Funny Patrick Quotes Novels & Stories

Until recently, Carolina Lane has lived a normal life, but when she moves to this town, things change. Having Kayler Brown, the sexiest and most respected boy in school, as a neighbor is not funny at all. While Caroline is trying hard to make this bossy yet meddling boy stay out of her business, she receives death warnings: Attention, Carolina. The forest will be your new enemy. Do not approach Kayler, or otherwise, your death will be even more painful than I had planned. Who sent this letter? What is Kayler hiding behind? What's the secret of this town? Caroline desperately wants to figure out the truth. However, Kayler won’t answer the questions. He just takes her hand and gazes at her. “You are mine.” He said.

This is the tale of how the sexist remark, "Men are scum," was delivered to me on a scalding plate! Guess what? It all started with a birthday surprise party for my boss's fiance, but I was slapped with horror when I saw my boyfriend of two years being kissed by my boss with an engagement ring around both their fingers. Turned out I had been the side chick for two bloody years! Funny enough, I wasn't served a heart break alone, my boss had also been toying with the emotions of Cole McPherson, and together we swore to take revenge. Would I still scream, "Men are slime!" at the conclusion, or will my beliefs alter in the process of seeking revenge alongside Cole?

They say memories stored in our brain could be sometimes forgotten, but then the heart does not forget. Because our heart always remember, the heart recognizes our beloved when our brain couldn't. Years after they lost contact with each other, Zhanaia encountered Dion again on the same place where they met. And funny how destiny works, they met again just like how they first met, accidentally bumping with each other. Zhanaia's heart was filled with joy, she couldn't contain her happiness and jumped to hug Dion, not wanting to let him go again. But all the hope in her shattered when Dion pulled away from her embrace and asked her, "I'm sorry, miss, but... who are you?"

Mom is always very strict with both my elder sisters, Esther and Emily Kingston. She always wakes them up at 5:00 am to make them study. And if they refuse to wake up, Mom will grab an embroidery needle and stab it into my arm. When fresh blood spills out, Esther and Emily will both get a fright and scramble to their desks at once to begin studying. Sometime during the year-end exam, Esther gets one easy question wrong, and I receive ten lashes with Mom's belt. Emily gets only the second-highest score in class, and I am forced to kneel on glass until my knees turn bloodied and torn. Esther and Emily feel sorry for me and fall to their knees, begging Mom to have mercy on me and promising that they will study hard and make her proud of them. Mom smiles happily and says that this teaching method works very well. However, after the SATs, Esther applies for a college out of state, and Emily tells Mom that she is eloping with a young man whom she has fallen in love with. Mom is so angry that she yanks me over and stuffs me into a huge fish tank before beginning to fill it up with water. She then takes a video of me, threatening to drown me alive if they don't listen to her and do exactly as she says. The water keeps rising in the tank. I feel scared, but I don't struggle because Mom always tells me that the only reason for my existence is to be made an example out of for Esther and Emily. She often quotes Shakespeare's "Othello", telling me about how I am the "sacrificial" dog one beats to scare a lion and teach it obedience. I think that I am considered quite a qualified dog after all, right?

A security guard caught a snake in our apartment complex and delivered it straight to my door. I was just about to scream when floating comments cut in. [The male lead got dumped and turned back into his real form just to spy on his girlfriend, and he actually got caught? This is funny as hell!] [He got dumped, and his girlfriend hates him. He's probably gonna cry himself to sleep!] [Aww, poor little snake can't curl up on his girlfriend tonight.] The big black snake looked pitiful in the guard's hands. It secretly sized me up with its slit pupils. I tried holding out my hand, and the black snake stared in disbelief. Two seconds later, it obediently rubbed its head against my fingers.

Gwen is a rogue who hates pack wolves. After her parents were brutally murdered by their pack for a crime they did not commit, Gwen has had nothing but hatred in her heart. On a night hunt, Gwen encounters the legendary rogue killer, Alpha Liam. A man who hates rogues with every fibre of his being. However, the moon goddess likes to play funny games. Liam and Gwen are mates. But this bond does not stop their hatred for each other. Liam takes her back to his pack, unable to leave her but hateful of her existence. He offers Gwen a deal. They would be mated for as long as it took for her to produce an heir. The rogue and alpha are dancing on the thin line between lust, love and hate. Can they pretend for long?

After a 12-year absence, Austin returns to the horse farm in Wyoming she has always considered her true home. But things have changed, and the farm she inherited comes with some enemies - one of them being the Carter family. Cortland Carter now handles his family's affairs and is determined to get the water rights back from his neighbor, who won them from his grandfather in a poker game. Fate has a funny way of bringing people together, and when Austin saves Cortland's niece, the two finally meet. Despite the feud between their families, they both feel a mutual attraction that cannot be denied. But with their families at odds, is there any hope for a future together? "Coming Home" is a heartwarming tale of love and betrayal.

Sample: ' “Motherfucking dog is what he is , damn it” she chugged her drink down . She pointed her unsteady hand at her two best friends who were watching the show unfold . “ All men are the same . HEARTLESS CHEATING BASTARDS . Do you hear me? Heartless cheating bastards ” Casey screamed at the men sitting on a nearby table. “Yes, that's what you all are . Cheaters . Bloodsucking vampires, you use women like chewing gum and spit them out after you use them”. She placed her glass with a loud bang , almost falling off the table. She joined her hands while looking up at the ceiling, blinking . “If someone up there is listening, I wish all these men would suffer from crabs so bad , they would scratch it so hard that their dicks will fall off ”. She looked down and pointed a finger at them. “This is my curse on your species ”. She turned back to her friends leaving behind a group of mortified men with wide eyes who were left there holding their junks in fear . ' Casey has always been a hopeless romantic, searching for the one person who will finally return her love. Owen, on the surface, has it all—wealth, fame, and an endless stream of admirers. Yet despite his many conquests, he shuns commitment, refusing to be tied to anyone. When a scandal threatens his reputation, Owen concocts a plan: a fake engagement to Casey, In return, he promises to help her win a man. It soon grows complicated.Owen finds himself unexpectedly drawn to Casey but just when love seems within reach, Owen's past returns—his ex, stirring old emotions and doubts. What happened next read in my book ‘Mr Wrong'

Part 1: completed. Sequel: Completed || Clara, a human born to werewolf parents, is a notorious member of the White Soul Pack. Everybody is troubled by her even the alpha. So when she finds her mate, everyone is ecstatic except her. But she never knew her mate would lead her to her family and its deep dark secrets which were buried for years. ||

It starts with a cringy encounter. Weird and silly, but that's what sealed their path. She believes a man like him wouldn't want a single mother. Perhaps he craves her experience in sexual activity. She felt herself to have been used and not worthy of much, but he sees her as the most beautiful existence that deserves to be loved. The love, the possessive nature of a mother for her child. His heart that couldn't stand injustice. Her revenge. His support. The quest to become the woman who wouldn't be treated as trash ever again. Their hot sex. Their aim to be one happy family after all their enemies falls… Jealousy… Join this adventure and have fun with this couple. Join my discord server: https://discord.gg/Q7tY3F8