Dark Humor Jokes Tagalog

Halos hindi makakurap si Cash dahil ang inosente niyang mata ay nakasaksi ng isang makasalanang ginagawa ng dalawa. ''heyyy!! who are you ?"galit na tanong ng lalaki sa kanya habang nagaayos ng zeeper. ''heyyy again?" pumitik na ito sa harap ng mukha niya at doon lamang bumalik ang kaluluwa na parang humiwalay dahil sa nakita niyang ginagawa ng dalawa kanina. ''sino ba yan ?" galit na saad ng babaeng kaniig ng lalaki kanina .Abala ito sa pag aayos ng mukha mula sa harap ng isang malaking salamin. ''tapusin muna yan at umalis kana !!! '' utos nito sa babae . Napapalunok nalang siya dahil sa seryosong mukha at pananalita ng lalaki dahil parang nabitin at kasalanan niya dahil namali siya ng bukas sa isang cubicle ng banyo . ''at ikaw bakit hindi ka man lang kumatok basta basta ka nalang papasok '' galit nitong salita habang duro duro siya sa mukha . ''aba kasalanan ko pa kayo itong hindi naglolock ng pintuan haler!!!!'' pag aangal niyang sagot.Ang ayaw niya sa lahat dinuduro ang mukha niyang maganda. ''stay away here now !! '' natakot siya bigla dahil sa galit nitong boses dahil sa takot ay nagmadaling lumabas sya ng banyo dala ang takot at pagkabigla sa lahat ng kanyang nasaksihan ngayong araw at idagdag pa niya masungit na lalaki . Hindi na berhen ang kanyang mata dahil sa nasaksihan sa dalawa ni man lang manood ng isang malaswang video hindi niya magawa . Inis naman na binalibag ni Theo ang pintuan ng banyo at lumabas .Hindi niya matanggap na may makakita sa kagaguhan niya . Hindi niya gustong lokohin ang asawa nito pero nangangailangan lang siya bilang lalaki kaya nagagawa niyang maglihim at tumikim ng ibang babae . Yan ang tunghayan natin sa kwento nila Evan Theo Fortillen at Cashandra Torero .. (Warning rated SPG) 18+ only .

The evening wind and tranquility wiped away all the chaos that had been filling my mind for the preceding few days. It felt as though I had been granted a second opportunity at life, akin to that of a newborn kid. I'd always wanted to feel that way for so long, and that night was a very captivating time for me to begin with. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, feeling the breeze brush against my skin as I relived all the horrific events that had occurred. All the turmoil that seemed to escape reappeared in an instant. Tears rush down my cheeks as I feel my body shudder as a dreadful understanding dawns on me. It feels as if every second of my existence has been squandered, and as if the sense of despair and worry has taken over the little strand of sanity that exists for me as it pours through my veins and fills my spirit to the core. "You've got this. All you have to do is think that you can," I said to myself persuasively. "You can't, you just can't. You'll never be able to do it, and you'll have to live with the repercussions for the rest of your life," a familiar voice said. My senses begin to be overpowered by numbness. And with that, I realized I could not go away. The reality that this is my fate hits me like a ton of bricks. As I stretched out to wipe away all my tears, I felt thick moisture on my fingers and was terrified to find blood instead of tears. I felt as if my world was spinning before I could even scream. Then, all of a sudden, darkness crept inside me. And eventually sends me to oblivion.

Lexus Clark Salvatore still enjoying his bachelor's life. He doesn't do love only make love. It was a hot steamy night when his father called and said he needs to marry Celeste Hara Villamore. He is just pretending at first, until he didn't notice that he's already falling. What do you think will Lexus do? Entertain his feelings? Or just go with the flow?

Eloisa lost her memory after the doctor couple found her and saved her. She wants to find the missing parts of her memory. Find the man in her dream who says that he is her husband. Can Eloisa find this man?

Grace Rue, surviving from all sort of disasters fate brought upon her, works as a sex worker in the famous club, 'Paradiso'. Adapting to this lifestyle, finding it the only way to control men's desires, she considers herself a queen but gets an offer from a mafia, Levi, to become his sex partner.

A few hours before her wedding, Elowen ditches her cheating fiancé and the entire Guerra family, then ends up in a club for a one-time stripper gig where she meets Dante. Enthralled by her, Dante presents her with a contract. Elowen thinks she can use this to her advantage - steal his money and skip town, where the Guerra family won’t find her. So, she signs the contract and gives up her virginity to him. Unbeknownst to her, Dante isn’t just some random rich guy. He’s her ex-fiancé’s uncle and the most powerful man in the city. He’s used to getting what he wants, and he wants Elowen, who had just signed a contract with him. What happens when she finds out his true identity and the fact she can never escape the Guerra Mafia?

Paano kung gusto ka nga niya pero may mahal siyang iba? Yan ang katanungan ni Mira sa kaniyang sarili. Kontento na ba siyang pangalawa lang siya sa puso ng lalaking mahal niya na sa simula't simula pa lang ay naging tapat na sa kaniyang totoong nararamdaman?

Sky Isabelle Honralez Bustamante, a beautiful and intelligent heiress. She is every woman’s envy. But behind that glamorous exterior is a very lonely princess who lived her life just to please her father. She even gave up her own dreams para lang makuha ang attention nito. And then one day, she fell from grace, hard. But Sky had enough. She got fed up fighting and decided to run away. With no destination in mind, she packed her bags and left everything behind. Miguel dela Cruz: komikero, matikas, at higit sa lahat, ubod nang gwapo. Actually, he could pass as a Calvin Klein/Armani model. Idagdag na rin natin na pang toothpaste commercial pa ang ngiti nito. Ang isang kagaya nito ay nababagay sa mga cover magazines at runway fashion shows. May mga pa-english-english pa kuno itong nalalaman. Ngunit sa likod nang magagandang katangiang tinataglay nito nagtatago ang misteryong bumabalot sa buo nitong pagkatao. The beautiful heiress and the handsome country bumpkin. One is trying to run away from her past while the other is being chased by his future. These two are in for a serious turmoil of emotions. Sky is trying to keep her distance. She builds up walls around her dahil alam niyang masasaktan lang siya and she doesn’t know if she can handle it. And Miguel, the man who’s a push and pull, but is always there to catch her when she feels like she’s falling. They are like magnets being drawn together, hanggang sa wala na silang takas. But just when everything is about to fall into place perfectly, saka naman sila naisipang paglaruan nang tadhana. Their past and future caught up to them at sa isang iglap nagbago ang lahat. Mahanap pa kaya nila ang daan pabalik sa isa’t isa?

My beloved perished in my hands; driven by love, power, dominance, and hatred, I rose to become the Alpha Queen of the Darkwood Pack. Three hundred years later, because of my descendant's folly, I was rebirth. She was everything I was not: easily manipulated, abused by her chosen mate, and ultimately met her demise at his hands. The Moon Goddess seemed unwilling to let me rest. I must prevent my descendant’s tragedy to protect my territory! I am the Alpha Queen of the past, and I shall scorch all who oppose me. Oh, did I mention I was reborn in my descendant's body? As I fought to reclaim my territories, my beloved I lost three centuries ago reappeared, seeking to claim me once more—but that can never be... He is my greatest enemy, yet the one I loved with all my soul. He is the Lycan my pack despised. He is the mate I must reject, no matter how much it shatters me…

Ang kuwentong ito ay hindi angKop sa mga batang mambabasa.*** Since childhood, Astin Kier Hernandez has loved Laura Miller. But it was a one-sided love. Laura never had feelings for him. Still, he didn’t give up; he guarded her closely all through college. Out of gratitude to his family, Laura agreed when he proposed in front of her parents. He knew she wouldn’t refuse because of gratitude to their family. He thought he was the happiest man that day. He was wrong. Laura admitted she already had a boyfriend, Gael. But Astin didn’t allow the wedding plans to be canceled. Learning this, he rushed to set the wedding date. On their wedding day, Laura didn’t show up, and that was his first heartbreak. One-sided love is torture. For months, he disappeared from everyone’s radar, leaving behind his comfortable life. To forget, he joined the military, spending four years in training. After that, his team was deployed abroad on their first mission, which lasted longer than expected. Eight years is a long time, so he returned to the Philippines. He and Laura crossed paths once again. But he was no longer the Astin who was hopelessly in love with her. How many women had he left heartbroken whenever he was reassigned to a different place? But how could he now avoid the woman who did nothing but apologise and try to win him over every day? And how long could she endure his cold treatment?