Tears for Fears

"Oh my gosh, you're here!" Maxine exaggerately said. Patakbo siyang pumunta sakin kahit naka 7-inches heels. 

I laughed. From the outside, sobrang mukha siyang sophisticated pero pag kasama namin siya parang nagiging bata.

"Of course. Last na 'to remember?" I smiled. Pero agad ding nawala kasi nalukot 'yong ngiti nya. 

"What?" I asked.

"Y'all reminds me all the time that this is the last, hindi ba pwedeng enjoy nalang? Nalulungkot ako pagnaaalala na ga-graduate na tayo, " she pouted.

"Right. I-enjoy nalang natin" i consoled her with a hug.

Bimitaw din agad siya sa yakap. "Oh right! Let's party people!" She cheered at saka ako hinila sa dancefloor.

Natatawa nalang akong nagpahila sa kanya. Sumiksik kami sa gitna ng dance floor ngunit hindi ko pinapalampas bawat mukha na makikita ko. I need to find Harry. Sobrang daming tao kaya mahirap hanapin lalo na't madilim, tanging mga malilikot na lights lang ang tanging pag-asa ko.

"Sorry, " hingi ko ng tawad sa pang-ilan ko nang nabubunggo sa dancefloor kakahanap kay Max. Nabitawan niya kasi 'yong kamay ko nang nagpumilit siyang sumiksik sa dancefloor. 

The vocalist of the band made the crowd hype up and it's now difficult to see the surrounding. They move and move to the center and jump.

Naiipit na ako!

Maybe God heard my prayer nang may biglang humila sa'kin paalis sa gitna.

I looked at the person who save me and felt relieved.

"Bitch, is your dream to be a fucking flying saucer?" The famous cursing machine Ody greeted me.

"Yeah, pleasant to see you too, " I sarcastically said.

"Where's Maxine and Freya?"

She didn't answer me but pointed at the side of the hall. There were Maxine and Freya talking to Jasper and Wesley.

We went to the table at the back of the hall. It is a high round table pero walang upuan kaya nakatayo silang apat doon. I don't exactly know what it's called but I've seen one in movies.

Ginala ko ang mga mata ko pero still, no Harry showing up.

Narinig kong nagchichikahan sila Ody patungkol sa planong mag night out sa sembreak pero hindi ko pinagtuonan ng pansin iyon.

Me: Hey, how's the party?

I really should be careful baka nakita niya na ako kaya hindi siya nagpaparamdam. 

Hindi pwede, masisira yung surprise ko pagnagkataon. Kailangan, maniwala talaga siya na hindi ako makakapunta ngayon. 

So I calmed myself and patiently scanned the whole hall to make sure my eyes didn't miss any single trace of him.

Umingay lalo ang hall nang napalitan ng Dj yung banda. Mas lalo akong kinabahan. Pupunta kaya sya?

Nag-aya sila Max sakin na mag sasayaw sa dance floor but I declined. Still busy waiting for his text and finding him inside the hall.

"What's wrong?" Freya and the two already came back hindi na nila kasama sila Jasper at Wesley. Malamang nakahanap na ang mga gunggong na 'yon ng prospect. Halos hindi ko na napansin kung ga' no sila katagal bago bumalik.

I looked at them. Finding words to answer. Bumuka ang bibig ko para sumagot pero walang salitang lumabas.

The three gave me a confuse look. Nanuyot ang lalamunan ko. Mas lalo lang silang nag hihinala!

"Are you keeping secrets Joy?" Ody eyed me dangerously.

I bit my lip. God, pa'no ko sasabihin? Mag sisinungaling ba ako? Shit.

They don't know about me and Harry. They do not know that I have this mutual feelings with Harry and it's fucking a year already! Ga'nong katagal ko nang sinisekreto. 

Ilang beses ko nang prina-practice sabihin pero ang hirap lalo na at iba ang tingin nila kay Harry. I've been listening for their rants with Harry, maraming pagkakataon na actually, na kesyo jerk daw at babaero ngunit hanggang doon lang ang alam ko at ayokong bumase nalang sa mga narinig ko.

For me, the opinion of others to a particular person didn't matters as long as mabait ka sa'kin at wala kang ginagawang masama, we're okay. Pero ibang usapan na kung napatunayan ko ngang tama ang sinasabi ng iba. 

And yes, maybe Harry has this air of a bad boy but I'm still hoping that I would be the one to make him change. Na ako ang katapat niya para gustuhing magbago.

After all, he wouldn't be with me for a year if he's not serious right?

One year, yeah, but why didn't he asked you already to be his girl? 

A bitter thought suddenly pop in my mind.

No. Hindi ako papayag na lamunin ako ng insecurities ko. Maybe he's taking his time. He don't want me to be rushed. At least I have him. 'Yon ang pang hahawakan ko. 

"Nothing. Just on my period. " I shrugged.

They buy my reason but except for Ody who still eyeing me like I did something wrong.

Nag iwas na lang ako ng tingin. I sipped in my red cup and pretend that I'm busy entertaining my eyes by watching people dance.

My phone vibrated. Hindi nakatakas ang pag kunot ng noo ni Ody nang mag-ilaw ang phone ko sa mesa. I immediately grab my phone. It's Harry!

I sense that Ody remain staring at me kaya hindi ko muna binasa yung content ng message.

"Seriously?" Hindi makapaniwalang saad niya pagkatapos kong ibaba yung phone, not reading nor replying.

I looked up her. "Globe" I informed. "Suggesting promo, " I added. Making sure na bored ang tono.

Nawala na yung pagdududa sa mukha niya. She shooked her head. "Weirdo, " she said and left me to get some drinks.

I felt relieved. Buti nalang 'Globe' ang naka register na pangalan ni Harry. God. Muntik na ako duon!

I opened the message. Siniguro ko muna na hindi nakatingin ang dalawa dahil busy sila sa pag bungisngis sa kung anong dahilan.

Harry: Good. But it's better if you're here :(

Napanguso ako, tinatago ang ngiti at kilig.

I was about to reply when Max and Freya screamed.

"Oh my God! LANY!" they cheered when the familiar song of Lany played by the DJ. 

The two immediately grabbed me and went to the dancefloor. Napilitan akong itago ang phone. Both of them raised their hands at nakisabay sa pag fa-fan girl ng mga tao doon. I don't know what to do and left no choice but to sing with them.

I was enjoying singing when someone touched my butt. Hindi ko pinansin, maybe it was an accident but when I felt na parang sinasadya na, I turned around to see the pervert jerk. I was fumming mad and ready to slap him but my eyes caught someone behind the wild seniors dancing infront of me.

Hindi ako pwedeng mag kamali. Siya yon!

The pervert jerk keep on apologising to me na alam ko namang hindi sincere but that is not my concern anymore.

I mindlessly went back to our table. I hopefully scan the hall baka makita ko ulit si Harry. Wala na akong pakealam kung magalit sa'kin sila Max dahil bigla bigla nalang akong umaalis. All I want is to see him.

My heart is pounding exaggerately, hindi ko alam kung sa kaba o excitement. Maybe the latter because I need to surprise him and I want to be with him this night before I introduced him to my friends.

Pero natapos na 'yong kanta at lahat hindi ko siya nakita. Max and Freya went back to our table and I heard the emcee announcing a surprise for tonight but my mind is somemwhere. All I think is Harry. Siya kaya 'yon? Or I was just this desperate to see him tonight to the point na namamalik mata na ako?

I continously scanned the hall. I was literally hearing my fast heart beat kahit ang mga tili nila Max hindi na over-an non.

"Ladies and Gentlemen this is the night you've been waiting for..." Pang bibitin ng master of ceremony sa crowd at mas lalo lang lumakas ang hiyawan.

"We have finally picked who'll be this year's Found Night King and Queen!"

The crowd got wilder.

Niyugyog ako ni Max at Freya but my emotion stays impassive. "Shit. This is it guys. Nararamdaman ko na yung crown!" Max excitedly said.

"Drum roll please... " the emcee  requested.

"The Found Night King goes to..." The crowd cheered but I don't give a damn. All I think is Harry.

At kasabay ng pagtawag ng pangalan ng Found Night King ang pag dako ng paningin ko sa lalaking may binubulong sa isang babaeng nakatalikod sa'kin na nasa pinakadulo ng hall.

Harry.

Naghiyawan lahat ng tao. Tiniis ko ang sakit at pangangalay ng paa para lang makapunta sa pwesto ni Harry. Kumakalabog ang dibdib ko bawat yapak. Nanunuyot ang lalamunan ko at hindi ko na maintindihan yung sinasabi ng emcee.

"Joy! Where are you going?" Someone called me. 

Akala ko wala ng mas lalala pa sa kabog ng dibdib ko but not until I saw them leaving bago pa ako makalapit.

Napatigil ako. I don't see the girl's face pero kitang kita ko kung paano humawak sa bewang ng babae si Harry. Para akong pinag sakluban ng langit at lupa. Nanigas ako sa kinatatayuan ko. Hindi ako makahinga. Nanlalamig ang kalamnan ko kasama na pati puso.

They both laugh before they disappear in my sight.

"Joy..." 

The voice got nearer. May isinigaw yung emcee kaya humiyaw lahat ng tao. But all I could hear is the shattering of my broken heart.

"Joy! "

I was held by someone.

I was greeted by Max's smiling face, "You're the Found Night Queen!" she squealed but immediately died when she saw my face.

"H-hey, why are you crying?" Worry is written in her face.

I wanted to shout my anger and pain but I'm stupid enough to force a smile like my heart doesn't got shattered.

"Tears of Joy, " I said and cried harder.