Contoh Stand Up Comedy Sindiran

My husband, Theodore, was about to take his childhood sweetheart, Rosalie, around the world in a hot-air balloon when I was kidnapped by his enemy. They were about to throw me into a snake pit. I gave up asking Theodore for help and called my father-in-law instead. In my previous life, I begged Theodore to save me, even kneeling in front of the phone camera. Hence, he abandoned the hot-air balloon ride with Rosalie and rushed to negotiate with the kidnapper. Rosalie was all alone and angry. She took another hot-air balloon, but it exploded mid-way, causing her to die on the spot without even leaving behind an intact corpse. Hearing the bad news, Theodore showed a rare calm expression. He seemed to forget about Rosalie's existence and took me on a trip around the world. As we were sailing in Norwol, he suddenly pushed me into the sea. "I should never have saved you. Snake pit? Kidnapper? How could they have had the courage to push you into it? I should've never saved you if I knew it'd kill Rosalie. You should go to hell sooner!" When I opened my eyes again, I had come back to the day I was kidnapped. This time, I chose not to call for help. Humble love would only leave you bruised and battered.

I just want to ask you one question before you walk away Hailey. “How loud do you think you'll scream when I fuck you”? My name is Hailey King, and I’m living a lie. I’ve hidden the truth from everyone including my own brothers just to keep what I do and who I really am a secret. It’s not that I want to lie, it's just that I don't have a choice. I thought I was holding it all together, thought I was strong until I saw Jayden Knight last New Year’s Eve. He stripped me bare—emotionally and physically. Jayden is everything I want but everything I know I can’t have. We’ve known each other most of our lives, but I’ve kept my distance since I turned eighteen, because I knew deep down he was dangerous to my carefully built façade. And I was right. After that night we spent together, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about him or how completely he ignited something in me I didn’t know still existed. Now, I crave Jayden like he’s a drug I can’t quit… and that one unforgettable night still haunts me. But I'm in for a surprise the next morning.

It started all when she delivered the letter to someone mistakenly who happened that time has a crazy stalker, and the worst part is she got accused of being the one who is sending him a bunch of marriage contract proposals...

"Whose illegitimate child are you pregnant with?" My parents demand to know, looking crazed. They want to know whose child I'm carrying. I look at them and laugh. "One of the kidnappers, of course." My parents and brother are stunned, and they turn ashen. I continue softly, "Don't you guys remember? The kidnappers asked for a ransom, but you guys were only willing to save your other daughter. You wanted to teach me a lesson." Mom collapses on the couch. "That can't be. We wanted to teach you a lesson so you would stop bullying Eden. I didn't… We didn't…" I crouch before her. "You guys never expected the kidnappers to violate me, right?" I don't wait for an answer. "Do you think a few kidnappers would have morals and ethics?" She parts her lips to speak, but I don't give her the chance. "I was covered in injuries when I got home. Why didn't any of you ask me about them? "You guys took Eden away without bothering to save me. You didn't return for a day, for two days, for a month… Did you think the kidnappers would think that they could still receive the ransom?" They should be happy now—I'm about to die.

I've been dating the country's most eligible bachelor for two years. My base salary is $2 million, with bonuses based on performance. Holding hands costs $10,000, putting an arm around his waist is $20,000, and a kiss on the lips is a bit pricier at $50,000. As for certain bedroom activities, well, those come with a whole different price tag. Brad is fair-skinned and handsome, appearing only once a month – he's practically a walking Tiffany's diamond. Life is so sweet, it's easy to get complacent if you're not careful. One night, a DM popped up on Instagram from a stranger. "If you trust me, check your boyfriend's phone." "?" "I'm his girlfriend." "Am I the third party or are you the third party?" "You're third, I'm fourth." "Let's meet and talk details."

"Everything was fine, until it wasn't. And that was because I was carrying a billionaire's baby from a one-night stand. A cold-hearted billionaire with an enormous ego. The question is, will that baby be my escape from my narcissistic parents, or will it bring even more complications, as I strike a deal with a billionaire? "I am your typical billionaire, the kind who walks around with a proud aura. A one-night with a woman brings me a solution to all of my troubles. But the problem was, I couldn't understand if this woman was bringing me another chance at happiness, or she was just karma, here for a payback."

“No! Cassian, wait…” Angela moans, panting hard after an earth-shattering org*sm. “This is... this is very wrong.” She lets out, battling her overwhelming desires, and rationality as her palm pushes against the taut chest of the man above her. "It's forbidden." she gasps. “Tell me you don't crave this as much as I do, and I promise I won't disturb you ever again.” Cassian mutters hoarsely, lust and desire burning in his eyes, as he looks down at Angela's flushed face, her eyes mirroring his, and her body quivering with need beneath him. “Take me,” she purrs, and he doesn't waste time claiming her… ~~~~▪•♤~~~•♧•~~~♤▪•~~~~ Angela thought she was crazy for having a crush on her brother. He was off limits, a forbidden fruit she should only fantasize about. What she didn't expect was the moon goddess pairing them as mates on her 21st birthday. The goddess must be crazy, she thought, for allowing such an abomination. She was forced to reject her brother or be sent abroad, a decision her parents claimed was the right one. However, it seems she wasn't the only crazy one; Cassian, her brother, wanted her for himself, and he was willing to go against everyone to keep her. Their parents and elders of the pack also weren't willing to back down; they were prepared to go to great lengths to prevent their bond from taking root. Will these two be able to overcome all obstacles and stay together?

Tinaguriang most eligble bachelor in town, owned a multi billionaire company pero iyon nga lang wala sa vocabulary ni Archer ang salitang "Relasyon o Marriage" para sa kaniya laro-laru lang ang lahat. Hindi niya na raw kailangan ng babaeng makakasama niya pera lang ang mahalaga sa kaniya. Kung usapang tawag ng laman madali lang sa kaniya iyan dahil may pera siya. Nagbabayad siya ng mga babaeng pera lang ang habol at basta na lang binibenta ang laman para lang sa pera. Pero nagbago ang lahat ng iyon sa isang gabi ng pagtatalik nila ng isang babaeng bayaran, sa lahat ng babaeng naikama niya iyong babaeng iyon lamang na may butterfly tattoo sa likod ang kakaiba para sa kaniya. Hindi niya maipaliwanag ang pakiramdam ng gabing iyon. Kakaibang sarap ang pinaramdam sa kaniya na hindi niya kailanman natikman sa mga naunang naikama niya. Ngunit nagising siya nang wala na ito sa tabi niya at nag-iwan na lamang ng isang sulat bilang pasasalamat sa isang gabi na puno ng ligaya. Binalikan ni Archer kung saang bar niya nakuha ang babae ngunit bigo siyang makita pa ulit ito at hanggang sa kasalukuyan ay pinapahanap niya pa rin ito. Hanggang sa nag-krus ang landas nila ni Choleen, ang pamangkin ng isa sa mga katulong nila. Pinasok ito bilang katulong sa isa sa mga resort nila, Doon na nagsimula ang kwento nila, noong una ay akala niya nangbu-bwesit lang ito dahil sa mga sunod-sunod na kapalpakang ginagawa sa trabaho. Doon niya lang nalaman na wala pala talaga itong alam sa kahit anong trabaho at gawaing bahay. Sa tinatagal-tagal nakayanang pagtiisan ni Archer ang pagiging inosente ni Choleen. Ngunit isang madilim na sekreto pala ang nakabalot sa pagkatao nito, malalaman kaya ni Archer na ang babaeng matagal na niyang hinahanap ay nasa harapan niya na mismo.

Parang sinukluban ng langit si Rica ng malaman ang kondisyun niya sa doctor. Lalo pa siyang nalugmok sa kalungkutan ng sabihin nitong bilang na ang panahon niya. Halos hindi na naging normal ang Buhay niya magmula noon.Isang alok ng kaibigan ang sasagip sa kanyang lugmok na kapalaran pero hindi akalain ni Rica na iyon ang magdudulot ng samot saring paghihirap sa kanyang buhay

Palaging nagkakaro’n ng weird na panaginip si Thea Amarrile, dahil halos araw-araw n’yang napapaginipan na nakikipag sex s’ya sa lalaking hindi n’ya naman kilala, ngunit ang pinagtataka n’ya ay kapag nagigising s’ya ay naaalala n’ya parin bawat detalye ng panaginip n’ya. Hanggang isang araw, bigla na lang sumulpot ‘yong lalaking palagi n’yang napapaginipan sa pinag tatrabahohan n’ya and later on, nalaman n’ya na lang na ‘yong lalaking palagi n’yang napapaginipan ay s’yang magiging panandaliang boss n’ya.