ยัยแก้มกลมของนายวิศวะสุดร้าย ( So & JaoGaem )

{ Isabella }

Once upon a time, I used to have it all.

I used to be envied and admired, even feared sometimes.

Just one year ago, I was THAT girl. The girl everyone wants to be, the girl everyone gets compared to. I had everything I wanted in the palm of my hand, but after a few consecutive mistakes… I lost it.

I lost everything. I lost everyone. And I was publicly humiliated in the process.

It was so bad, I had to retract and start over. That’s why I’m currently sitting in the middle of the jungle, surrounded by a tribe, trying to heal in some kind of way. Any way possible.

So… I'm about to do some hippie drugs like a low class citizen. How deeply embarrassing. I cannot believe this is really my life now.

But if this is what I have to do to go back to the girl I used to be, I’ll do it. I’m that desperate.

"Are you ready?" Shaman Halix asks once we're done with the breathing exercises. I swallow nervously, but nod anyway, "Okay, drink this."

I drink it quickly so I don't have the taste in my mouth for too long and squeeze my eyes shut.

"Breathe through your nose, Isabella," Halix instructs me and once I do, I feel calmer, "Now, just relax. The journey is about to begin. There's absolutely nothing to be afraid of, I'll be with you every step of the way."

"Okay. I don't feel anything yet," I say, but as soon as I stop talking, my vision gets a little blurry, "Oh... I think..."

"Shh, be quiet. Let what needs to happen, happen. Stop taking note of everything," he scolds me lightly, “Keep breathing, like I taught you.”

I nod and try to keep focusing on my breathing, but a few seconds later, the colors around me start to blend together.

My heart races with fear and I turn to look everywhere, but it's all the same. The trees around me are no longer green, they're a different color I've never seen before.

"Holy shit," I blurt out and get up from the ground. I can feel Halix get up and follow me silently, "Holy shit."

Everything looks different. Reality itself is different. I hold up my hands and in them are shifting patterns that have never been there before, obviously.

What am I?

What the fuck is going on?

"Am I ever going to get back to normal?" I ask out loud as the panic inside of me starts to grow even more. Halix replies that of course I am, that this is momentary... but I suddenly realize he’s far, far away from me and I’m all alone.

I am all alone, actually. Not just here, but in general. I don’t have anyone, they all hate me.

A few seconds later, I’m lying on the ground with the grass under me. When I look to the left, I see a black wolf slowly approaching me. A black wolf with blue eyes, it looks very much like mine.

"Are you... my wolf?" I ask. Everything looks different except for her, she’s exactly the same. It brings me a little comfort.

"Yes," she replies inside my head, sitting her butt next to me and looking down at me. She feels so disappointed in me, "Why are you doing this?"

"I don't know. I don’t know anything anymore," I answer with a laugh that turns hysterical very quickly and becomes a cry in a matter of seconds... or maybe it's hours, "Do you hate me, too?”

"Yes," she answers easily, with absolute sincerity.

Surprisingly, I don’t feel too bad about her hating me because it’s nothing new, she has hated me for months. Actually, she has been my biggest enemy for a year now.

"You shouldn't hate me, Wolf. We're all we have."

"It's your fault we don't have anyone else. You made me walk away from my mate and my pup," she reminds me, causing a wave of nausea to form inside me, "It's all your fault."

She's right.

It’s my fault we lost Liam. It’s my fault we never got to have him the way we should’ve. And my pup… god, I can’t even think about her or I’ll go insane again.

I move my gaze upward, to the sky, letting my self-loathing take over for a moment.

The truth of the matter is… I’m worthless, I fully deserve everyone’s hate. I’m nothing but a horrible person, horrible daughter, horrible girlfriend, horrible mate, horrible mother and I could keep going forever, but the wind begins to communicate with me.

Every time it makes my hair fly, it tells me something different that I can't put into words, but it makes me feel peace and tranquility.

It tells me that nothing is irreparable. It tells me that bonds are forever, especially fated bonds.

It tells me that I'm not just someone horrible who deserves hate but I'm a complex human like everyone else. And then it fills me with love.

For the first time in a year, I feel like there's a small light outside the tunnel. It feels so good, I want to chase that feeling. I need it.

Maybe I can get out of this shithole. Maybe not all is lost. Maybe the wind is right.

“Isabella?” Someone asks to my right. It’s Liam, looking down at me.

I know it’s just a hallucination thanks to the ayahuasca, but he looks extremely real. I can even pick up his wildly sensual manly scent, as if he’s actually here. As if he would ever care enough about me to come to the damn jungle and look for me.

Liam hates my guts.

I lift a hand to him, unable to stop myself because I do love this man, so fucking much.

But… is the wind right? Could I ever fix what I broke so tremendously?

{ A year ago }

{ Isabella }

As soon as I came back to the Greyhound pack, everything went back to the way it was four years ago when I left.

I'm under the complete control of my parents, I'm talking to my old friends, I'm sleeping in my old bed and feeling just as lost and bored as I did back then.

I graduated from a prestigious college with one of the best GPAs and good connections. I could be a successful business woman if I wanted to. But the reality is… I don't want that.

During the past four years I realized I don't like the fast pace of the city life. I wouldn't like to work in an office ten hours a day just to get money or power when I don't need it.

I was born having money and power, why would I spend my life trying to get more? It doesn't make any sense.

All I want now is to be true to the fifteen year old Isabella who just wanted to be Luna of her pack to boss everyone around, call the shots, have a pretty pack and a powerful Alpha under her thumb.

Now that Theodore Heiden has grown up to become one of the most handsome men I've ever seen, that idea sounds more tantalizing than ever.

I literally only look at him for two seconds and decide he must be mine.

I get up from the table where I'm sitting with my friends and I walk over to the bar where Theodore is ordering something.

As I walk past him, I twist my ankle on purpose and I gasp in fear when I actually start to go down. For a second I’m scared about this going completely wrong. Maybe Theodore is not the gentleman I expected.

But I have nothing to fear because strong hands grab me before I fall and he pulls me up.

"Are you okay?" Theodore asks, looking at me with worried black eyes. He smells of slight concern and... attraction, "Miss?"

"I’m okay, my ankle just buckled," I lie and lean against his chest to regain my footing. I raise my eyes to his, "Thank you so much… uh, sorry, what’s your name? I'm basically new to the pack."

"Theodore Heiden," he answers with a slight smile and the quiet confidence of a man who knows the power he has, "And yours?"

"Isabella Mihdi," I answer, recognizing the slight twitch of his eyebrows at the sound of my last name. He's not the only powerful person around here.

"I know your father, actually," he replies. Before I can say anything to that, Theodore opens a seat at the bar for me, “You should sit and rest your ankle for a bit, I’ll keep you company.”

"Sounds lovely," I reply, trying to stop my smile of triumph while I sit. Men are so damn easy, “You should buy me a drink, as well.”

Theodore gives me a smile, as if he likes me being forward, then he orders a bottle of wine for us.

This man is going to be my husband, I don’t care what I have to do to make it happen.

I will be Isabella Heiden, Luna of Greyhound.

And no one is going to get in the way of what I want.