Dirty Little Johnny Jokes Collection Novels & Stories

I looked at myself in the mirror and laughed so loud and hysterically together with the other students. "Why the hell!? Haha, that's a penis!" Arielle shouted and slapped Aiden who drew it on my cheeks. "Fuck you!" I cuss him while tearing up. "How is this different from the others!?" I tried wiping it off my face but my friends stopped me because it was a special one. "It's a magical penis, Kamesh! It's assuring your luck!" He shouted from the other corner of the room. The room was filled with everyone laughing at our craziness.

"You sure look better now." "And you look... worse." As far as jokes went, it was a lame joke, one that would not have made anyone event crack a smile normally, but it somehow managed to crack us both up. A second later, Silas and I were laughing like loons, laughing our heads off, clutching the counter to keep from toppling over. Silas stopped to burp and that set us both off again. Silas's unsteady hands poured us both a large glass of whisky.

“You're him?” He remembered how the old man had caught the rabbit, displaying the speed of someone who was definitely not ordinary. “What’s wrong?” Dieter asked with a sly smile. “Do I not look suitable to be a leader?” Johnny, who was nursing his face, almost laughed out loud at Dieter’s question. Dieter immediately kicked him over and scowled. "Try laughing again, you little brat." Caroline was also laughing, but silently. Her shoulders were shaking. Johnny quickly got to his knees again. As he put on his most pitiful look, he said, “I'm sorry, sir. I promise I won't lie again.”

Heavy with shit we weren’t saying. I cleared my throat. “Alright. That’s enough depressing hospital talk. You know what would really make my day better?” He glanced at me, brows raised. “A really dumb joke.” Andrew blinked. Then tilted his head a little, lips twitching like he was fighting a smile. “A dumb joke?” I nodded, lips curving around the cigarette still hanging from my mouth. “Come on. Hit me.” He gave me a look—half skeptical, half amused. “Fine. What do you call a sad strawberry?”

“Okay, now 'that' is my cue to leave before I witness your sex tape live.” I snapped my head toward him, ready to deny all his dirty conclusions over… whatever the hell this is. “I’m innocent,” he said in a high-pitched voice, grabbing the bottle of alcohol and heading toward the door. “Just so you know—if you fall for that 'wanker', I’ll be the one to say… all bets go in my pocket.” I barked out a laugh. “If I ever fall for Johnny, it’d be because he tripped me down a flight of stairs. Literally. Nothing figurative or romantic.”

I could easily imagine Suzane Johnson writhing in a strange laugh when listening to this, simply by hearing the little pig snoring she let out when she got excited about one of my worst jokes. It was strange not to be able to return the same intensity of animation, although just so that she could not understand anything, I tried hard, and imitated a rehearsed sound of what was once an ironic laugh. I've never been the kind of person who struggled to be funny. I've never had much talent to be the silly court of a circle of friends. But I had a certain reputation for being the one who never let herself be shaken by the misfortunes of life. I always had a joke on the tip of my tongue to make so

Bradley Fry, my CEO husband, loves bringing his friends home for meals the most. He claims that this makes them feel like an actual family. As they drink in the feast I've whipped up for everyone, one of Bradley's friends comments smilingly, "I knew that you were a virtuous one, Emily! Now this is how the legitimate wife should act!" My expression doesn't falter as I ask in a half-joking manner, "Oh? Does Bradley have a spoiled and pampered mistress by his side, then?" His friends are stunned by my question. A trace of panic crosses their eyes simultaneously. But Bradley just wraps an arm around my shoulders with a smile. "Don't listen to their nonsense, Emily. Who else is worthy as my

he laughed as he grabbed a lighter from the glove compartment. ********** A few minutes later we were high as a kite. Jonny kept giggling like a little girl high on sugar. "So how many panties have you collected since you've been in town," he puffed, then he passed the joint over to me. "One," I took the joint and sucked on it. "There was this one girl who was at the hotel where I was doing my decompression. We hooked up a few times that one night. Shit! I don't even remember her name."

He stated his boundaries, making Cam and I laugh lightly. "Fine." "So Cam, I've got new jokes for you." "Alright, let's hear them." "Knock knock." "Who's there?" "The interrupting cow." "Did you get that joke from the cartoon 'Home'?" Cam laughed. "Gee, I hoped you wouldn't know it." Rodney clapped his forehead and we all laughed.

he said, "I would be in hot water. But there are a few chaps I'll share a good laugh with when I need it." "Oh really?" I asked, "They must be near your age. Sorry if that was rude! I just can't imagine a bunch of gray heads laughing at a joke." Now he did laugh. "You're quite right," he said, "I suppose they must be near enough in age, a little older here, little younger there," he shrugged casually, "Pfft, it's a party. Age doesn't matter." Better back off, Jenna. He already got weird once. Don't push it.