Why Do I Hate Repeating Myself Novels & Stories

Willow No matter how hard I tried to forget it, the memory just wouldn't budge. It felt like it had been permanently etched into my mind and no matter how hard I tried to get rid of it, I was only wasting my time. It didn't help that I was a chronic over thinker. Even the littlest inconvenience could have me thinking about a million and one ways how I could have avoided it or how I could have acted differently to change the outcome. I hated this. I hated feeling like this.

The clink of his glass hitting the table cut the air. “Again.” My stomach dropped. “What—” He didn’t even look up. “I hate repeating myself.” I untucked the sheets and redid them, moving slower now, my thighs burning every time I crouched to get the right angle. “Again.” Just kill me and get it over with already. “Again.” I wanted to scream. To throw the pillows across the room. Instead, I kept going, each corner folding sharper than the last. My bones throbbed, my back ached, and still—

"Do I really have to repeat myself or do you people just intentionally want to pretend like you didn't hear me the first time? " There was still an eerie silence and for the first time in a very long time, I was tempted to throw what was in my hand and just smash it across the room, hoping that it shatters one of the numerous glasses looking at me and hopefully, opens their mouths to answer me. "You do not have to repeat yourself Sir" One of them from the back of the room said. Then there was another round of silence. Gosh! I was going to lose it soon. "Okayyy...?" I asked impatiently.

The forty-third time by: "Maybe if you didn't disappear or go off on your own, I wouldn't have had to call you." The fifty-first time by: "I'll never say I have a crush on you again, trust me." The sixty-fourth time by: "Why don't you just chain me up and give me to William while you are there? You probably want him to take me away." And I just kept going and going. The longer I went, the more tired I got, and my insults stopped being so narrow and were much broader. Not to mention a lot more vulgar. "I hate you" was repeated a few times.

What a mess, what a horrible mess. I've really made a mess of things this time, and though I knew there was no point in me sitting here feeling sorry for myself, I can't seem to dredge up the energy for anything else. The longer I sat there replaying the last decade in my head, the more the hate grew. It wasn't long before a thought started forming in my head. It won't change what's already been done, but it sure as hell would fix some of what I'd done wrong.

“It’s a good thing you’re not mated to each other then… seeing as you’re so different from each other.” Right. We’re very different. We’d never work. I repeat this to myself over and over. I read somewhere that repeating a thing over and over leads you to believing it, and it eventually comes true. We’d never work. I say ten times. We’d never work, I say twenty times. We’re too different, I say thirty times. I wonder how many more times I have to say it before I finally stop imaging his mouth against mine.

I hated myself but why can't I just hate him too? .

I said, walking back to my car. "Why don't you think twice?" "Coz, I won't repeat my same mistakes twice" "Aww, that's what I love the most about you is your attitude, sweety," She says in a baby tone. "And that's what I hate the most about you is you think yourself too much" I hissed again. "Thinking myself too much is a bad thing? I don't think so" "Yes, it is, what are your plans, why are you here for?" I questioned.

"Feeling used but I'm still missing you And I can't see the end of this Just wanna feel your kiss against my lips And now all this time is passing by But I still can't seem to tell you why It hurts me every time I see you Realize how much I need you I hate you, I love you I hate that I love you I don't want to but I can't put Nobody else above you I hate you, I love you I hate that I want you You want her, you need her And I'll never be her......." (Note:"I Hate U, I Love U" is a song by American singer and rapper Gnash featuring American singer Olivia O'Brien. It was released on February 17, 2016)