Funny Sarcastic Quotes Novels & Stories

My girlfriend and I had agreed that she would come home with me for Thanksgiving to meet my parents. However, the night before the trip, she canceled on me again. My older cousin, who had never liked me, immediately started throwing sarcastic comments my way. “Five years together and she still hasn’t met your family? Maybe she never took you seriously in the first place. And honestly, a man shouldn’t think too highly of himself. You might end up raising someone else’s kid without even knowing it,” he said. I ignored him and stepped outside to get some air, but then I found that the car parked in front of the neighbor’s house looked strangely familiar. My heart skipped a beat. Could this be a surprise from my girlfriend? I was just about to call her when my cousin clicked his tongue and pointed at the car. “Still, you’ve gotta admit Liam Crossby really knows how to live. He brought home a gorgeous and successful girlfriend. You? You’ve spent your whole life losing to him.” My eyes locked onto the license plate, and my fingers froze. Then, I dialed a hidden number I hadn’t used in years. “Bring the guys. Trash the car.”

Life has a funny way of throwing curveballs, and for Ella Blake, it was a fastball right to the heart. On the same day she discovered she was pregnant, her husband, Lucas, dropped a bombshell: his childhood sweetheart, Amy, was also expecting—and he wanted Ella to raise the child. Talk about a double whammy! Devastated and feeling utterly betrayed, Ella packed her bags and left the life she once knew, vowing never to look back. Fast forward six years, and she's back, but with a new look and a fierce attitude. Lucas can’t believe his luck when he spots her, mistaking their chemistry for a chance to rekindle their past. But with secrets, old feelings, and Amy reappearing with her own bombshell, can Ella find a way to reclaim her heart, or will revenge take the wheel? What will happen when the past collides with the present?

"Dante" His breezy baritone swept across the carriage sending me to a jolt. "The name's Dante" He added as if to reassure me. I was on my way to an unknown Pack, it's funny how I was a Princess in my father's Palace in Arazona one day and the next, I'm being sold off to a beastial pack as a bride. I knew my place, surely, I was naive but not stupid. My life and death depended on him from the day of that horrible wedding, the moment we set off in the carriage my life was sealed with his, and the moment he looked into my eyes with the untamed, fiery and strong gaze, I feared I would lose my sanity and heart too. My heart was the border line, anything but my heart could be taken from me, I suddenly have the urge to tame him, My Alpha.

"There Are THREE SIDES To Every Story. YOURS, HIS And The TRUTH."We both hold distaste for the other. We're both clouded by their own selfish nature. We're both playing the blame game. It won't end until someone admits defeat. Until someone decides to call it quits. But how would that ever happen? We're are just as stubborn as one another.Only one thing would change our resolution to one another. An Engagement. .......An excerpt -" To be honest I have no interest in you. ", he said coldly almost matching the demeanor I had for him, he still had a long way to go through before he could be on par with my hatred for him. He slid over to me a hot cup of coffee, it shook a little causing drops to land on the counter. I sighed, just the sight of it reminded me of the terrible banging in my head. Hangovers were the worst. We sat side by side in the kitchen, disinterest, and distaste for one another high. I could bet if it was a smell, it'd be pungent."I feel the same way. " I replied monotonously taking a sip of the hot liquid, feeling it burn my throat. I glanced his way, staring at his brown hair ruffled, at his dark captivating green eyes. I placed a hand on my lips remembering the intense scene that occurred last night. I swallowed hard. How? I thought. How could I be interested?I was in love with his brother.

If you are going to be BAD, then you have to do it the BAD way... It's pretty simple: 1) Don't get caught 2) Always have a Plan B 3) If all else fails... Run...Run for your life! Everyone has a bad side. Some try to deny it's existence, some hide it and others well...they rule the world with it. In the book of being BAD, there are ninety-nine formulas for world domination... Number one: You aren't BAD until you can walk around the school dressed in all pink and have everyone afraid to approach you. Number two: You aren't BAD until you can break into a certain bad boys house and well... do the wrong kinds of stuff. Number three: You aren't bad until quite frankly, you have declared vengeance against the bad boy. ~*~ "I heard you like bad boys," Blade says with a vivid smirk on his face. I glared up at him, without responding clenching my fists fighting the urge to punch him in the face. "So...?" He says after a couple of seconds of silence. "So what?" "So what do you think...Tinker Bell?" He says emphasizing on the stupid name. His face moved closer to mine and I stared back into his green eyes, watching the fire inside ignite. I smirked, "Then find me one." Blade grins at my witty retort and shrugs it off. "I look at you and I see cotton candy, but then you open your mouth... and suddenly you turn into liquorice," he scoffs. "Welcome to the game bitch, your move, now let's play."

Our elders always advice us to stay from our enemies but what will if they themselves arranged the marriage with your enemy. Same happened with Krisha and Abeer. Abeer is an IAS officer with good looks , sense of humor and little bit of aggression. On the other hand Krisha is a lawyer with full of sarcasm and beauty a perfect combination. She is confident lady. The question is how did they become enemies? And will they able survive in this arrange marriage. Or it will turned out into complete disaster?

Right when she thought she was going to hit the ground something hard caught her, a pair of arms and when she looked up she was staring into a set of deep gray eyes..... This is my first attempt at writing so I'm sure there are plenty of mistakes, any and all comments/reviews are welcome. Thank you and I hope you enjoy 😄

Natasha is always bullied because of her old-fashioned look. Clyde del Espania, the man of her dreams is the opposite. He is so good-looking and one of the heirs of the Dynasty Agency. She believes that Clyde will also notice her one day. She knows that she isn't exactly beautiful. Sometimes, they'd even call her weird, but she doesn't give them the chance to get inside her head that much. She is certain that the drop-dead gorgeous man, Clyde del Espania, will be hers with the help of the love potions written in her grandmother's book. What could happen if the enchantment that she has been anticipating always failed because of Kyle del Espania, the guy that she dislikes so much who also happens to be Clyde's twin brother? He knows how hard she loves his twin brother so he decides to help her in order for Clyde to notice her and fall for her. The guy also has a different goal for doing so as the girl that he loves is now engaged with his twin brother. But how could they continue with the plan if she is the one who seems to be enchanted by her love's twin brother? What if Kyle turns out to be the guy that she truly loves? Will she be successful in enchanting him to fall for her instead when he still loves his ex, Claire?

Olivia Summers, a hopeless romantic trying to win the heart of her 'one true love'. She's on her journey to find her soulmate. Until a casanova came along trying to break her heart and prove 'true love' does not exist. He's on his journey to shatter her hopes on love. Will she win her true love or will he succeed in breaking her heart first? Two completely different views and opinions on love but deep down they have a same goal: To chase and win in the game of love. But sometimes love is where they least expect it.

Today was like the day I met him: Me, riding a bicycle and him, walking down the pavement. I grab the handle of the bicycle and watch him as he make his way towards me. I do not know why I feel nervous. A trickle of sweat drip on the side of my face, my heart beat fast and I could hardly breathe. He was meters away, until it grow shorter to a foot and then bam, he bumped into me and we fall down, him on top of me. This felt like a deja vù, like it was our very first encounter. We scurried to get up but ended up bumping our heads together. I glared at him as he got up, He didn't even offer me a hand. He didn’t even give me a second glance. He just passed by me. Not noticing me. Not even looking at me. I let go of the bicycle and turn to face him. I remove the helmet that I was wearing and grip it tightly before screaming, “YAH! My hands curled into a fist and before I know it, the helmet I was holding was already flying towards him.I raise my hand as if to save him but it collided on his head right before I could even react. It sounded a hollow thump and a pronounced groan. His hands made his way to the back of his head as he turn and face me. With those eyes that seem like it was murdering me, he chase me off and I hastily took my bicycle and ran. I couldn’t help but feel happy instead of guilty as he ran after me. This was like before. This was like that summer, that summer I met him.