愛された代償は傷跡だけ

Ella POV

“Luna, you...only have one year to live.” The doctor slowly took her glasses off and stared at the floor. “Your wolf has entered a dormant state.”

I couldn’t believe Dr. Evelyn’s words.

“My wolf… is dormant?” I breathed. “Surely there must be a mistake—”

“I’m sorry, Luna, but we double-checked the test results. This disease can be caused by long-term stress and…” She paused, giving me an uncertain look. “...Lack of intimacy with one’s found but unmarked fated mate.”

I swallowed hard. Stress and a lack of intimacy with my mate…

That did sound like my life.

“Based on the few rare cases I could find, I am supposed to suggest you to mark your fated mate or reject each other completely. But you are my Luna, and your fated mate is our Alpha…” Dr. Evelyn sounded uncertain.

“I’m not even marked yet,” I whispered, trying not to confuse this kind young woman anymore than I already had.

Dr. Evelyn looked up at me in surprise. “You and Alpha Alexander aren’t marked? But you’re married.”

I bit my lip, my face flushing hot with embarrassment. It was true; I was married to my fated mate, Alpha Alexander Solace of Ashclaw pack. We had been man and wife for five years, and should have been marked by now.

But we weren’t.

From the moment I recognized him as my fated mate on the annual Alpha ball, I was captivated by him—his handsome yet stubborn jaw, the shock of red hair atop his head, his sage green eyes. He was a remarkable leader, too, intelligent and headstrong and everything an Alpha should be.

However, on our mating day, Alexander had handed me a contract and told me to sign it.

“Our relationship will be purely contractual,” he had said. “For my Alpha reputation, I can’t reject my fated mate. But I won’t mark you, and there will be no intimacy. End of story.”

I did think about taking all the blame and rejecting Alexander after finding out that he was just a jerk, but my father, Alpha Richard Eden of Stormhollow pack, had insisted that I accept in order to gain Ashclaw’s support.

My father had said he was too old to continue managing Stormhollow, and my younger half-brother, Brian, was too young and naive to handle it on his own. We desperately needed Ashclaw’s help.

After all, Alexander was a formidable Alpha; he had taken over Ashclaw at a young age following his parents’ untimely death. Ashclaw didn’t just survive under a teenager’s rule—it thrived.

And besides, my father had raised me to be the perfect Luna—the gentle and obedient woman who would stand alongside an Alpha. It was what I was meant to do, and so, when my father pleaded with me to put my feelings aside and marry Alexander, I had obeyed. As always.

Like a good little girl, I married him. I signed the contract.

I became his Luna in title and responsibility, but behind closed doors, we were nothing to each other. I moved into the west wing of his mansion, all the way on the opposite side of the house from his quarters.

And intimacy? That was entirely out of the question. Even when I initially tried to garner his affection by preparing meals, setting up dates, even just trying to bump into him in the hallway, he didn’t reciprocate.

Eventually, I gave up. I remained obedient and quiet and hardworking and bottled it all up, even if it broke my heart to think that my husband would never love me.

Somehow, I had a feeling that even if I told Alexander about my death sentence now, he still wouldn’t love me.

“One year, Luna,” Dr. Evelyn said gently as I gathered my things. “If you want to live, you must make a decision: mark Alpha Alexander or… reject him.”

Lilith, my Gamma maid, was waiting for me in the lobby. She wore a simple gray cardigan and a skirt today, her silver hair pulled back into its usual neat bun. She rose quickly from her seat when she saw me coming.

“Well? How did it go?”

I took her hand and pulled her out of the hospital, into the cool spring air. The breeze cooled my flushed cheeks, and the scent of blooming flowers soothed me somewhat. I always loved spring the most, and the thought of never experiencing another one again was almost too much to bear.

“I’m dying,” I said simply.

Lilith stopped short. “You… what?” The words came out choked, and when I looked at her, there were already tears welling up in her weathered hazel eyes.

The sight of her made tears well up in my own, too. Lilith was old enough to be my mother, but she felt more like a sister to me. The thought of leaving her felt even worse than the thought of never seeing spring again.

I took her hand and squeezed it.

“My wolf is dormant after all,” I said calmly, evenly, as if we were discussing the weather—partially because I feared that if anyone else saw me crying or trembling, they might talk, claim that the lovelorn Luna of Ashclaw was finally crumbling. “I have a year to live.”

Lilith sniffled. “I told you to go to the doctor sooner, you silly girl. You should have gone a long time ago, the very moment you started noticing your wolf fading. They could have caught it, treated it before—”

“There is a way to fix this.” I pulled my shoulders back and leveled my friend with an even stare. “Alexander needs to mark me or reject me—one or the other. If he chooses one of those options, then I will live.”

Relief washed over the Gamma’s features, but it was short-lived. “Which do you think he would choose?” she whispered, low enough so only I could hear. “Do you think you can handle it if he breaks up with you?”

I hated to admit it, but the very thought of our marriage ending made my heart stutter painfully in my chest. We didn’t have a relationship, not in the ways that mattered, but… a small part of me wanted him to mark me and not reject me.

Finally, I managed, “We’ll have to find out.”

“So you’re going to make him choose,” she said.

I nodded. Lilith’s eyes widened as I turned abruptly and made my way to the car.

Her shock wasn’t misplaced, however; I had always pushed down my own wants and needs for the sake of being a competent Luna for the pack and Alexander, and it wasn’t like me to suddenly advocate for myself.

But what else could I do? I had to save myself. I could no longer be Ella, the selfless Luna who would push through heartbreak and loneliness and sickness without a complaint.

For once, I had to stand up for myself.

It was either that… or lose my life at just twenty-two years old.

When we returned to the mansion, I was unsurprised to find that Alexander was holed up in his study. He always was—rather than wandering the vast halls of the ancient manor or enjoying the many sunrooms and sitting rooms the space had to offer, he was always locked up in that stuffy office, poring over paperwork.

I strode up to the large wooden double doors, hearing Alexander’s deep voice rumbling from within. His Beta, Gabriel, was standing sentry outside—and stepped in my way just as I reached for the handle.

“You don’t have an appointment,” Gabriel grunted.

“I need to speak to my husband.”

“Well, then you should have made an appointment sooner. The Alpha is indisposed at the moment—he’s in the middle of a meeting. One that you are not invited to.”

I bristled at the Beta’s insubordination. Gabriel had always looked down on me, had always disrespected me. And I had let him.

But no more. When you only have a year left to live, you suddenly don’t have time anymore to maintain the image of a gentle wolfling who rolls over at the slightest provocation. Especially not with subordinates.

“Move,” I commanded.

Gabriel stiffened, his brown eyes taking on that ethereal golden glow that I had only seen before when Alexander used his Alpha voice.

I had never used my Luna voice before. But I had to admit… It felt good to finally use it now.

Gabriel’s jaw clenched, and I knew he didn’t want to move. But he had no choice. His muscles moved of their own accord, neck tilting slightly as if to bare his throat to me. I lifted my chin and waited, willing my face into a mask of authoritative calm.

Finally, he stepped aside. “As you wish, Luna.”

I gritted my teeth and flung the door open, storming inside.