CHAPTER 14

Hindi ko alam kung kailan naging parte ng routine ko ang paghihintay sa isang text mula kay Dominic.

Pero nitong mga nakaraang araw, parang may kulang kapag walang notification mula sa kanya.

Hindi naman kailangan.

Hindi naman kami magkasintahan.

At lalong hindi naman namin kailangang mag-good morning o good night sa isa't isa.

Pero kagabi, bago ako matulog, ilang beses kong tiningnan ang phone ko.

Wala.

Napabuntong-hininga ako.

“Amara, ano ba.”

Ibinaba ko ang phone sa bedside table at pumikit.

Five minutes later, kinuha ko ulit.

Wala pa rin.

Napailing ako sa sarili ko.

Hindi ko dapat hinihintay.

Kaya nang mag-vibrate ang phone ko kinabukasan habang nag-aalmusal ako, muntik ko nang mabitawan ang kutsara.

Dominic:

Are you free this afternoon?

Tinitigan ko ang message.

Simple.

Diretso.

Very Dominic.

Me:

Why?

Ilang segundo lang bago siya sumagot.

Dominic:

I need to check something at the property.

Napataas ang kilay ko.

Me:

That's all?

Matagal bago siya nag-reply.

Dominic:

Do you want me to give you a more interesting reason?

Napangiti ako nang hindi ko namamalayan.

Me:

Try.

Lumabas ang typing indicator.

Nawala.

Bumalik.

Nawala ulit.

Then—

Dominic:

I wanted to see you.

Natigilan ako.

Parang biglang naging mas tahimik ang buong kusina.

I read the message twice.

Tatlong beses.

Bago ko pinatay ang screen.

“Okay.”

Huminga ako nang malalim.

“Okay lang.”

Pero hindi ko maipaliwanag kung bakit biglang uminit ang pisngi ko.

---

By three in the afternoon, nasa property na ako.

At gaya ng inaasahan, nandoon na si Dominic.

Nakatayo siya sa tabi ng lumang function hall, kausap ang isang contractor. Nakasuot siya ng simple at dark na polo shirt, nakatiklop ang manggas hanggang siko.

Hindi siya mukhang Managing Director ng isang malaking kumpanya.

Mas mukha siyang ordinaryong lalaki na may pupuntahang importante.

Nang mapansin niya ako, tumigil siya sa pakikipag-usap.

“You're late.”

Napatingin ako sa relo ko.

“Three minutes.”

“Four.”

“Grabe. Binibilang mo talaga?”

“Usually.”

“Scary.”

Bahagya siyang ngumiti.

“Good afternoon, Amara.”

“Good afternoon.”

Lumapit siya.

“Have you eaten?”

Napapikit ako sandali.

“Hindi mo na ba ako kayang kausapin nang hindi tinatanong kung kumain na ako?”

“Apparently not.”

Napailing ako.

“Hindi pa.”

“Why?”

“Busy.”

“That's not an answer.”

“It's literally an answer.”

Tinitigan niya ako nang ilang segundo.

Then he turned to the contractor.

“Give us ten minutes.”

“Sir—”

“I'll call you.”

Tumango ang lalaki at umalis.

Napatingin ako kay Dominic.

“Ano 'yon?”

“Lunch.”

“Hindi ako gutom.”

“You said you haven't eaten.”

“Hindi ibig sabihin—”

“There's a café nearby.”

“Dominic.”

“Ten minutes.”

“Hindi ako bata.”

“I know.”

“Then stop treating me like one.”

Huminto siya.

Hindi siya nainis.

Hindi rin siya sumagot agad.

Instead, tumingin siya sa akin nang diretso.

“I'm not.”

Tahimik ako.

“Then bakit?”

Bahagya siyang nagkibit-balikat.

“Because I care if you're okay.”

Simple lang niyang sinabi.

Walang drama.

Walang malalim na tingin.

Pero somehow, iyon ang mas nakapagpatahimik sa akin.

“Ah.”

That was all I could say.

Tumalikod siya.

“Come on.”

---

Hindi kami nagpunta sa mamahaling restaurant.

Isang maliit na café lang sa kanto malapit sa property.

Nag-order siya ng sandwich at coffee.

Ako, pasta.

“Hindi ka ba sanay kumain sa ganito?” tanong ko.

“Bakit?”

“Hindi ko alam. Akala ko may private dining room ka sa office.”

“Meron.”

“Exactly.”

“But I don't always use it.”

Napatingin ako sa paligid.

“May point ka naman.”

Umupo siya sa tapat ko.

For a few minutes, tahimik lang kami.

Hindi awkward.

Hindi rin pilit.

Just quiet.

Until I noticed the way he kept looking outside the window.

Parang may iniisip.

“Dominic.”

“Yes?”

“Okay ka lang?”

Napatingin siya sa akin.

“I'm fine.”

“Liar.”

Bahagya siyang natawa.

“That's bold.”

“Matagal na kitang kilala.”

“It's been a few weeks.”

“Exactly. Enough to know you're not fine.”

Hindi siya sumagot.

I waited.

Eventually, he leaned back in his chair.

“My father used to bring me to that property.”

Napatingin ako sa labas.

“Doon?”

He nodded.

“When I was young.”

“Bago nagkaroon ng dispute?”

“Yes.”

“Anong ginagawa ninyo?”

For the first time since I met him, nakita kong nagbago ang expression niya.

Hindi malungkot.

Pero softer.

“Nothing important.”

“Sure?”

“We'd walk around. He'd tell me stories about the people who built the place.”

“Hindi tungkol sa business?”

“Sometimes.”

“Sounds nice.”

He looked down at his coffee.

“It was.”

Tahimik ako.

Hindi ko alam kung dapat pa ba akong magtanong.

Pero gusto kong malaman.

“Close kayo?”

Matagal siyang hindi sumagot.

“Were.”

Isang salita.

Pero sapat na para maintindihan kong may bagay siyang ayaw pag-usapan.

“Sorry.”

He shook his head.

“Don't be.”

“Hindi ko naman alam.”

“Exactly.”

Tumingin siya sa akin.

“You don't have to apologize for asking.”

Napangiti ako nang kaunti.

“Ang weird mo.”

“Why?”

“Hindi ka pala mahirap kausap kapag gusto mo.”

“Hindi ko sinabing madali akong kausap.”

“Fair.”

Nagkatinginan kami.

At sa unang pagkakataon, hindi ko naramdaman na kailangan kong umiwas.

---

Pagbalik namin sa property, naglakad kami sa hallway nang magkatabi.

Walang legal team.

Walang contractors.

Walang ibang tao.

Kami lang.

“May itatanong ako,” sabi ko.

“Go.”

“Bakit ayaw mong magpakasal?”

Huminto siya.

Ako rin.

I immediately regretted asking.

“Never mind.”

“It's okay.”

Hindi siya gumalaw.

“Marriage isn't something I want to enter just because people expect it from me.”

“That's reasonable.”

“I've seen what happens when people stay together because they think they have no choice.”

Nawala ang ngiti ko.

“Your parents?”

He nodded once.

“Maybe.”

“Hindi mo sila masyadong pinag-uusapan.”

“I don't talk about things I haven't figured out.”

“Hindi ba parang ang hirap no'n?”

“Yes.”

“Then why do it?”

“Because pretending I understand something when I don't is worse.”

I looked at him.

“That's… surprisingly honest.”

“I try.”

“Hindi ka mukhang taong marunong umamin.”

His eyebrow lifted.

“About what?”

“Anything.”

He smiled faintly.

“Maybe I just don't like wasting words.”

“That's convenient.”

“For me, yes.”

Napatawa ako.

At napangiti rin siya.

For a moment, everything felt simple.

No property dispute.

No old documents.

No missing page.

No families.

Just us, standing in an old hallway and talking about something that had nothing to do with business.

Until he spoke again.

“I don't think marriage should be an obligation.”

I looked at him.

“It should be a choice.”

Something about the way he said it made me remember our first negotiations.

The way he always asked.

The way he never forced.

The way he would say You decide.

I nodded slowly.

“I agree.”

He looked at me.

“Do you?”

“Yes.”

“Then why do you look worried?”

Napahinga ako nang malalim.

“Because sometimes, people say they give you a choice…”

I paused.

“…pero may gusto na silang sagot.”

His expression changed.

Just slightly.

“I know.”

“That's why I don't like being cornered.”

“Neither do I.”

Tahimik ulit.

Then he said something I didn't expect.

“If anyone ever makes you feel like you don't have a choice, tell me.”

Napatingin ako sa kanya.

“Why?”

“Because you shouldn't have to stay where you don't want to be.”

I stared at him.

There was no teasing in his face.

No hidden intention.

Just certainty.

And for some reason, that made my chest feel tight.

“Dominic…”

“Yes?”

“Thank you.”

He nodded.

“Anytime.”

---

Nang pauwi na ako, napansin kong may naiwan akong folder sa table.

Bumalik ako sa hallway.

Narinig ko ang boses ni Dominic mula sa kabilang room.

Hindi ko sinasadyang marinig ang usapan nila ng lawyer.

“Sir, kailangan nating magdesisyon bago dumating ang deadline.”

“Hindi pa.”

“But the board needs an answer.”

“I said not yet.”

Tahimik ako sa labas.

Then the lawyer spoke again.

“Kung hindi natin tatanggapin ang settlement, maaaring mawalan tayo ng pagkakataong—”

“Then we wait.”

“Sir—”

“Hindi ako pipirma sa bagay na hindi pa niya naiintindihan.”

Natigilan ako.

Hindi niya.

Ako.

Hindi ko alam kung bakit parang may kung anong gumalaw sa loob ng dibdib ko.

I quietly stepped back before they could see me.

Paglabas ko ng property, nakita kong nakatayo si Dominic sa may p***o.

“May naiwan ka?”

Tumango ako.

“Folder.”

Iniabot niya sa akin.

“Here.”

“Thanks.”

I held the folder against my chest.

For a moment, neither of us moved.

Then he said—

“Get home safely.”

“I will.”

“Text me.”

Napangiti ako.

“Bakit?”

“Because I asked.”

“That's not very convincing.”

“Fine.”

He paused.

“Because I'll worry.”

Nawala ang ngiti ko.

And there it was again.

That strange feeling.

Hindi ko pa alam kung ano ito.

Hindi ko rin gustong pangalanan.

Pero habang naglalakad ako palayo sa kanya, isang bagay ang malinaw.

Hindi na lang ako curious tungkol kay Dominic Sinclair.

Unti-unti ko na siyang gustong makilala.

Hindi bilang Sinclair heir.

Hindi bilang Managing Director.

Hindi bilang taong nasa kabilang panig ng dispute ng pamilya namin.

Kundi bilang si Dominic.

Ang lalaking tahimik kapag nasasaktan.

Ang lalaking hindi madaling magsabi ng nararamdaman.

At ang lalaking, sa kabila ng lahat ng kapangyarihang hawak niya, ay tila pinaka-mahalaga sa kanya ang isang bagay—

ang pagpili.

Hindi ko pa alam kung bakit mahalaga sa akin iyon.

Pero marahil, darating ang araw na malalaman ko.

At baka sa araw na iyon…

hindi na rin ako makapagsinungaling sa sarili ko tungkol sa kung ano na talaga ang nararamdaman ko para sa kanya.