Funny Mom Jokes Dirty Novels & Stories

Every strike from Mom was harder than the previous one. "Go ahead and stuff yourself as much as you can! I'll demolish you, you fat, greedy pig! I'll rid you of all your unwanted flesh!" Abigail was too heavy to dodge in time. She could only cover her head and scream, "Stop, Mom! Stop! It's me, Abigail…" "No, you're a pig. You're a goddamn pig!" Mom had completely lost touch with reality. The doctors rushed in and sedated her.

And I leaned forward and bit both of his hard nipple before licking the sweat from his chest while I kept bouncing. “I'm so close,” he groaned. “Me too,” I hissed. He slapped my ass softly. “Fill me up,” I told him. His eyes fixed in my face. “Breed this power bottom’s ass like you mean it. Shoot your cum deep in me because I want it leaking out of me—down my thighs and legs.” His eyes widened. I realized that he liked this dirty talk. It aroused him. But before I could continue, he flipped me back over and railed me even harder with an animalistic groan.

"That little brat's got more gall than I thought. Where else could she be? She must've snuck off to her granny's house to tell on us while we were gone. Who taught her to be so stubborn? She wants to play games with me? Fine. Let's play." Mom turned and stormed over to my Barbie dolls. She grabbed a pair of scissors and cut off the dolls' hair and heads. Then, she snapped their limbs, threw them onto the floor, and stomped on them. I cried and tried to push her away, but it didn't do anything. "Mom, I'm not throwing a tantrum. I want to be with you and Dad, too, but I'm trapped in the washing machine, and I can never get out again…"

asked Riley, concerned. "Well, my mum has been acting weird lately," he uttered, lifting his eyes to face Riley. "How weird?" she questioned. "Like she is hiding something from me," he answered. "Really? Are you sure it's not just your imagination? I used to feel the same way about my parents some years back but it turned out to be just me overreacting." she uttered. "You think so?" he queried. "Yes.." she replied with a smile. "I hope so.." he thought to himself as he stared at Riley, faking a smile.

That's just a win-win situation for everyone! Mom's eyes lit up visibly after hearing that. Her Scrooge-like mindset instinctively took over her reasoning as she mumbled, "Tens of thousands… of dollars…" Suddenly, she turned to look at Andrea, who was weakly lying on the couch. Andrea got such a fright that she hurriedly waved her hands in refusal. "I can't go there, Mom! I'll die there!" Mom just rushed up to her and slapped her hard. "Shut up! You don't even know how much it costs to keep you around! Don't you know that hospitals are all black holes that just suck the money out of you?

He simply took my hand and said to the women, "Let's go." They fell in behind him without another word. As we walked away, they chatted about what had just happened, laughing over the way they had taught Mom a lesson. Dad couldn't stop laughing, and so couldn't I. Behind us, Mom was still on the ground, sobbing. She was a grown-up. I thought grown-ups didn't cry. I thought about it for a while, but I never looked back.

he said. “I was a little busy dad please can you at least just send 300$ so I can hold up?” she begged her dad as he listened to her and let out a sigh. “Alright Leo I will try” she stared at her shoes for a moment knowing when he said he will try he just might take two more months before sending. “I am a little busy dad, I will call you back, love you” she said as she dropped the call. She sent her hands into her joggers and there it was her last 20$ staring right back at her as she walked into the room to listen to Ethan Rays who could wipe his butt with 20$ and not feel a pain.

My mom said, getting angry. “This is not up for discussion!” I got louder. My mother started laughing then. I gave her a dirty look - none of this was funny. “That girl- is not as innocent as you think. She will end up ruining you … if you don’t believe me, you’ll find out soon enough.”

My mother-in-law, Matilda Holmes, is celebrating her 60th birthday today. My husband, Joshua Allen, insists I give a toast to his female intern, Lila Deleon. He says Lila's fresh out of college and has no one looking out for her. As his wife, I need to be the bigger person. My eyes fall on the watch circling her wrist. That 38-thousand-dollar watch was an inheritance Mom left me. I don't cry or throw a scene. Instead, I swap out all 12 high-end courses at the birthday party for takeout. Every single box comes with an IOU taped right on top. "Course one, my parents paid 80 thousand dollars for the down payment on our house." "Course two, I raised your startup capital of 50 thousand dol

Cora’s POV “Mom!” Clyde run toward me with a wide smile, “are you done with your work?” He asks as he hugs and kisses me, some of the children giggles at what he did. “Clyde and his mom are always so cute, why not kiss me like that too?” One of the mothers said to her son make his cheeks get red.