Funny Dirty Jokes For Adults Novels & Stories

“That guy's breath stinks like rotten potatoes.” If I wasn't so occupied with playing detective for the man who got my best friend knocked up, then I probably would have laughed hard at the joke. But I continued my list, naming every man I could remember Ashley ever dating or briefly mentioning. With each guess, I was met with a denial, a chuckle or an amusing laughter.

My legs shook, my knees threatening to buckle under the overwhelming sensation of being filled in both holes at once by this ruthless man. That’s it,” he growled viciously against my ear, his grip on my hair keeping my head pulled back so every moan and gasp was loud and exposed. “Everyone outside this restroom should hear exactly what a dirty little slut you are for me. Scream louder, princess. Let them know who’s ruining both your tight holes.”

I laugh till my leg slipped resulting in my poor butt landing on the floor, he glance back as he also burst out laughing at me. I grunted before managing to stand up in some little little pains, I hissed angrily starring at the laughing clown. “Damn your teeth are so dirty, I wanna puke seeing you laugh with it.” I said to him shutting him up. He looks so defeated he quickly turn and walk away gently, good for him.

“It is farting my cum every time you bounce. Such a sloppy fucking whore. You are going to have to clean this kitchen with your tongue when we are done.” The dirty talk made me ride him harder. I slammed my ass down onto his cock again and again, moaning like a bitch in heat. “Yes Jake, I am your whore. I am your dirty fucktoy. Fuck my ass deeper. Make it gape. I want to feel your cum leaking from both holes for days.”

“Who the hell cares? Don’t you see how much money it pays?” “Yeah I do. But don’t you think it sounds kinda weird? Cleaning maid wanted for what? A freaking attic? For a p**n filming production? Or maybe even better; for a freaking weirdo who likes to watch women cleaning his house naked?” Her friend let out a hearty laugh at the sound of that, the thought of his shy and all-too-innocent for this world friend prancing around butt-naked and with one of those rainbow-colored dust sticks making him double over with laughter. “Yeah well, say what you want but you’d be definitely killing it with that,” He commented, waving a finger to the length of her body.

"that wasn't no damn joke a joke is supposed to be funny what you did was cruel and fucked up" She leaned against the brick boulder on her porch "what ever it was a little joke tell her to have a sense of humor everyone else was laughing" "so i don't give a fuck about everyone else you poured powder and milk on her that shit ain't funny" "it was flour" "I don't give a fuck if it was your dead grandmas ashes don't mess with Alaina" "she said she wanted to be lighter so I helped her" "you really dumb as fuck you know that right you and your little minions some dumb ass bitches"

“Who the hell cares? Don’t you see how much money it pays?” “Yeah I do. But don’t you think it sounds kinda weird? Cleaning maid wanted where? In the freaking attic? For a porn filming production? Or maybe even better; for a freaking weirdo who likes to watch women cleaning his house naked?” Her friend let out a hearthy laugh at the sound of that, the thought of his shy and all-too-innocent for this world friend prancing around butt-naked and with one of those rainbow-colored dust sticks making him double over with laughter. “Yeah well, say what you want but you’d be definitely killing it with that,” He commented, waving a finger to the length of her body.

Zain pointed out, giving me that intent, knowing look that made me focus on draining my cup of coffee. Look somewhere else, Zee. I'm not telling you a thing. As if she read my thoughts, she turned to Dianne. “Or maybe he’s so pissed because he’s got a tiny dick.” There was a pause around the table before they howled with laughter while I just drained my coffee, feeling the fog of their cluelessness envelop me. The soreness in between my thighs that has refused to disappear for days was a reminder that the joke was on them.

She chuckled and then broke into delighted laughter. He grinned. “You get that I’m joking?” “Well, of course you’re joking. Vomity ones.” She laughed again. “Too funny.” “Most people don’t get my jokes. Say they’re inappropriate.” He finger-quoted inappropriate. “Are they idiots?” “Arguably.” She laughed again. “A woman who gets my jokes…” His pleased little grin turned into a broad smile. “Can I buy you a coffee sometime? Or a jet?” “A jet?” She laughed until her stomach ached and she had to bend over with her hands on both knees to catch her breath. “You’re killing me.”

This was the place where dirty daddies told you exactly how to finger your dripping cunt on camera, how to spread your asshole wide and show them how tight and pink it was, how to slap your swollen clit until your legs shook and you were begging like a pathetic slut. They made you do all kinds of nasty shit live, moaning their names, stuffing both your holes with toys, and they tipped heavy when you got even filthier, when you spread wider, when you fucked yourself harder and showed them exactly how messy your cum looked dripping down your thick thighs in long shiny strings. This particular “DADDYHUGECOCK” was the filthiest one yet. Even though I had never seen him, I had spent weeks imagini