Christian Humorous Stories Novels & Stories

I looked in the direction he motioned to with his head and sure enough a bulky man dressed in black plain clothes was walking towards us. "That's so corny" I laughed at Christians antics. We were currently sitting in a cafe me having coffee and him peppermint tea. He was telling me some of the pick up lines he made up in middle school. I almost fell off my chair in laughter when he shot up from his seat and walked over to where I sat then did a fancy twirl and said in a very hilarious impression of an American accent. "Babe if I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U and I together. By this time I had tears running down my face and Christians and I playfulness had caught everyone's atten

He said, giving the other male a pat on the back. Gabriel nodded his head and gave his best friend a warm smile, before moving to Christian who gave him a gently slap on the shoulder. "It's nice seeing you're not dying. For now." Christian joked, making everyone laugh, including Gabriel who's laugh was more of a nervous one. "Yeah, like I'd ever die before you." He joked. Christian let out a snort, his lips forming a small grin. "Don't challenge me."

“So? I’m just asking for food, not sex. I took a vow of celibacy, not a vow of starvation.” “I mean…I am not the best cook…I can, I can-” Adrian chuckles. “Pippa, Pippa, relax, I’m joking. Priests do have a sense of humour, you know, just like everyone else.” “I know,” I mutter. “It’s just…” he starts, then looks at me, shakes his head and goes in a completely different direction. “Never mind. I shouldn’t have joked like that…it was inappropriate. I grew up with…well, let’s just say non-religious people, and I sometimes forget myself.”

That evening over dinner, Marcus started telling embarrassing stories of Christian that he told him. “He was five,” Marcus said, grinning. “Trying to shift for the first time. Got stuck halfway and ran around the pack house looking like a weird wolf-boy hybrid, howling for his mom.” I nearly choked on my water from laughing. Christian's face was bright red. “Marcus, I swear to God—” “And when he was sixteen? Tried to be all mysterious and brooding. Just looked constipated most of the time.” “I hate you,” Christian muttered, but I could see him fighting a smile.

CHRISTIAN Another message followed immediately. ‘Sit tight and don’t try anything stupid.’ A laughing emoji sat at the end of the text. The sight of it snapped me out of my trance. Was this a joke? Did they think hitting and stuffing her in a trunk was funny? My body grew taut with rage at the thought. These lunatics were about the money. That was certain. The stories I heard around the circle always ended in ransoms. But they were mostly from people who coloured outside the line.

Christian tells his Beta. “With all the reverence and respect in the world, I would rather shit in my hands and clap, Alpha.” Uriel looks like he would love to say more, but I imagine his sense of self preservation holds his tongue. I have to bite the insides of my own cheeks to keep from laughing and Hunter turns his back on everyone, his shoulders shake with his amusement for a few seconds before he straightens his back and turns to face us all again. “Excuse me?” Christian tries, and fails, to keep the surprise off his face.

It's pathetic! He dropped that bomb and strutted off before I could fire back. I could hardly believe my ears that such boneheaded words came from the man I have loved for years. His so-called 'cozy winter promos' were just a table with free cups of cheap black coffee and some giveaway gloves out front. The coffee often went cold, untouched, and those gloves ended up in the street bin. However, Seth, of course, thought they were pure gold. Somehow, I was the one cashing in on Lily's ideas!

“Literally.” Christian’s expression gentled. “That’s… rough.” “It made me grow up fast,” I said “Embarrassingly fast.” A ghost of a smile curved his mouth. “I can relate.” We drifted back into conversation the way you wade into water. Slowly. Carefully. He told me stories about his father’s philandering habits, about siblings who arrived like unexpected announcements, about holidays that felt like negotiations instead of celebrations. The humor he used felt like armor—polished from years of practice.

I could hear the horror in her voice and didn't know if to cringe or burst out into laughter. Christian decides for me by sniggering. "Then you'd be referred to as the girl who shart her pants." I couldn't hold it in and joined him. Gwen on the other hand didn't think it was funny as she voiced it out. "Not funny guys." Doesn't feel too good being on the receiving end huh? ________________ "Don't tell me little miss Ella is going to walk me to my door?" Christian jokes as he swings his bag strap over his shoulder. I snorted as I slammed the car door shut. "Don't kid yourself. "

Christian feigns sadness again and then cries like a child. creating excessive crying sounds that make Baby laugh at the ridiculous behavior of a man who makes him feel happy and loved. Baby joins in the pretense, hugging Christian's shoulder. Baby acts like a mother trying to persuade her child not to sulk anymore. "Stop crying .... come on don't cry .... let's buy ice cream, ok." Christian could not stand it then stopped acting and his face turned sullen. "Why do you coax me like a mother is coaxing her son? Should you talk to me like a girlfriend who cares so much, it will make me happier."