Chess Jokes Novels & Stories

“You’re a princess, Adam. A fucking princess.” I chuckle, swirling the champagne in my hand. “Why don’t you teach me? Before I throw the whole board at your face? How about that for a checkmate, Dave?” Dave almost chokes on his whiskey. “You sit your ass down and learn patience first. That’s what you’ll do. Chess is patience, bro. And you?” He points at me with his glass. “You’re one impatient motherfucker.” I just shake my head, lips tugging, but my eyes drift off.

I'd love for that truth. “Why not? Let's have it.” We moved to the right corner of the room where the chessboard silently laid. “I often use this board as my drawing board. Every day, I come to change my movements.” He laughed. I would have left his drunken a**, but what better way to scoop him off some information if not when his mental state is unstable? “Of course, chess is a giant game. It's not meant for everyone.” As he spoke, each moved his pieces across the 8×8 checkered board.

We stood there for a long time, savoring the tranquility between us. Eventually, Jacob brought out a chessboard, and we engaged in our favorite game. I growled in frustration as I realized he was winning – as usual. Jacob's calculative nature and intelligence gave him an edge, but I refused to give up. I smirked as I blocked his potential moves, but my triumph was short-lived. Jacob scratched his chin thoughtfully before checkmating me, and I lost once again.

But despite his silence, he was one to think, analyze, assess situations quickly and efficiently and after a beat, he finally answered. “In a game of chess,” he began slowly, his voice deep and detached in my mind, “there are two players: a foolish one and a smart one. The foolish player rushes forward, believing he has found the king… only to realize he chased a shadow, to realize he had been tricked.” He paused, letting the words settle before continuing.

This was way above our league. We ordered, and while we waited, he kept the jokes coming, each one dumber than the last. “What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?” he asked, his grin wide. I rolled my eyes. “Nacho cheese. Come on, Liam, I’m mourning, not a five-year-old.” “Right, right. My apologies, ma’am. I’ll stick to the sophisticated ones. What did one plate say to the other?” “I have no idea,” I said, rolling my eyes.

- A lady aborted me saying things related to chess too, on my birthday. - Why didn't you tell me before? - Are you serious? - I thought I was drunk or that she was - He sits next to me on the couch. - Another witch? What did she say exactly? - About chess moves and opponents who control life. She scared me-I say reflecting her words. "We lost that piece but that doesn't mean it can't be used for another purpose" - I think someone important died - I say looking at nothing - She said about the loss of an important piece - I say and Dom touches my hair

"It's obvious." Did my prudish wife just make a sex joke? I drew my bottom lip between my teeth to trap my laughter. I had a feeling she wouldn't appreciated it. "Obvious, hm?" She turned crimson, and with expertise, she swayed the conversation in a different direction. "So, big fan of chess? It's a tad obsessive to have a board in your room, no?" She pointed at my glass chessboard on the coffee table in front of me. "Is it a hobby?"

Jacobs spoke again. “Y-Yeah.” “I think the owner really loves playing chess and cooking at the same time. He thought of something that he could make while playing chess, and voila, he came up with a coffee shop with a chess theme. Brilliant.” “R-Right…” Ah, I really feel nervous. I’m more nervous about being with Mr. Jacobs than when I’m with Vincent. I feel nervous with Mr. Jacobs while I feel scared whenever I’m with Vincent. “Shall we play chess now?”

It's pathetic! He dropped that bomb and strutted off before I could fire back. I could hardly believe my ears that such boneheaded words came from the man I have loved for years. His so-called 'cozy winter promos' were just a table with free cups of cheap black coffee and some giveaway gloves out front. The coffee often went cold, untouched, and those gloves ended up in the street bin. However, Seth, of course, thought they were pure gold. Somehow, I was the one cashing in on Lily's ideas!

The winners were ecstatic, while the losers were ashen-faced. Noah leaned in and whispered, "Well? Exciting, isn't it?" Right then, Mr. Somner walked over. "So, you want to give it a try? I can give you ten thousand dollars' worth of chips to start. Consider it a favor to Mr. Grant. If you win, it's yours. If you lose, you don't have to pay it back." I knew this was a classic trap—gave one a taste first, then reeled one in once they were hooked.