Why Do I Even Bother Novels & Stories

Daisy grumbled. The idea intrigued me. But I can’t, not yet. I have to fix this mess first. Maybe once we have a solid plan again, I’ll give in and get wasted. Sometimes I find myself just asking: why is all this happening? I stared into space, thinking of ways to address this issue. But nothing. My brain isn’t helping anymore. This is so fucked up.

This lifestyle offers no contrast or improvement if I persist in enduring it in this manner. "Why is everything so boring?" This was the ultimate question that resounded within me, a testament to my futile attempts at finding a worthwhile pursuit within the confines of my room. I am averse to leaving this space and exposing myself to the watchful gazes of the numerous attendants who undoubtedly report my every move to him. Although he hasn't explicitly restricted my movements within his residence, I am wary of inviting trouble. A mere accident, like accidentally breaking a delicate ornament, could result in a substantial financial penalty.

The kind that does not go away just because you ignore it. My life is becoming more like a documentary,i flinch boring and hectic

"A reason is something you want. Something you choose. Something that matters to you. Not something you do because other people are doing it." "I do not know what I want." "Then figure it out." "How." "By paying attention. By trying things. By making mistakes. By changing your mind. By starting over. By doing all of it badly until you figure out how to do it well." "That sounds exhausting." "It is. That is the point. Life is exhausting. But it is also beautiful. And you do not get the beautiful without the exhausting." The eggs are cold now. The toast is cold now. The coffee is cold now.

At some point I ought to turn them off because they can be a damn nuisance. Now, I am distracted, and I haven’t even started writing. Typical of me, I can’t resist. Maybe I have FOMO? In any case, I pick my mobile up from by myside and bring the top down to see what I could potentially be missing. Shit, I also have to remember to set up a new business account on my profiles, the sooner I get this done the better.

I need to retaliate for my folks at the earliest opportunity. I attempt to let myself know that is the main justification for why I need to be a Spier, however, I realize that isn't correct. Making requests to be given a man I can scarcely try and consider without either blowing up or thrilled. Presently I'm left with him (or is it the opposite way around?) for eternity. For what reason does that not repulse me? A bizarre inquiry starts to pound at me, startling me to pieces. I stuff it into the profundities of my brain, staying away from it.

I felt the first real prickle of unease move through me. "No, I don't need anything from you. I'm trying to start a conversation with you and you sound like I'm bothering you so I'll just take my leave now." He didn't even bother calling me back even though I slowed down a little bit to see if he was going to call me back. I even looked back at him, but he wasn't paying attention to me. There's one more place I need to confirm this, before I fully understand that they have lost their mind and I shouldn't bother with them anymore. I went looking for Blaze next.

What the hell am I to expect? I shook my head and turned to my books. I shouldn't over think it. It might be nothing after all. I need to get back to school stuff even though I didn't need them. I just needed a distraction. This silly thought of fucking him has to let me be...

The only thing I can do is sit at my desk and continue to highlight the weekend reports of ad revenue spending over the holidays. Even as I grab the highlighter and go back to my task, I berate myself. The scary part is I sound exactly like my mother. Why am I so stupid? What was I thinking? What will Vincent do? How can we get over this? Can we even get over this? Why do I even care since there's no way I'm pregnant? An hour later I'm on my last page of reports when my phone vibrates on the desk and a text shows on the screen for half a second.

Jayla Later that evening, I am still in my room and I try to write an English paper which is due next week. I really shouldn't hurry to do it but I just want to do it and get it over with. But the problem is that no matter how I try, I can't just seem to focus on it and that is because there is only one thing or rather, person in my mind.