Comedy Texting Novels & Stories

“Goddess forbid I’m busy. It’s not like I run an entire pack or anything.” “Oh ha ha. Can’t spare time for an old childhood friend. You know what they invented. Texting. You know, send a message and you don’t need to answer it right away. It’s like a letter, but faster.” “I’m sorry. Really. I will make sure to text more often than I do.” I continued drawing the line as I headed east. “But you know, it’s a two-way street. You could have called and you didn’t.”

She’s been here for twenty four hours and she’s already arguing with me. I couldn’t help laughing. Ethan looked over from where he was folding his clothes. “Seems like whoever you’re texting is a real comedian.” “Oh, no. It’s just my cousin. He’s just too funny,” I replied. My phone buzzed again. Hello?? I’m here, baby. The typing bubble appeared almost instantly. I miss you. Can we go out for drinks tonight? I don’t drink, weirdo. Then order something else. I just want those lips on mine again.

Who was texting him at 10:47 PM? Who was making him smile so openly, so carelessly, like his soul was doing jumping jacks? He typed. Paused. Typed again. Backspaced. Typed. Sent. The phone dinged immediately. He smiled again. Then he laughed under his breath. Not loudly-just a soft "ha" that sent a sharp jolt up my spine. "Who's that?" I asked casually, in the gentlest voice known to mankind. He didn't even look up. "Oh-just neighborhood stuff."

After what felt like hours, I decided to go indoors and check my phone in case, smiling when I saw the message from Nate. My life: What are you doing im bored as fuck. My life: I hate everyone here at the office. My life : Hey are you asleep? My life : where are you baby? I'm dying here. My life : Are you ignoring your man while he’s dying? My life : Oh, my fragile heart, you're wounding me, ignoring me while I die. I rolled my eyes at his text and bit my lip to stifle a laugh. Typical dramatic Nate. Me: I'm here having a blast.

At least you get to relax some days before then * He sent and she smiled when she read the message. * Yeah... I suddenly have this silly thought.. * She texted. * Which is? * He replied. * You suddenly appearing as one of the business man and then with your supposedly wife * She texted with a cracked and silly laugh. She turned her phone upside down and then closed her eyes in smiles. She heard the notification sound and she opened her eyes, her lips still maintaining that smile. She brought her face to her phone's screen. * Come on, we both know that could never happen * Was his reply. She chuckled lightly.

Once I find my solicitation to him, I toss my phone to the floor of the truck and arch my head back against the headrest, groaning, and dragging my hands down my face. I don't know what's worse, that I sent it or he rejected it. "Cassandra? What's wrong?" Tarra asks, taking the headphones out of her ears. Without a word, I lean over, grab my cell phone, and hand it to her. I would rather her just read my embarrassing texts than read them aloud. It takes a minute before I hear Tarra gasp before she starts laughing. "I don't know if I am more shocked that you texted him this stuff, or if I am proud of that line. Australian kiss... genius!" She chimes.

She got so bored waiting that she decided to text Keegan to annoy him. She downloaded a picture of toes squeezing out of the heels from the internet and sent it to Keegan with a WhatsApp Message. [Look at my new shoes.] Keegan was discussing how to improvise the blueprint with Aldor when the notification of Stella's message popped up. Aldor wanted to look away, but Keegan had already tapped and opened it. Then, Aldor saw the picture that Stella sent and almost laughed out loud.

He was part of the few old people that Galbraith knew who preferred to text and email instead of using pigeons like those stubborn old ancestors of the Lion King tribe. “He said, ‘Sup Babes’ and then went on and on about how he had finished the all the wine he had on him, needed a refill, but couldn’t find a Heavenly Fox outpost where he was.” Clara’s lips twitched when she mentioned the contents of the text. Hearing her words, Galbraith burst into laughter, a reaction that Clara expected but feigned displeasure at. “Stop laughing!” “Hahaha!” “I said stop you moron!” “Haha-ow…okay okay…I won’t laugh anymore.”

I read all and I hold myself from laughing. *TOO BUSY EATING HIM OUT YOU COULDN'T REPLY A SISTER'S TEXT?. *MAKE SURE THE PACK OF C O NDOMS IS CLOSE BY DURING MAKE OUT." Shit! I cuss internally. I replied her messages and put my phone back into my purse. Gary rolled down the glass partition.

She raised her phone to her mouth and recorded a voice note as well. “ Awww, I miss you too baby ” The reply came almost instantly. “ Send nudes ” Pearl fell down from her chair. She held her stomach as she laughed. Her eyes filled with tears as her stomach hurt from laughing too much. “ What the heck girl? ” She replied with a playful emoji. “ Can't you baby? ” Pearl shook her head. She was wild and way too funny. She sent a playful text and her eyes snapped to the message from earlier, it was from an unknown number. She couldn't open it earlier because of Lucas. She decided to open it now as she was alone.