Vegetable Puns Novels & Stories

“You never let anyone carry anything for long.” He exhales. “You know me too well,” he says. “I know you enough,” I say. “Are you eating?” “Pizza,” he says. “Lots of pizza. Does that count?” I smile despite myself. “Barely,” I say. “When was the last vegetable you ate?” He thinks. “I had a slice with green peppers yesterday,” he says. I laugh. “That is not a vegetable. That is decoration on pizza.” He laughs too. The sound is tired but real. “Fair,” he says.

Zoe started to get a little excited just then. She suddenly wanted to praise herself for her intelligence—she never felt as smart as this! Once she was done with the bell peppers, she started to look for giant cabbages. "This one should be easy. Since it's 'giant', I just have to find the biggest vegetable in the farm," Zoe said, though she had to move to another part of the farm to pull out the cabbage. With that in the basket, she moved on to the spring onion, and found it yet again according to a hunch.

My friends are in one group and I haven't joined them since I was the Facilitator slash Vice President of this activity. I approached them to see what they were cooking. "So, what's your dish?" I asked them “Chapseuy!? We said that to you many times” Marleen respond stressfully. "Oh, sorry. I forgot." I laughed. Actually, it's also a good thing that I'm not one of them because I didn't really eat vegetables. Ever since. I ate but only cabbage, carrots, and spinach. I am very picky when it comes to veggies. "Who cooked?" I questioned.

"Strawberry." "What?" I asked as I blinked in surprise. He huffed. "Continue the fruit pattern." "Uhm, orange?" I asked, confused. "Apple." "Grape." "Banana." "Mango." "Tomato." I laughed. "Tomatoes aren't fruit." He laughed too. "Well, they aren't really vegetables either." We both laughed for a moment and a wide, genuine smile plastered itself on my face. "Do you feel better now?" he asked, his voice soft.

he said, his voice brimming with mischief. **** "Okay, it's something hairy at the beginning and smooth in the middle... a Barbie head?" I guessed, my blindfold firmly in place. Abhi snorted, clearly trying to hold back laughter. "Ava, you do realize it's a vegetable, right?" "What? That's exactly what it feels like—a tiny head!" I exclaimed, pulling the blindfold off. My eyes landed on the culprit. "What? A beetroot shouldn't feel like that!" I protested, and he laughed outright.

“YEAH ! LET THE UNINVITED MOTHERFVCKER GET A TASTE OF ALL OUR ATTENTION AND LOVE” “KILL ! KILL ! KILL !” “BARBECUE HIS ASS, FVCKERS !!” “EVERYONE SHUT THE “HELL” UP ! SEE ? SEE ? WHAT I DID THERE ?” “YEAH SUCKER. YOU USED A PUN FOR THE FIRST TIME IN YOUR LIFE” “HELL NO ! I AM PUN LORD” “NO YOU ARE POOP LORD. THAT’S IT” “SHUT UP, GUYS ! YOU ARE BEING SO UNCOOL”

"Shut up! " "Everything you said was connected to having ill fortune!" exclaimed Eric. "Recently, I've been trying to increase the amount of vegetables that I consume. If you increase the amount of vegetables in my diet, there is no way that I will become ill again. You're talking nonsense here. Why don't you get yourself a glass of aloe vera juice at the bar downstairs and bring it up here for me? "

He's about to loose it. "I'm last. Banana right? Fine, just don't laugh. You must be a banana, 'cause I find you very A-PEELING?" I said rather in question since I wasn't sure if my joke was funny or not. But surprisingly, they all laughed. That's a relief. "Oh, this one. It's an Olive. OLIVE you so much that it hurts! HAHAHA!" Ione remembered. "That's nothing, listen to mine. You make my heart skip BEET! HAHAHA! The vegetable! Burned!" Harry said.

Fucking Hormones. "Damn, cutting vegetables is hard. Ash where are you?!" I whinned while cutting carrot..... Carrots, bunny eats carrot and Aiden looked like a bunny when he laughed that day.... Wait... Why am I recalling that shitty day... No Amara! concentrate. Think about something else... Yeah world's costliest coffee is made by an animal's poop.

"There is every shape vegetable on the planet in there. One of them will surely do." No. I did not hear him correctly. I looked closer at the box of vegetables. Several were phallic shaped. He wouldn't. Ever so slowly, I turned so I faced him. My hands found one of the vegetables in question. Brack stupidly held his ground. The satisfying thunk when it hit his chest did nothing to alleviate my anger. I chucked the next one at his face. When he raised his arms to block it, I threw another. "Stop," he said as he backed up a step.