much rubbish in my whole life. Was it for real? How can they make such and stupid story where cauliflower falls in love with stupid cabbage and the villains of it are some weird looking pumpkins and the eggplant are their stupid wedding invitees.

There was no look of anger or rage on Calvin's face as a sign that he was uncomfortable with Emily's whimper. "Calvin, I managed to make a long, unbroken cheese grater." "Goof girl." Calvin glanced at Hazel briefly, but said nothing. He watched Hazel's eyes glaze over as she suddenly pretended to be chopping carrots. "Calvin, I really don't like vegetables." "Neither do I." Still watching Hazel chopping carrots, he said to Emily, “But vegetables make you smart.” "I want to be a smart girl." "Then you should eat vegetables."

"Oh, of course you don't know! Sorry, auntie should have told you first, that in our city, parents always tell their children that vegetables can curse someone who refuses to eat them to be short. Yes, the same as the size of vegetables which are almost on average small. Well, that's when the legend emerged that if you don't eat vegetables, be prepared to never get high!” Aunt Donna ended her strange legend with a laugh. And this time I really laughed awkwardly, not because I was confused about how to act, but more because of the absurdity of the legend that Aunt Donna said. “But to be honest, it was powerful enough to make us slowly like vegetables. Ah, I really miss those days…” "Looks lik

I didn't know what to say but nodded, "Yeah, I see it now, it's a vegetable shaped like me...but Tina..." Before I could finish, she got her sexy-Tina voice, "We love to garden together...and this is just one more way we can enjoy the garden...together!" She smiled, "It could be a crudité or appetizer course." Trailing her fingers over my crotch, "We can have some fun with vegetables, before I fill up on all that meat...what do you think?" In my head, I found myself thinking about a banana...but I thought why not a cucumber...or eggplant. Unsure about committing to vegetable sex, I nodded, "Sure...sounds good."

“Say you’re a veggie sprout” “Oh Go-d plea-s-e, I’m so-rr-y” I gasped out as tears streamed down my face. “Say it” “I’M A VEGGIE SPROUT, I SPROUT, I SPROUT” I screamed out as everyone burst into laughter, not me though, I had laughed enough for the day. Becca was still making fun of me for my outburst while my mom laughed, I pouted for the rest of the ride, humans were a mean bunch.

At least the vegetables were spared. On the dining table beyond were plates of almost burnt toast bread, slightly burnt sausage and bacon, the spare vegetable, a jug of freshly squeezed juice and an overcooked scrambled egg. He must have given up after failing multiple sunny sides up. “For the love of God and all that is holy, what are you doing?” I asked, trying hard to suppress a laugh, but by the way my lips curved and the amusement in my voice, I'm failing miserably. “I'm making you breakfast” he answered, his amusement mirroring mine.

“YEAH ! LET THE UNINVITED MOTHERFVCKER GET A TASTE OF ALL OUR ATTENTION AND LOVE” “KILL ! KILL ! KILL !” “BARBECUE HIS ASS, FVCKERS !!” “EVERYONE SHUT THE “HELL” UP ! SEE ? SEE ? WHAT I DID THERE ?” “YEAH SUCKER. YOU USED A PUN FOR THE FIRST TIME IN YOUR LIFE” “HELL NO ! I AM PUN LORD” “NO YOU ARE POOP LORD. THAT’S IT” “SHUT UP, GUYS ! YOU ARE BEING SO UNCOOL”

“You never let anyone carry anything for long.” He exhales. “You know me too well,” he says. “I know you enough,” I say. “Are you eating?” “Pizza,” he says. “Lots of pizza. Does that count?” I smile despite myself. “Barely,” I say. “When was the last vegetable you ate?” He thinks. “I had a slice with green peppers yesterday,” he says. I laugh. “That is not a vegetable. That is decoration on pizza.” He laughs too. The sound is tired but real. “Fair,” he says.

Zoe started to get a little excited just then. She suddenly wanted to praise herself for her intelligence—she never felt as smart as this! Once she was done with the bell peppers, she started to look for giant cabbages. "This one should be easy. Since it's 'giant', I just have to find the biggest vegetable in the farm," Zoe said, though she had to move to another part of the farm to pull out the cabbage. With that in the basket, she moved on to the spring onion, and found it yet again according to a hunch.

My friends are in one group and I haven't joined them since I was the Facilitator slash Vice President of this activity. I approached them to see what they were cooking. "So, what's your dish?" I asked them “Chapseuy!? We said that to you many times” Marleen respond stressfully. "Oh, sorry. I forgot." I laughed. Actually, it's also a good thing that I'm not one of them because I didn't really eat vegetables. Ever since. I ate but only cabbage, carrots, and spinach. I am very picky when it comes to veggies. "Who cooked?" I questioned.