Funny Snape Novels & Stories

“It was less hilarious when I had to reassure my staff that no, we hadn’t been infiltrated by a burglar and his overly enthusiastic elf apprentice.” Luca, completely unbothered by the comparison, let out an unholy combination of a snort and chuckle —what I’ve since dubbed a snortle—at the idea of being called an elf. Naturally, he then had the audacity to grab my tea, take a dramatic gulp, and recoil as if I’d just offered him liquid despair. His face twisted in such disgust you’d think I’d poisoned him. “It’s bitter,” he croaked, eyeing the mug as though it had personally offended him.

“Yet.” “I don’t know, it was a bit funny,” Severus muses, a dark smile playing on his lips. “She looked like a plucked chicken, just squawking on the floor.” He laughs heartily, a genuine sound of amusement, before taking another drag. He parts his lips to exhale the smoke in a perfect ring. “You should have cut the arms too, really done the trick.” He laughs again, shaking his head. “Maybe we can add that to the first official torture session,” I shrug, the casual cruelty coming easily when it concerns someone who hurt Eleanor.

I pointed at it, "You know we're having an emotional moment while you're wearing a snake." Raphael looked down, "The snake is not interfering." "The snake is absolutely interfering." "It has been very respectful of our space." I laughed so hard I had to cover my face. Raphael looked pleased with himself. When had this happened? When had he become funny? That felt unfair. After a minute my laughter faded as he put the snake back into its enclosure and suddenly something occurred to me, I didn't want him to stop talking, not yet. I looked up at him, "Raphael?"

said Claudia Luvin steadily with her humongous determination. “Hahaha... Such dedicated young female knights General Randy has ever had...” Mr. Serpent Win Mara burst out in his queerly vicious laughter. Having heard Mr. Serpent Win Mara’s peculiarly vicious and sarcastic laughter, Claudia Luvin’s and Lisa Felisha’s bodies suddenly shivered violently badly. They were seen stooping down their heads again. They didn’t dare to lift up their heads and stare back at Mr. Serpent Win Mara’s pair of eyes which were as sharp as a snake’s eyes.

“He seemed just fine to me when I saw him this morning. Besides there is no trouble in the Ville. I mean, of course except you lose all three rounds in the tournament, which is likely impossible because, a lot of packs think he is the strongest Alpha, so…” “He did. He lost all three.” I said. Snape was quiet, probably shocked by the news. He burst into a wild laughter, and started the car again. “You got me there. How could I be so dumb?” He said laughing. “You think this is a joke? How badly injured was Ian when you saw him this morning?”

"Guys, pay attention now. Mr. Fart has entered the class. " Listening the nickname of their professor ... everyone giggled and prepared for their lecture, while Scarlet was feeling thirsty again.

I passed the another container of the sap to Jack who was waiting on standby for this moment. He popped it open and the mist turned in his direction at the sound of the pop. With super reflexes and silence, he moved away from the direction the dark wizard was flying to, shifted to the side and poured the sap on the mist. We watched in wonder as the mist started to change in color, twisting as a snake who was in pain would. I snorted. The dark wizard was nothing but a snake after all. Suddenly, a scream erupted from the mist and it dissolved, evaporating finally till there was nothing left.

Slapping it down on the table, I snarked, “That’s interesting. So, how often do you shed your skin?” His broad shoulders stiffened. “If I’m a snake, then you’re poison.” When he craned his head to look down at me, I swore I saw his lips twitch. I must’ve imagined it, because there was no way this walking icicle had a sense of humor. “Tears of a Wendigo, third shelf to your right.”

"No rainbow or pot of gold. Also, I think he'd be wearing green, wouldn't he?" "Leprechaun! Don't you go calling me no stinking leprechaun, you elven lackey. I'll zap you into next week, I will. Now put me down!" "He is feisty," Rhychard said. "And cute," Renny added. "Don't forget cute."

And boy did he talk! "Well, after the winning match party in the common room, I decided to talk to Larry, make him some company, imagining that he would be bored alone in the infirmary while regrowing the bones of his entire arm and hand, even more after I heard some others boys talking that you can't sleep while the potion is in effect. Then I went down to the kitchens and asked the elves for some good snacks for someone recovering. They gave me a bowl full of grapes, and I thanked them. Then I went out of the kitchen to go to the infirmary. It was when I was starting to climb the stairs that I saw the big snake. At least I saw part of it, I saw its tail. And it was big, really big! I was s