Why Do I Hate Repeating Myself Novels & Stories

“I sincerely apologize for every stupid thing I’ve done. Everything.” His opening remarks didn’t impress me. “Noah, I've had enough of your apologies. It’s like a toxic, repetitive cycle. You do something bad, apologize, and do it again. Your apologies mean nothing anymore. It’s like a morning routine, like brushing your teeth or washing your face. It keeps going on and on. Nothing’s changed. I’m fucking done with every single one of it.” Noah sighed. He fidgeted probably thinking of another way to convince me otherwise.

He turned his gaze to the window instead, but not before his words fell heavy between us. "When you repeat something over and over to different people, it tends to stick." His lips twisted into a sad smile. "Not that they're much different-same power-hungry old men. Just differing degrees of baldness. Differing sizes of potbellied stomachs, filled with SM's riches." For a brief second, a spark lit his eyes-only to die just as quickly. Then he looked back at me. "Don't try to change the topic. Why do you hate me?"

Talking to Elissa is something that is really fun, only the problem is that I also never want Elissa to think all kinds of bad things and then Elissa will feel bored with all the stories that I keep repeating all day long. "I'm sorry, Elissa. I really didn't expect that in the end I would feel something like this, I kept telling you about the same problem over and over again in such a very annoying way. I hope I will never say all this again and tell you, once again I'm sorry if what I said was too much."

“I don’t see you that way I never did so you shouldn’t ever say somethimg like that again.” I turned to face him, angry tears welling up in my eyes. “I really admire how noble you are Tristan, but that only makes me hate myself even more.” He frowned. “why do you hate yourself.” “don’t you get it?” I almost yelled in frustration. “I hate- no, I loathe myself so much because I know that staying away from you is the right thing to do, not wanting you is the right thing to do because gary is a scumbag for what he did but I can’t stop myself from wanting you all the same. I force myself to stay away, I make myself so busy so I don’t have to think abpout you but it’s killing me inside because I k

Not giving him enough time to interrupt with his protests, I carry on. "I hate myself for hurting you and that hatefulness only grows every time I see you." I state, feeling my voice shake. Composing myself, I continue. "I can feel it happening, Rio. This hate and anger I feel for myself, its eating me up. I'm spiralling down and I refuse to take you with me. I don't want us to end up like them." I say, chocking on my words slightly. Rio sighs in frustration and I can tell he's at a loss for words. He knows who I'm referring to as we've had many previous conversations about the issue.

Looking at the mirrors, I had the same feeling I had back in the mansion. I know she was falling for me but why was I not able to control myself in front of her. So many questions were raised to me in front of my eyes. The face I was looking at in the mirror was someone I hate the most right now. I punched my right hand in the mirror, making the breaking sounds and hurting my hands again. It was like a disorder to me. whenever I was disappointed with myself, I hurt myself for the sole reason, hatred for myself. “What’s that sound, who’s there?” One of the staff shouted out from the bathroom and entered panicking.

Mykel broke in gently, "easy. Take a breath. Try again. Slowly." I screwed my eyes tightly closed and shook my head as if trying to dispel the stutter from my mind as if shaking my head would make it forever leave me. "I w-was afraid th-that if I made you feel worse about it th-that y-y-you'd do it a-a-ag-ain. S-so I thought that it might be better if I just...dealt with this on my own...'cause if dealing w-wi-with i-it on mmm-m-my o-own kept y-you ffffr-frrr-from killing yourself then th-that's what I w-would d-d-do." I sighed in an exasperated manner at myself. I hate when I stutter. It always makes me feel inadequate, even today. "I won't ever put you or Liz, for that matter, through this

“Yes, I hate her,” he replied, and even though I should have expected it, it still felt like a punch straight to the gut “I hate her because I spent years trying to forget her, trying to move on. Trying to become a new man. I tried so hard that, for a short time, I even convinced myself that I would be immune to her if she ever showed up again. I tried to convince myself that thinking about her all the time and missing her meant nothing. I did everything I could to rebuild myself after what she did… And yet, just one look at her and it all felt meaningless. One day around her again and I realized all my effort was in vain.”

“I’m… I mean yes. I did.” “And you came here?” “Yes.” “Because…” I don’t answer. But he just waits, not supplying any rescue. I swallow and try again. “Because I didn’t want you to be alone. I get what… I get what it’s like. To be in that place. And I went there so many times… I mean, I’ve been there so many times. And sometimes I hated myself for doing it. And sometimes I hated life so much I just didn’t want to remember anymore.”