Funny Condom Sayings

Normal na buhay ang kinagisnan ni Joel o mas kilala bilang si Wella sa Barangay Maligaya—ang baklang harot subalit hindi basta mahahablot. Iisa lang kasi ang ang tininibok ng kaniyang imaginary merlat. Iyon ay walang iba kundi si Hans, ang ultimate hunk basketball player tuwing liga sa kanilang baranggay.Subalit hanggang tingin na lang talaga siya not until makilala niya si Beki-God mother na nagbigay sa kaniya ng kahilingang gawin siyang babae. Natupad naman iyon at nahumaling nga sa kagandahan niya si Hans. Sino ba naman siya para tumanggi? Nagpakilala siya sa binata bilang si Cindy at niligawan siya ng binata. Subalit hanggang kailan niya itatago ang katotohanan sa lalaking nagugustuhan?

OWEN GARCIA is the twin brother of RUSSELL ROSSELL (heir of the billionaire Theodore Rossell), kidnapped by NURSE GEMMA GARCIA. SHELLEY SILVER is a woman who dreams to be a novelist but received rejections one after another. Till she met and became friends with Russell Rossell who pretended to be an ordinary employee from the company of Theodore Rossel. He has a knack for writing and suggested that be the ghostwriter of Shelley and she readily agreed. Russel Rossell was hospitalized due to a car accident. That was the time Owen entered the life of Shelley, and pretended to be Russel Rossell. Like Russel Rossell, Owen also has a knack for writing novels, thus, Shelley wasn't able to know the difference between the twins. Gemma Garcia learned about Russell accident, and planned to use "her son" to get inside the Rossell Clan. Since he loved "his mother" Owen agreed to Gemma's plan. But they say, blood is thicker than water, hence, Owen felt pity for his twin brother when he met Joanne (acting as Russel Rossell, boyfriend of Joanne) and found out that Joanne is in relation with Brendon, the stepson of Theodore, who also masterminded the car accident of Russel. Thus, Russell Owen wrote a novel that divulged the crime of Brendon and requested Shelley to send copies to Theodore Rossell. Shocked, as he reads the book, Theodore ordered an investigation of his son's accident. And Brendon was sent to prison. The lives of Russel, Owen, Gemma, Shelley, and Theodore get tangled up till Theodore finds out that Owen is the twin brother of his son (by DNA). Now Shelley's Dilemma is who does she really love? Is it Russel Rosell who she loved the very first time she saw him or Owen, the mistaken identity of Russell Rossell?

I was a regular interior designer until my life took a whirlwind turn when I was hired to renovate the luxurious property of Ethan Blackwood, a powerful billionaire with a reputation for being ruthless and cold. Our first encounter was a clash of wills, with Ethan acting like an arrogant asshole, and me, trying to maintain my composure to keep the job. But beneath his tough exterior, I sensed an undeniable attraction between us. Despite my resolution to stay away from him, fate seemed to draw us together. But just as we started to build something real, a dark secret from my past resurfaced, threatening to destroy everything.

Out of her mundane life Ava sparked the interest of one of the celestial. Something she read from books and heard from stories but she chose to reject their existence. Will her personal vendetta cost her life or lead her to something better? A mere human who thought she was just caught in the crossfire among the gods. When in fact she was the root of it. 'Words are powerful because you wouldn't know who is listening, huh?' That's what she said on their first meeting. Still forcing herself not to believe even if the proof is right in front of her. His intent was to prove his innocence to her. Yet he entangled himself for a bigger mess, is it really? The mere spectator from before is now part of a dangerous game. His choices will determine not only his fate but of the two worlds and the entire humanity. The more he wanted to break free the more he gets drawn to her. An unexplained phenomenon he felt for the first time since he was created. 'You wouldn't know how it feels unless you go through the same ordeal.' He remembered what his friend told him and realized that he was eating his own words. He was willing to abandon everything just to be with her. Even if it meant being selfish for the first time. He is changing for the worse but can't let go of her now. Not when she already meant everything to him. When the hope of redemption seems impossible, a revelation is unleashed. More questions emerge instead of answers they needed. Will it become the cure or just another poison? What are they willing to sacrifice for their freedom and salvation? Do they even have that choice? Or would they cease to exist leaving no traces behind?

"Why do you hate me so much, Maan" she asked hiccupping, hitting his chest. "I never said that" he said holding her hands. ____________________________________ "So, my Ita, how does it feels to be Mrs. Dutta," he asked holding her from behind while making eye contact in the mirror. "Best feeling in this world, Mr. Dutta" she replied kissing his cheek. ____________________________________ "I BLOODY ASKED YOU TO DO ONE THING BUT YOU CAN'T EVEN DO THAT!" he shouted slamming the wooden desk with his fists. "I am sorry, sir" she replied with tears welling up in her eyes. ____________________________________ "I will kill that man if I see him near you again" he said dangerously running his index finger from her forehead to neck. "W...why" she asked stammering. "Because you are mine"...

Xavier is on the verge of giving up and settling for what his life is -grueling, onerous, and insipid. Sierra is a woman with dreams as big as the sun but a heart as rigid as a rocky mountain. She is constantly facing obstacles and has a hard time letting go and healing from events of her past. These two are least likely to make a match but when the odds are in favor, hope blossoms for them. On the other hand, Xander is an accomplished man with the power kings crave and intellect that the world envies atop a slight maniacal charm. Between the two underground kings, Xavier and Xander, lies the only queen left- Sierra -she has to choose between a mysterious love full of surprises or love that she could only dream of. In this compelling novel, we take a new approach to whimsical romance, banter, and the grim side of reality. Find out how the story unfolds, twists, and turns in this revolutionary book - My Altered Mate. by Lothaire.

Cassandra Johnson is Pixie. Pixie is Cassandra Johnson. She's the same girl who's leading two extremely different lives. Nobody would suspect the school's nerd as Pixie. 'Cause Pixie's a street fighter badass and the nerd does not have a single badass bone in her body. The chances of people discovering this peculiar secret is close to none but of course this is where fate inserts the certified new boy into the equation and makes an exception for him. Warning: heavy flow of profanities ahead. - and tears - or so I've heard.

After a night of reckless indulgence, driven by the intoxicating allure of alcohol, her life began to unravel. She watched helplessly as everything she held dear - her lover, her family, her flourishing career - slipped away. Following her father's mysterious and untimely death, she transformed from a wealthy heiress into a humble rural dweller. Years later, returning to the bustling streets of New York with her two young children, she was determined to unearth the hidden truths of her past. Who was the enigmatic father of her children? What secrets surrounded her father's demise, and who was responsible for the downfall of their once-mighty family business? In her quest for justice, she confronted a world veiled in corporate conspiracies and personal vendettas. Yet, beneath the city's frenetic surface, a more profound darkness awaited. In the heart of this journey for truth and redemption, her two innocent children became her beacons of hope. Their laughter, innocence, and unwavering love provided her with the strength to face a world as unpredictable as it was unforgiving. Amidst the chaos of New York, her children were the anchors that kept her grounded in the face of adversity, offering the courage to confront a capricious world.

The book was set in the land of Ura. The norm of having a boy as an heir in the lineage of Mugwe's lineage merely came to an extinct. Christine, the last heir in the lineage of Mugwe died bearing a child in another reign of the land. Glad, hope was resuscitated. It was a son, Jason. Jason survived under the extended wings of hope shown by Ariana. She had to carry out the plot as promised. That purported the rise of Jason into power. He conjoined the lands and revolutionised them from the ancient to the modern world. Jason found himself in a love triangle like his mother and daughter, Lily. A line of fate is drawn in each love affair. That transposed Jason to tame it as Woman's Sweet Poison.

The childs gone. The dreams gone. I've become comfortably numb Valentina Lombardi has been through a lifetime of trauma throughout her years. From her absentee, abusive father who's neglected her all her life to her even more abusive legal guardian who's been the one to traumatize her. A trip to what she sees as her second bedroom, the police station, takes a turn of events with a piece of information she receives that changes everything. Zane Marino, leader of the Marino mafia, and Raul Romano, one of his top men. Dead. The two men who've destroyed her are now out of her life, a miracle to her. Now, she's being thrown into the custody of her eight older brothers she never knew she had. Her biological family. Not to mention, her eldest brother who's now her legal guardian, also happens to be the leader of the Sicilian mafia. Her "father's" pure enemy. What happens when she has to learn to deal with the infamous, ruthless Lombardi brothers, the ones she was raised to hate? Marino through adoption and Lombardi by blood. A dangerous mix. Throw trauma, boys, secrets, and utter chaos into the mix. How will it all play out when her inner demon's come to the surface, making everything unravel right under her two feet?