control
Because shifting would mean acknowledging the physical pull I was feeling, and acknowledging that would mean admitting that I wanted him, and admitting that would mean being vulnerable again after he'd just established boundaries about my inability to be all in.
But not shifting meant sitting here, hyperaware of every centimeter between us, feeling like I was choosing control over connection.
"You're doing it again," Eli said quietly. "The thing where you calculate proximity like it's a strategic decision instead of just... existing near someone you care about."
"I'm trying not to push," I said.
"You're trying not to be present," Eli corrected. "There's a difference. Pushing is aggressive. N